Fallen Star
by Quietonewisp
Summary: Shepard never planned on dying or falling in love with the greatest assassin in the galaxy. My retelling of ME2 with plenty of headcanon.
1. A Million Pieces

_Quick note: When I first started this story I hadn't written anything in over ten years, and you can tell. The first chapter is nothing but exposition. I would take it down and rewrite, but this is where I was when I started. Chapter 2 is a more accurate representation if you'd prefer to skip to that._

She moved silently though the corridors of the _Normandy_, the ship exactly as it used to be. Garrus, Liara, Kaidan, even Ash. Not one of them responded as she drifted past them down towards the place where it had happened, the place that always drew her back.

Panic, white hot, streaked through her, forcing a ragged gasp from her lips as the light around her splintered into a million pieces and she fell out of the world, falling through the side of her blazing ship and out into the starry void.

There was a second of stunned silence, then the cold prickle at the back of her neck and the incessant alarm in her suit that still rang in her ears every night. Her helmet. Fuck. She hadn't put it on properly.

Stars rushed past in a bright blur and, in her terror, she turned to see the planet rushing up towards her as her hands started to burn, flames rushing across her face and filling her mouth.

Half sobbing, half gasping, Shepard twisted off the bed and onto the floor, burying her face in the twisted blankets as she tried to dust the nightmare off. It was the same every night, falling through the wreckage of her life only to awaken in whatever mess the Reapers had left behind.

It still made no sense. She'd gone from dying to waking in some Cerberus facility under attack, as usual, and then she'd been given her ship back, or something like her ship. The only familiar face was Joker, and his was the last face she'd seen before she'd been hurled into space.

Shepard took a deep breath and lifted her head, scanning the room for something to quell the panic. Her Cerberus uniform was neatly folded on the sofa, and on the other side of the room the fish tank spilled its blue light across the floor, showing only how unfamiliar everything was.

She rose slowly to her feet and headed for the shower, taking care not to look at her face in the mirror as she passed, and ducked under the hot water with a sigh. Her body was covered with a fine filigree of scars, streaking red across her pale flesh.

Miranda had assured her they would fade, and Shepard had to admit there had already been a slight improvement, especially on her face, where the glowing scars made her look like some kind of monster.

From what Shepard could gather, Miranda had been in charge of bringing her back to life, kindling a spark from whatever remained after her fall through the atmosphere over Alchera. She had been deliberately vague about how that had happened exactly, and her attitude did nothing to endear her to Shepard, making it abundantly clear that she saw her as a project and nothing more.

The only other people she'd had any contact with so far were The Illusive Man and Jacob. She wanted to trust Jacob; he was ex-Alliance and she wanted that to count for something, but the logo on his uniform let her know exactly where his loyalties lay.

The Illusive Man was a different matter. She would never trust him, but for now their goals were the same and, much as it annoyed her to work for Cerberus, she saw very little in the way of alternatives.

Human colonies were vanishing and, being pro-human, Cerberus naturally wanted her to look into it. From what they'd seen on Freedom's Progress, the Collectors were harvesting humans, for some reason Shepard had yet to fathom.

There was also the very expensive question of why they'd resurrected her and given her a new ship in the likeness of her old command. They'd even offered her help in the form of unlimited resources and prospective team members.

Whatever suspicions she might harbour, Cerberus had brought her back from the dead and they had given her the means to continue her fight against the Reapers. A fight that had already taken her life.

Back when she'd seen her first Reaper everything had seemed so clear. It was her duty to protect people, and she'd done her best to do just that, setting herself against impossible odds and somehow making it out the other side. She'd become the first human Spectre, she'd brought Saren down, and she had saved the Citadel.

Now nothing was clear. She was working for the enemy, chasing after Collectors, and everything had changed, down to the very fabric of her skin. When she looked in the mirror, she saw not herself but the ghost of Commander Shepard, tethered to what seemed like her joke of an existence by the one thing that had taken her life in the first place – her need to stop the Reapers.

Shepard forced herself to switch the shower off and stepped slowly out, shrugging into her uniform before sitting down at her desk to look over the dossiers that the Illusive Man had sent her.

There was no way she could hope to take on the Collectors without a strong team, and without her old team to fall back on she would have to use whatever the Illusive Man gave her. She could only hope that he invested as much in her team as he did in her.

She had wanted to contact her old crewmates again, had started numerous messages only to erase them and walk away from her console as she questioned herself repeatedly. To them she was dead. Was it fair of her to drag them into this again simply because she missed them?

Not having Garrus by her side was the hardest. He had been her best friend, always at her side in battle and constant in his friendship. What would he think of her now, working for the group they had despised so bitterly?

She was ashamed of herself and what she had become - a scarred monster with a complete disregard for the morals that made her who she was. Working for the wrong people for the right reasons was not the Commander Shepard her friends had known, and so the messages had remained unsent.

Picking up the foremost dossier Shepard had one last read through the information before dragging herself out of her chair to go and meet up with Miranda and Jacob.

She made her way through the Normandy, past the usual bunch of quietly submissive Cerberus personnel, through CIC and up to those stairs. The weight of her nightmare pressed in on her, her feet heavy as she approached this part of the ship as she did in her dreams, as the back of her neck prickled uncomfortably. It felt like someone walking on her grave.

Eyes straight ahead Shepard pressed on, reaching the glow of the cockpit where Joker seemed to be insulting the AI again.

"Joker, how's it going up here?"

"Ah, you know. Just like old times. Except for the freaky space ghost that keeps talkin' to me. Do you think it's possible for a new ship to be haunted? Could we get it exorcised or something?"

"We're working for Cerberus, we're going to fight the Collectors, and you're bleating about the AI? Still?"

"Yep."

Shepard rolled her eyes at him, happy to hear his usual stupid comments. "How far are we from Omega?"

"Bout an hour. What are we doing, bringing someone else on board to join the Cerberus party? Can you bring someone fun this time, someone who doesn't have a stick up their ass?"

"I'll do my best, Joker, just for you. Let me know as soon as we've docked."

"Sure thing, Commander."

Shepard nodded and left the bridge, making her way to the briefing room to meet Miranda and Jacob for their pre-mission briefing. Their first target was Archangel, a mercenary commander located somewhere on Omega. Intel suggested he had managed to make himself a target of the local mercs by attacking their leaders, and, knowing Omega as she did, there was no way he'd be able to escape their attentions for long.

Miranda arrived early for the briefing, closely followed by Jacob who looked pissed off at being last.

"Commander." He gave a brief salute then glared at Miranda, who completely ignored him. She leant against the table and fixed Shepard with what seemed to be her usual suspicious look.

"So, Commander, we're going to retrieve Doctor Mordin Solus, correct? Our intel indicates he's set up some kind of clinic in the plague zone."

"No. We're going after Archangel first. He's managed to upset every single merc in Omega and that makes him our priority. There's no way he can avoid them for long in a place like Omega," Shepard said, folding her arms. "And as soon as we've recovered him, we can go after Mordin."

"What? He's got all the mercs after him?" Jacob whistled. "I'd hate to have those bastards after me. Though they might kill each other first, make our lives a lot easier."

Shepard nodded, reflecting that it should be relatively easy to get them all to turn on each other. Alliances between gangs were always fragile at the best of times and it could take the slightest thing to break them, as she well knew.

"We'll head to Afterlife first and speak to Aria T'Loak; she should be able to tell us something about Archangel and Mordin. I'd rather not have to fight our way in through the mercs if possible. Any questions?"

Miranda stalked over and circled around Shepard, scrutinising her carefully. "None whatsoever, Commander. I trust you're feeling up to this?"

"If I wasn't, you'd be the first to know. EDI, what's our ETA?"

"Twenty seven minutes and forty three seconds."

"Go get ready and I'll meet you at the airlock in fifteen minutes. We need to be ready to move the moment we dock," Shepard ordered, striding back to her room to start suiting up.

Before she left the cabin, she forced herself to look in the mirror, staring back at the glowing eyes of the creature she had become. Commander Shepard was dead, but she allowed herself to hope that if anything of her remained it was the best part, the part that would keep going no matter what.

She was no longer a Spectre or a Commander but something entirely different - a shade dragged back from death itself. With a last look, Shepard left the room and went to collect her first lost soul, her Archangel.


	2. Matching Set

Quick note for my readers: I'm overhauling this story so this is my redone chapter 2. Thanks for bearing with me!

The moment she saw the Turian, Shepard felt her heart leap, forgotten emotions stirring in her chest. She wanted it to be him, so much that she almost called out his name as she approached his tall form.

It was impossible, she told herself, extinguishing the small spark of hope that had risen in her chest. Garrus wouldn't be in a hell hole like this.

"Archangel?"

He took his helmet off, sat down, and in an instant Shepard felt her legs move as if to go to him, wanting to throw her arms around the familiar form of her best friend. It was only the numbing realisation that they were surrounded by angry mercs that kept her feet firmly on the ground.

"Shepard? I thought you were dead?"

"I was. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Just keeping my skills sharp. A little target practise," Garrus replied, tiredness evident in his voice. Whatever had happened over the last two years, they certainly hadn't been kind to him. It almost broke her heart to see him like that, weary and hunched over, picking off mercs in the pit that was Omega.

Shepard approached him, wishing that Jacob and Miranda weren't listening so intently behind her, looking him over for any obvious injuries. "You okay?" she asked quietly, knowing the answer already. He'd never admit to anything though.

"Been better. But it sure is good to see a friendly face. Killing mercs is hard work. Especially on my own," he growled.

"Do I need to ask how you managed to piss off every mercenary group in the Terminus system, or shall I just put that down to your unique talent?"

"Ha. It wasn't easy., I really had to work at it." Garrus looked as though he might manage a smile for a second, looking up at her with his bright blue eyes. "I'm amazed that they teamed up to fight me. They really must hate me."

"Let's get out of here. You can tell me all about it as soon as we're back on the Normandy." As soon as she'd said it, she was struck by the strangeness of the words, acting as though somehow nothing had changed when everything had.

"The Normandy?" For the first time, Garrus properly looked at her companions and their uniforms, the Cerberus logo all too obvious. "Alright. And you can tell me why you're working for Cerberus on the 'Normandy.'"

"It's a long story, as usual," she said, rubbing a gloved hand over her eyes as she headed for the balcony to check their escape route. It looked quiet but she knew better. Quiet now meant trouble was heading their way.

"We got in here;, I don't think getting out will be as easy."

Garrus stood at her side, giving her the briefest of glances before turning his attention to the bridge they'd come over on their way in. "No, it won't. That bridge has saved my life so far, funnelling all those witless idiots into scope. But it works both ways."

"So what do you suggest, Archangel?"

"We dig in here, wait for a crack in their defences and take our chances," he advised, checking his gun before raising the scope to scan along the bridge. "Hmm, looks like they know their infiltration team has failed. Take a look."

Shepard lifted the scope to see a bunch of mechs swarming towards their position, counting them before handing the gun back to Garrus. "How are we doing this?"

"I'll stay up here. I can do a lot of damage from this vantage point. You, you can do what you do best. Just like old times, Shepard."

His voice rang hollow, and Shepard couldn't help but raise a hand to pat his shoulder in an act of consolation, knowing as well as he did that the old times were long gone. He gave her a small nod, then put his helmet back on and waited for them to get in position overlooking the exposed bridge leading into the base.

It didn't take long for the mercs to start making their way over. They picked the mechs off with relative ease, but it wasn't until actual mercs appeared that they started to run into trouble.

"Looks like they've made it in!" Garrus yelled, ducking down next to Shepard and reloading.

"I'll take care of it. Jacob, stay with Garrus. Miranda, with me," Shepard ordered, bolting down the back stairs to take care of anyone that had the misfortune of making it into the base.

The combined strength of their biotics made short work of them, throwing mercs out of the base where Garrus and Jacob finished them off.

"Base cleared," messaged Shepard, popping her heatsink and turning to head back upstairs.

"Shepard, you might want to take a look at this."

"Oh, the heavy mech? Doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter?" Garrus almost shouted. "What the hell did Cerberus replace your brain with?"

"You'll see. Don't shoot it."

The heavy mech stomped towards them, swathed in shields and preparing to fire rockets. Then it turned and started firing at the mercs instead, much to Shepard's satisfaction. It had been a nice touch to hack it as they passed, giving the mercs a surprise and making their lives much easier.

Shepard broke cover and started lifting the mercs into the air for the mech to finish off, throwing a few of them off the bridge for good measure. This went well until the mech finally blew, scattering the few mercs that were left in the open and giving her a chance to press forwards. It was then that she spotted Jaroth, leader of the Eclipse gang. If they took him down, their chances of getting out were much improved.

"Jacob, Miranda, concentrate on Jaroth!" she shouted, leaping out the front of the base. Jaroth fired a couple of shots before Shepard managed to lift him, her barrier fizzing as it deflected the damage. Once he was suspended in mid-air, the team dispatched him quickly, with Garrus getting in more than his fair share of shots.

"Looks like that's all of them," Garrus messaged. "Come find me before they regroup."

Miranda and Shepard were climbing the stairs back up when the alarm sounded, giving them a burst of speed that sent them hurtling back to Garrus.

"What the hell was that?" Jacob asked as Garrus checked his omni-tool. Shepard took the chance to reload her gun, watching her friend carefully and noting the signs of stress with a mixture of happiness and dread. She had known him long enough to know when things were going wrong. But despite the situation she couldn't help but be happy they were together again.

"They've breached the lower levels. Well, they had to use their brains eventually. You'd better get down there, Shepard. I'll keep the bridge clear."

"Miranda, stay here and make sure nothing happens to him. Jacob, with me," Shepard ordered, already half out of the room. Jacob caught up quickly and they tore down the stairs, biotics already flaring.

Shepard was crouched behind a wall picking off the last of the mercs when she heard the noise, the unmistakeable whine of a gunship engine followed by the drumming of bullets that seemed to go on forever. Garrus.

Her legs felt clumsy as she ran, heart in her mouth, towards the noise. There was no way she was going to lose him now, not after she'd just found him again. She burst into the room shouting his name at the top of her lungs, saw Miranda crouched in cover and caught a glimpse of Garrus lying motionless on the floor, just beyond her reach.

"Garrus? Damn it! Garrus!" she spat, her heart thudding painfully in her chest as she scanned the room. She had to get to him.

"Miranda, Jacob, keep at the gunship – I'll hold its attention!"

She looked over at Garrus, took a deep breath, then stood up and levelled her weapon at the gunship, blasting it with Reave in an attempt to drop its shields. If the gunship returned fire, Shepard didn't hear it, the sound of her heartbeat loud in her ears as she threw everything she had at it. There was no way she was coming this far to let a gunship beat her now. She ignored the sound of her barrier hissing as it threatened to break beneath the onslaught. Still she fired, unloading clip after clip into its canopy until she finally punctured its shields.

For a second it hung there before her, guns shining bright in the darkness. Then in an instant the gunship was reduced to shrapnel that rained all over them in burning hot shards. Shepard ignored them, throwing herself down at Garrus' side and turning him over gently.

Eyelids flickering he gave a wet gasp, haloed by the blue blood that spilled from his horrific wounds.

"We're getting you out of here, Garrus, just hold on!" Shepard almost screamed, knowing that moving him in this condition could be murder but seeing no other way out of there. Miranda gave him a quick application of medi-gel, her eyes not quite meeting Shepard's.

"Miranda, take point. Jacob, help me get him up."

She shouldered his lanky frame with Jacob taking his other side, refusing to look at her friends face as they carried him out.

The base was eerily quiet as they made their slow way out of there, the laboured breathing of Garrus loud in the hush that was of their own making. There seemed to be nothing but dead mercs marking the path, but Miranda was taking no chances, leading the way with her weapon drawn.

Shepard found herself muttering under her breath, urging Garrus to stay with them, berating him for getting himself into this situation and forbidding him from leaving her. He'd always believed in her even when she had lost faith. The idea of a galaxy without him in it was too much to bear.

They made it out without meeting a single soul and Miranda promptly switched back into CO mode, contacting the Normandy to update them on their location and giving Garrus another shot of medi-gel as they dragged his prone form through Omega.

Doctor Chakwas was waiting for them and she directed them with practised authority as they loaded him carefully onto the waiting stretcher and tore inside the Normandy.

The usually calm, quiet, surroundings of the medbay erupted into life under the careful direction of Chakwas, and Shepard couldn't help drifting closer as she watched her friend fading away before her, the blue of his eyes hidden from her. They'd even taken his visor off and she found herself reaching for it, wanting to keep hold of some fragment of him just in case he disappeared.

"Commander." Jacob stood in front of her, covered in blood. "We'd better leave, give them room to work. Come on, there's nothing else you can do here."

The fight went out of Shepard and she nodded, trailing back to her room and stripping methodically out of her armour down to her undersuit. The fabric was stuck to her skin with the crusted blood of her best friend, forcing her to tear it off with shaking hands. He'd lost so much. If a human lost that much they'd…

Crouching in the shower she allowed herself to cry at last, watching the blue blood swirl around her toes and down the drain. Garrus had always been there when she'd needed him and how had she returned the favour? She'd left him to wash up somewhere like Omega, refusing to contact him out of her own foolishness. She should never have doubted him.

"Commander?"

The soothing voice of EDI snapped her to attention and she swallowed hard before replying. "Yes, EDI?"

"Officer Taylor wishes to speak to you in the Briefing room, he has news regarding Archangel."

"Tell him I'll be right there."

The expression on Shepard's face was worth the pain it had cost him to get out of that bed and come to find her, his face stinging at every step even with the wash of painkillers in his system.

"Shepard."

He heard Jacob muttering something about being 'a tough son of bitch' but his attention stayed with Shepard, still unable to believe that it was actually her.

"Nobody would give me a mirror," he said, walking slowly towards Shepard. "How bad is it?"

"Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly," she shrugged. "Slap some face paint on there and no one will even notice."

Garrus tried not to laugh, flinching as the movement pulled at his wounds. "Don't make me laugh, damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is. Some women find facial scarring attractive. Mind you, most of those women are Krogan."

Jacob chose this moment to leave the room, giving them a stiff salute before leaving them alone at last.

Shepard rushed over, grabbed his hands in hers and planted a gentle kiss on his undamaged cheek.

"Hey, what was that for? You gone soft now you're working for Cerberus?" he growled, staring at the Commander and examining the livid red scars on her face. "I see we're a matching set now." He raised one of his claws to her face but she pulled back with a smile and swatted his hand away.

She still looked like his Shepard, his best friend, but he realised with a jolt that there was something seriously wrong with this whole picture. His best friend had died and now this creature was standing there in her place.

The pallor of her skin looked almost corpse-like and the bright green of her eyes had been replaced with a dull red glow, as though she'd been dragged back from hell itself and hadn't stopped burning.

Yet there she stood, back from the dead and the whole reason he was drawing breath. He could hardly doubt her now.

"It's… it's just nice to have you back. I thought you were dead," she murmured, rubbing her own scars with a frown.

"Yeah, a lot of that going around. Shepard, what did they do you? What the hell is all of this?" asked Garrus softly, leaning slightly into her as though trying to reassure himself that she was really and truly there beside him.

"From what I've been told, Cerberus rebuilt me from whatever that was left. The first I knew about it I was waking up in some lab with Miranda telling me we were under attack. Then they gave me the Normandy back - complete with Joker - and told me to investigate the human colonies that are going missing. I didn't expect to be working with Cerberus. I didn't expect any of this." She looked away from him, her shoulders shaking a little.

"Shepard, about the Cerberus thing. You remember the sick experiments they were doing?"

"That's why I'm glad you're here. If I'm walking into hell-"

Garrus interrupted her with a snort. "When aren't you walking into hell?"

"As I was saying," Shepard resumed, nudging his side with her shoulder, "I want someone I trust at my side".

Garrus looked at her for a moment, still trying to process the fact that she was actually alive and asking for his help. When he looked at her he caught a glimpse of the human he used to know, hiding behind the red eyes and glowing scars.

"You realize this plan has me walking into hell, too? Hah, just like old times," he said to her, wandering away towards the exit. "I'm fit for duty whenever you need me, Shepard. I'll settle in and see what I can do at…"

"The forward batteries," they said in unison, Shepard trying to hide a smirk. "Go calibrate, I'll see you later."

Garrus gave a nod and left, unable to stop himself from wondering what the hell he'd just got himself into.


	3. Bait

Garrus sat outside the door, picking at the floor with his talons and wondering what on earth he was going to say to her after the disaster that was Horizon. Not only had they failed to protect the Colony, but Kaidan had been there and his reception had been less than kind, leaving Shepard visibly shaken.

He'd seen her wade through the scum of Omega to recruit Mordin, break out of a high security prison to rescue Jack and pit herself against a mutant Krogan army but he'd never seen her shut down like that before, her shoulders slumping and her smile trickling away.

There was no denying that Shepard had changed. It was there in the hesitations and the silences, a distance that hadn't been there before she'd died. Garrus wanted to believe that it would disappear given time, but if anything it had grown worse.

She fought as though she were simply going through the motions, and the rest of the time she was hidden away in her cabin, haunting the ship with her absence.

It was up to him to say something. Aside from Joker there was nobody else left, and he knew for a fact that she'd rather die before she talked to Miranda or Jacob. So it had come down to this, waiting for her to finish her debrief with the Illusive Man.

The door slid open and Shepard stomped out before he could scramble to his feet, forcing her to stumble over his legs.

"Dammit Garrus, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you, about Horizon."

Shepard sighed then reached down to help him up, her usual frown back on her face. "Do we have to do this now? I haven't even had a chance to get this armour off."

"That's a crappy excuse, Shepard. How about you tell me what is going on? A couple of years ago you would have punched him out for that bullshit he pulled, and what did you do? Try and reason with him? This isn't like you, Shepard."

"You're right," she said softly, rubbing a hand over her face. "Come on, I need to get changed."

Garrus followed her back to her cabin, waiting until they were through the door before launching into his carefully planned speech.

"Look, Shepard, I'm not trying to make excuses for the guy, but I think there's something you ought to know about Kaidan. He… well, he…"

This was turning out to be more difficult than he'd imagined. Garrus scratched at his fringe and continued.

"He was in love with you."

Shepard said nothing, her back to him as she stripped her armour off piece by piece.

"I mean, the last two years must have been hard on him, thinking you were dead then hearing you were…"

"He was the bait," Shepard said bluntly, slamming her chest guard down on the desk. "He was the bait to bring me and the Collectors in, and it worked."

"What?"

"The Illusive Man tipped the Alliance off, he told them that Horizon was the next target and that I happened to be working with them. They sent Kaidan there to find out if that was true and lured the Collectors in."

"Lured the Collectors in? I don't understand Shepard, why would Kaidan have lured them in?"

"Because they're looking for me and anyone who may be connected to me."

Shepard turned away from him and continued taking her armour off, stowing it carefully in her locker.

"I don't like the sound of any of this," he muttered, pacing across the room with long strides. "The Illusive Man didn't happen to have any idea why they might be going to all this trouble just for you?"

"If he knows he's not saying anything," Shepard replied, peeling her under-suit off and looking for her clothes. "I'd quite like to stop them before either they or Cerberus pull anything like this again."

"And I guess the Alliance is trying to pretend this isn't happening, as usual."

Shepard shrugged her shoulders, pulling her underwear on and grabbing a clean Cerberus uniform from her drawers. "I have no idea what the Alliance is doing anymore. Kaidan made it pretty clear what they think of me."

"Kaidan was just pissed off that you were making them look bad. You know he didn't mean it, Shepard. The last two years were tough, for all of us."

Garrus clicked his mandibles and perched on the desk, watching Shepard squirm her strange human body into her uniform as he had many times before. She changed in front of him so often that he didn't even notice anymore, just took it to be one of those weird human things that she did.

"Why didn't you contact any of us? I mean, at least Kaidan heard rumours – hell, I just thought I was hallucinating when you showed up, four days with no sleep and nothing to do except kill people."

"How could I?" Shepard snapped, pacing over to him. "Look at me, Garrus, I'm working with Cerberus of all people! What did you expect me to do, drop you a message saying 'Oh hi, I'm not dead and, by the way, I'm working for Cerberus'?"

"Well." Garrus shrugged. "That would have been a start."

Shepard laughed, a snorting giggle that made him smile in response. She was still in there, she just needed some coaxing out.

Moving a pile of datapads, she sat down next to him and started to bump his leg with hers, an annoying habit that he found almost endearing. Almost.

"See, this is why I didn't contact you, I knew you'd have some smart arse remark lined up for me."

"You know that's why you keep me around. That, and you'd be dead again without me covering your back."

Garrus felt her lean into him and leant back, listening to her silence and wondering what was going on in that scarred head of hers.

"So, what now? The Alliance is ignoring us, Cerberus is lying to us, and the Collectors are out to get you. Sounds like business as usual."

"We build the team up, wait for the Illusive Man to find us a way through the relay, then we go and stop the Collectors. Simple."

"Of course, we pass through the Omega-Four relay that, incidentally, nobody has ever returned from, and then we fight the Collectors on their home world when we can't even stop them abducting humans in our own back yard. How do you humans say it? Ah, that's right. Piece of cake."

Shepard sighed and picked up the pile of datapads, the smile gone from her face.

"Thanks for that, Garrus, always looking on the bright side. Now, if you get your bony Turian arse off my desk, I could get some work done."

Garrus laughed and ambled out of the room, leaving Shepard on her own.

"A piece of cake," Shepard repeated in the silence, dropping her head into her hands and remembering what Kaidan had said. What if he was right? What if she was the one not thinking straight?

When she'd been with the Alliance, there had never been any doubt in her mind that she was doing the right thing. But now the Alliance had turned its back on her and she was alone for the first time since she was a child. They had been her family, her duty, her reason for living.

When Kaidan said those things, she realised - properly realised - that this was it. She was on her own as she hadn't been since she was a child, cold and scared back in the slums of earth. If she fell in this task, there was nobody else to carry on after her. Everything she had struggled for would be as nothing, their sacrifices would be lost amongst everything else obliterated by the Reapers.

There was no going back now. She had to be ready.

Shepard picked up the datapads and forced herself to look through them, studying the new dossiers that the Illusive Man had sent her.

With a last glance at the datapad, Shepard made up her mind. After all, she'd already fallen this far, why not fall a little further?

"EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Please can you ask Joker to change course? We'll go straight to Illium. The Citadel can wait."

"Of course, Commander. Shall I explain why we are changing course?"

"Yes," Shepard said, cradling the datapad in her hands. "Tell him we're going to pick up an assassin."


	4. Glimpse of a Shadow

The tower stood before them, bathed in the last fleeting rays of the sun, and Shepard found her eyes drawn to the penthouse where Thane's target was hiding. It seemed almost impossibly far, and she felt the worry slip into her bones at the thought of all that lay between her and her destination.

"Don't linger too long," Seryna shouted, her voice almost lost over the whine of the transport's engines. "They'll be here to greet you soon enough."

Shepard reached up and shut the door, disregarding the Asari's empty wish of good luck. As far as Seryna was concerned they were going in there simply to draw fire so Thane could reach Nassana faster, but Shepard had other ideas. She was going to get there first.

The transport lifted high into the clear sky, and Shepard started towards the entrance, gunshots catching her attention.

A couple of Salarians ran into sight, fleeing desperately from a small troop of mechs that showed neither mercy or restraint, and Shepard could only watch as they shot the first Salarian in the back, his terrified scream muted in an instant.

Without thinking she tore towards them, smashing through the glass door with a few blasts from her submachine gun and unleashing her biotics on the first Mech she spotted, slamming it into the floor then turning her attention to the last few.

She cut them down in seconds with help from Garrus and Kasumi, moving automatically over to the fallen Salarian and scanning him for life signs. He was a lost cause but the other Salarian had made it further, as was evidenced by the trail of bloody footprints.

They found him barely metres away, blood spattered and wheezing out his last breaths, his glassy eyes widening with fear as they approached him.

Shepard raised her hands in a bid to reassure him then crouched at his side and administered a shot of medi-gel, her eyes never leaving his as she waited for the rattle of his breathing to ease.

"Easy there, I'm here to help," Shepard murmured, helping him into a sitting position then sitting back on her heels. "Who did this to you? And why?"

"We're just night workers. Nassana sent them after us. She sent the mechs to round us up but we didn't hear…" The Salarian coughed, his slight frame convulsing with the effort. "They started shooting. We were too slow…it was horrible, everyone screaming. They just wanted us out of the way."

Seryna hadn't been particularly complimentary about Nassana, and now that the evidence was here before her eyes, she had to agree that perhaps she had fallen beyond redemption since the last time Shepard had met her.

"We'll send help as soon as we can," Shepard said, climbing to her feet and preparing to move off. "Think you can hang on?"

"I...I think so," he spluttered, reaching one of his hands out as Shepard turned to leave. "Wait! Wait, please!"

His distress called Shepard back, and she crouched back down at his side as another cough shook his body. She would have to call for help sooner than she liked and damn the consequences.

"It's alright, I'm still here. What is it?"

"There are other workers in there, my friends. Can you help them, please?"

Shepard frowned, glancing up at Garrus as she got slowly to her feet. Things were getting more complicated by the second.

"We'll do our best," she promised, testing the weight of her words for truth and hoping there was some substance to them.

This time she didn't turn back, heading into the shadows and using her omni-tool to send a message that she knew would bring more trouble down on them, even with her precaution of routing it through Liara. If she was right about the Asari security forces they had a little under ten minutes before they arrived and found the mess she was about to create.

"Kasumi, what's the quickest way up to the penthouse?" Shepard asked, calling up a schematic of the towers and leaning into the pool of flickering orange light it created.

"The quickest way or the easiest way?" the thief asked, her fingers dancing through the map as she weighed up their options.

"Quickest, I want to be the one waiting for the assassin when he gets there."

"The quickest way would be up this tower and over the bridge here; it will leave us exposed until we get over it though. Once we're in, it shouldn't be a problem," Kasumi said, pointing out the bridge between their tower and Nassana's.

"And is Krios likely to have taken the same path?" Shepard asked, examining the map carefully and plotting their path through the dark twine of corridors.

"I'd guess so – unless he knows something we don't. He's moving on his own though so he'll be faster. He's also likely to be better at sneaking than you are. No offence, Shep."

"None taken. Come on, we'd better get moving."

She took her pistol out and brought up her barriers in one swift movement, forcing her sluggish legs into a run.

"Let's see if you can still keep up, Vakarian. You can even have a head start if you like."

"How about we let the ladies go first," Garrus said politely. "Kasumi?"

Shepard bit back a laugh then opened the door, waiting for Kasumi to go through before shoving Garrus out of the way and sprinting down the corridor towards the first group of mercs.

She was crouched in cover when she heard them, their voices echoing through the dust filled air.

"Hey – I think he went in here."

"Well, go get him."

"You go."

"Get your ass in there, Nassana's not paying you to stand around."

"Fine…but I…"

Muffled thuds rang through the sudden silence and Shepard sprang towards them, bolting out of the darkness straight into the path of a slew of Eclipse troopers who opened fire without hesitation, banishing any element of surprise.

Chaos erupted, bullets flying and glass smashing in a cascade of sound that made Shepard curse under her breath. There was no way Krios wouldn't have heard that and she gave up trying to sneak, lifting a Vanguard and throwing her through the remaining panes of glass before unleashing a hail of submachine gun fire on her.

"You know, I think Kasumi might have a point," Garrus said, stepping gingerly over the shards of glass as they cleared the room.

Irritation was starting to prickle at the back of her neck, anger starting to pulse through her bloodstream, twined with the sickly grasp of fear. She could still do this, she had to.

"Hey, Shep?"

"What, we don't have…"

"There's a locked door here, sounds like someone's inside," Kasumi said, unable to resist the opportunity. She'd hacked through before Shepard even had a chance to respond, and as the door opened, force of habit made her draw her pistol at whatever it contained.

Three Salarians stood cowering before her, their hands raised in surrender.

"Please don't kill us! We'll go, we'll go!"

"Hey look, they're not Eclipse," one of them murmured, stepping forwards. "You're here to help us…right?"

"It's one reason I'm here," Shepard admitted, forcing herself to focus on them. "Come out, it should be safe."

"Thank you, we are in your debt," the first Salarian said, giving her a small bow.

"Look, maybe you can help me, I'm looking for someone. Not a merc – he's on his own."

"Well, whoever sealed us in here," one of the Salarians burst out before being interrupted by one of the others.

"When he found us, I thought we were dead. But he just closed the door and locked us in."

It was unlikely that there was anyone else in the building, and Shepard couldn't help but turn this over in her mind. This small act of mercy that seemed somehow incongruous for a cold blooded killer. She had to find him.

"So our assassin has a conscience, hmm?" Garrus murmured, amusement colouring his voice.

Shepard ignored him, pulling out her pistol and reloading. "You should head for the lower levels, help is on the way. I don't suppose you know a quick way up the tower?"

"Cargo elevator is the only way up."

"Then that's where we're going. Garrus, Kasumi."

The Salarians started past them, the last one pausing next to her. "Thank you. And tell your assassin to aim for her head…'cause she doesn't have a heart."

_My assassin_, she thought. _Not yet_.

The elevator reached its destination with a gentle thud, the doors opening out onto utter silence. A dead merc lay on the floor metres from them, his limbs still twitching.

Wherever Krios was, he couldn't be far away, as this macabre greeting showed.

Shepard led the way, sprinting through the quiet and through another door into a darkened room where she heard a merc's voice echoing from some unknown location. Drawing her pistol she crept closer, listening intently.

"He's all over the place."

There was a slight buzz of static then a reply through his comm.

"What do you mean?"

"We've got reports of him on multiple levels. We think he's travelling through the ducts…"

Using the ducts to move around would give him a distinct advantage, one which she was helpless to counter. That left her with few options.

Shepard burst out of cover and lifted the merc, a yelp of surprise falling half formed from his lips as she fired her pistol to kill him. She couldn't afford to waste another second, and she slammed into another trooper with a wild rage that didn't go unnoticed by Garrus, throwing him across the room to meet his death against what looked like another sealed door.

"Fine, open it, but hurry up," Shepard snapped, staring around the room.

Kasumi shared a look with Garrus then opened the door, unsurprised to find two Salarians inside.

This time one of them raised a gun, and before she could stop herself Shepard sprang at him, twisting the gun easily from his fingers and raising it to aim squarely at his face.

"Look, I don't have time for this."

"Please stop, he's my brother – he's not usually like this, please!" the other Salarian babbled, rushing forwards and pulling his brother back from the barrel of Shepard's gun. "Are...are you the ones who shot the merc?"

Shepard glanced doubtfully at the corpse of the merc beside them, lowering her gun. "That wasn't me, are you sure it wasn't your brother?"

"No, Telon was standing here with me."

The assassin was starting to irritate her. There didn't seem to be any reason for leaving the Salarians alive other than a show of mercy or worse – a calculated distraction.

"What happened exactly?" she asked, nudging the merc with her foot. He hadn't been dead long, she still had a chance.

"The merc found us and shouted at us to move. We panicked, and he shouted more. I thought he was going to kill us…then…his head just exploded. Telon picked up the merc's gun but we were too afraid to leave. Then you showed up."

"I'm looking for someone, probably the someone that killed this merc."

The Salarian looked at his brother, edging in front of him before replying. "Telon thought he saw someone following us, but he's been a bit….on edge. I haven't seen anyone but the mercs."

This was turning into a complete waste of valuable time. "Is the bridge the only way to the penthouse in the other tower?" she asked, checking the gun she'd taken from him.

"From here? Yeah. It won't be easy. Mercs are patrolling the other side. Whatever Nassana's hiding from must be pretty scary."

"Here, take this and get out of here," Shepard said, handing him the pistol. "The lower levels should be clear but watch out for the security forces, they should be here any minute."

"Of course. Telon, get up. And whoever you are – thank you."

Shepard merely nodded, her attention caught by the tinny sound of a voice somewhere outside. It was coming from a comm terminal, and she couldn't resist answering the increasingly urgent requests for information as she sought to wrest control of the situation back from the assassin.

"I'm sorry, this transmission is breaking up, please identify yourself."

"This is Nassana, you ignorant fuck, now what the hell is going on down there?"

Nassana was still alive, perfect.

"I'm afraid your men aren't able to respond, Nassana."

The transmission ended in a flurry of curses and Shepard took off towards the bridge, forcing herself to move faster.

The bridge yawned wide across the chasm, and it wasn't until Shepard set foot on it that she realised how far up they were, shadows gathering in the darkness below. She stepped back, dipping quickly behind the nearest cover as she fought to quell the sudden sensation of tumbling into darkness.

"Shepard?"

The sound of Garrus' voice pulled her back from the sickening twist of memory, and she forced herself to look over the bridge at the second tower. There were mercs all over the place and further up she caught sight of two rocket turrets that would make their life very difficult. As she trailed the scope across the windows she caught a glimpse of a shadow, a wisp of movement that vanished just as soon as she'd seen it.

"Shepard?" Garrus repeated, crouching at her side. "You've seen the rockets?"

Shepard reluctantly dropped the scope and faced Garrus, her chest still constricted by fear. "We'll deal with those when we get closer, come on."

Practise stilled her nerves, adrenaline cleansing her blood of any lingering doubts as she forced herself forwards over the gaping chasm with every last shred of determination.

They worked in perfect unison, Shepard setting a blistering tempo as she drove them through the mercs and onwards until she reached the silence of the second tower. The back of Shepard's neck prickled uncomfortably as she looked up, seeing once again the shadow at the window.

The shadow didn't fire and Shepard realised with a jolt who it was, her omni-tool pinging as she stared up at the shape. It was a message from Liara.

'Asari security forces are on scene. I suggest getting out of there before it becomes a terrorist incident.'

"We have to move NOW," Shepard cried, ignoring the pain in her legs as she drove her traitorous body onwards.

She burst into the penthouse, her finger twitching on the trigger as she squinted against the bronze rays of the sun to find Nassana and her guards very much alive.

Relief flooded through her only to replaced by the certainty that Krios had made it up there first; he'd been faster than her at every turn and she'd been too slow to do anything. Her rebuilt body had failed her- she'd failed herself - and a hard laugh burst from her throat as the bitter truth sank in.

There was only one thing missing – Krios.

The air was stifling as Shepard stepped forwards towards Nassana and she put her gun away. It was useless now.

"Nassana?"

"Shepard? But you're dead?"

"I was."

"And now you're here to kill me."

"Can I?" Garrus muttered. "It would be faster."

Shepard glanced around the room, her heart thrumming in her chest. Krios was with them somewhere, waiting. If he was playing a game, she had no choice but to play along.

"You really are paranoid, aren't you," she said, her gaze shifting round the room to find the heavily armed guards and the vents above them.

"Don't patronize me Shepard," Nassana growled, pointing at Shepard.

"Charming as ever."

"I'm sure you find this all very ironic. First you take care of my sister, and now you're here for me. Well, you made it this far. Now what?"

"You really think I'm here to kill you? If I was you'd be dead by now," Shepard replied, her omni-tool pinging again. The security forces were on their way up. It wouldn't be long now.

"Do you have another reason for destroying my tower? Decimating my security?" Nassana asked as she paced back and forth at the window.

"Actually, yes. I'm looking for someone."

Nassana scoffed. "You expect me to believe that? Just tell me your price and we can make this problem go away."

"It's too late for that, Nassana. You got yourself into this."

"Who the hell gave you the right to play god? I may not be perfect but look at you," Nassana sneered, gesturing at her. "We both kill people for money, what's the difference?"

Shepard watched her, anger burning bright at the presumption. "You kill people because you think they're beneath you, they're in your way. I kill people because they leave me no choice."

A noise above them spooked the guards and Shepard found she could hardly breathe, her gaze drifting back towards the vent.

"You've got a choice. You don't have to do this. I can tell you…what?" Nassana snapped, glaring at the Asari Commando next to her.

"I heard something."

Nassana gave a long suffering sigh. "Check the other entrances."

She turned back to Shepard. "You…stay put."

Then Thane Krios dropped into the room.


	5. The Measure of an Individual

He moved like something from a half-forgotten dream, a flickering shadow that claimed the lives of Nassana's guards in a few sunlit seconds.

Shepard had been a soldier long enough to see the skill in his movements, the deadly way he wielded his gift for taking life, and despite herself she stepped forwards even as every fibre of her being urged her to run.

If she was to die here, things would be much simpler, for her at least. She heard Garrus at her back, the familiar growl burning low in his chest as he raised his gun at the threat. It seemed a futile gesture against someone like Krios, but the meaning behind it brought everything into focus.

Thane stilled, his hands clasped together in prayer as he stood before the broken form of Nassana, her guards dead at his feet.

"I was hoping to talk to you," Shepard said, unwilling to interrupt but keenly aware of the Asari security force moving closer with every second.

"I apologize, but prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken."

"Do you really think she deserves it?"

"Not for her, for me," Thane said softly, watching her with his dark eyes. He was nothing like she'd expected, this creature of grace and manners.

"The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone. Take you for instance," Thane said, sheathing his gun and prowling slowly towards her, his fingers trailing over the desk. "All this destruction…chaos."

Shepard glanced at the body on the console, well aware of the trail of corpses she'd left behind her.

"I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me. Well…here I am."

"How did you know I was coming at all?" Shepard asked, remembering the sound of breaking glass and regretting the question the moment it left her lips.

"I didn't. Not until you marched in the front door and started shooting," Thane said, moving to her side. "Nassana had become paranoid. You saw the strength of her guard force. She believed one of her sisters would kill her. You were a valuable distraction."

"Let's cut to the chase," Shepard said, glancing at the door. "I need you for a mission."

"Indeed?"

"You're familiar with the Collectors?"

"By reputation," Thane rasped, stalking past her to stare out of the window.

"They're abducting entire human colonies. Freedom's Progress was their handiwork."

"I see."

"We're going after them," Shepard said simply.

Thane turned, surprise evident on his face. "Attacking the Collectors would require passing through the Omega Four relay. No ship has ever returned from doing so."

She knew this, had thought about it as she lay in darkness every night, wondering what the hell she was getting herself into, driven by the reckless urge of hers to keep going no matter what the cost.

"They told me it was impossible to get to Ilos, too."

"A fair point. You've built a career on performing the impossible."

Shepard thought she heard something outside and she stepped to Thane's side, hoping to hurry him along.

Thane dipped his head, his eyelids closing against the sunset. "This was to be my last job. I'm dying. Low survival odds don't concern me. The abduction of your colonists does."

Shock rippled through Shepard, her mouth running away from her. "You're dying? Are you contagious? How long do you have?"

"If you're interested, we can discuss it on your ship. The problem isn't contagious, and it won't affect my work."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Shepard said softly. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Giving me this opportunity is enough," Thane said, dismissing her pity. "The universe is a dark place. I'm trying to make it brighter before I die. Many innocents died today. I wasn't fast enough, and they suffered. I must atone for that."

He turned to Shepard, reaching his hand out to her.

"I will work for you, Shepard. No charge."

She took his hand and shook it, a quaint human gesture that almost made her smile.

"Erm, Shepard?"

"I know," Shepard muttered, glancing at Garrus. "We have to get out of here."

"Ah, we have company?" Thane said, watching Shepard as she called up a map on her omni-tool and stared at it with a frown. There was no way out of here, unless….

"I may have called the Security forces to come and get the injured Salarians. Garrus, get over here."

He did so, looking at Shepard in confusion.

"I need you to help me up into the vent. Kasumi, can you keep an eye on the Asari and tell me what they're doing and where they are? Thane – can you lead us to the cargo elevator?"

"Of course."

He stepped up onto the console and jumped, catching the lip of the vent and pulling himself up in one swift movement.

"Oh no, you're not getting me in there. I'd rather face the Asari than get stuck up in some vent," Garrus complained, watching Kasumi cloak and vanish with a shrug.

"Come on Garrus!" Shepard hissed, scrambling up onto his shoulders and reaching for Thane's outstretched hands. He lifted her easily into the darkness then they both stretched back down for the pissed-off-looking Garrus.

Turians hadn't been designed for squeezing into narrow spaces, and he voiced his displeasure in a series of worsening curses as they hefted him up into the vent, a loud noise sounding somewhere nearby.

Thane didn't hesitate, leading them quickly through the tunnels so that they were out of ear shot before the security force burst in and found the bodies.

Shepard thought she was managing tolerably well at keeping quiet, even with her armour scraping along the inside of the tunnels and the sigh of her breath in the silence. Her only other points of comparison were the silent Drell slipping into shadow before her, and the Turian behind, who was managing to sound like a car crash.

Thane stopped to look back at him, irritation crossing his face.

"Perhaps you could make an attempt at keeping quiet," he hissed, attempting to listen to anything beyond the racket of armour on metal.

"Garrus, wait a second," Shepard whispered, scooting over to him and removing the leg pads that were causing most of the problems. In the silence that followed she heard Kasumi's voice in her comm, informing her that the Asari had found Nassana and were going to investigate the security camera footage.

"Kasumi, can you get there first and wipe it?" she responded, laying a hand on Garrus to stop him from moving.

"Shouldn't be a problem. See you downstairs, Shep."

She let go of Garrus and set off again, scuttling through the darkness and bumping into Thane where he was waiting, staring down through one of the ventilation grills. He raised a hand, finger to his lips, and listened carefully for a second before lifting the grill to one side and dropping through.

"Clear," she heard him whisper. Shepard dangled her legs through the grill then started to lower herself carefully through, dropping straight into Thane's waiting arms.

He softened the impact of her fall, placed her gently on the ground, then turned to look up at Garrus emerging gracelessly from the vent.

He fell into the room and would have knocked Shepard over if it hadn't been for Thane's quick intervention, grabbing hold of his shoulders to help Shepard take the weight of a fully-grown Turian and his armour.

Garrus staggered to his feet then adjusted his collar with a disgruntled click of his mandibles, ignoring Shepard as she shot him a look of annoyance.

"We can take a shortcut to the bridge from here," Thane told them, pacing over to the window where he took out his rifle and examined the bridge for movement.

As she stood at his side, Shepard realised this must have been the window where she'd seen him earlier, and she couldn't help the twist of fear as she looked back out over the way they'd come.

Thane led the way, slipping through shadowed corridors then out onto the bridge where they paused, all three of them scanning the area.

"I'll go first," Thane said, melting in the darkness that fell over them.

"He sure knows how to make an entrance," Garrus grumbled, lowering his scope and looking over at Shepard who was ignoring him, her attention fixed on the other side of the bridge. "Hopefully he knows how to make an exit too."

She caught sight of Thane in the darkness, ignoring the wind threatening to pull her off the side as she thought only of reaching him.

When she finally found herself at his side, she let out the breath she'd been holding, and he gave her a small look of questioning, his dark eyes shining.

"Commander?"

"You don't have to call me that. Shepard is fine; I'm not technically a Commander anymore," she told him, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into her voice.

"As you wish, Shepard. May I ask who you are working for now, if not the Alliance?"

Shepard dropped the scope and stared at him, unwilling to say the word. "Cerberus," she spat eventually, lifting her scope again to cover Garrus.

As soon as he reached them, Shepard opened a comm link to Kasumi, hoping for an update on the Asari's whereabouts.

"Kasumi? What's going on?"

There was no reply. Shepard cursed under her breath, ducking inside and bringing up the map again. The last known position of the Asari was in the penthouse, and it was sensible to assume they'd send a small force to locate the security room in the first tower. It was also likely that they'd beaten the Asari over the bridge.

Shepard found what she was looking for and set off at a sprint, climbing a narrow flight of stairs that led to an access hatch.

Thane grasped her intent immediately and helped her open it, popping the flimsy locks with little difficulty.

"You're not getting me into another vent, Shepard," Garrus complained, watching her suspiciously.

"I'm not," she said, crawling through the hatch into the dark space of the elevator shaft.

There was only the gentle glow of a security light to give her any kind of bearing, the machinery silent above her head, and the elevator a couple of metres below. She shuffled to the lip of the ledge where they'd emerged and gauged the distance to the cable. At least she didn't have far to fall if she messed up.

Shepard reached out her arms and threw herself into the darkness, grabbing tightly onto the cable and sliding down onto the top of the elevator. Thane ignored the cable and sprang lightly down, landing in a cat-like crouch, then straightening to watch Garrus.

Voices drifted through the warm, still air, and Shepard looked up at where Garrus was hesitating on the ledge, knowing that it would be impossible for him to reach them without making some kind of noise.

There was no way she was leaving him behind. Shepard stood up, felt the lift lurch slightly under her feet, and in a bright purple flash she grabbed hold of Garrus with her biotics and snatched him off the ledge, pulling him down towards her. The machinery above them started to move, and Shepard felt the lift drop beneath her, reaching instinctively for the cable.

Thane reached out to steady her, and she dropped Garrus neatly at her side as they started to plunge into the darkness.

It felt like falling, and for a second she had to close her eyes, opening them to see Garrus crouched beside her in the flowing darkness, his bright blue eyes lit by his visor. She wanted to reach a hand out to grab hold of him, to convince herself that she wasn't falling alone this time, but she couldn't make herself move.

Eventually the elevator came to a smooth stop, and they listened intently, the voice of what sounded like two Asari's moving off into the distance. Shepard waited a few moments more then, satisfied they were alone, she opened the roof hatch and risked a glance through.

Everything was quiet. Shepard dropped down and waited until Thane had followed her before peering carefully round the doorway, coming face to face with an Asari Commando.

Without hesitation, Shepard hit her across the face, a punch to the temple that was intended to bring her down without causing too much damage. As she fell, Shepard caught her, dragging her into the lift where she heard the tinny sound of the Asari's comm.

"Vector nine? Can you report? Vector nine?"

There was a pause. Shepard used it to motion furiously at Garrus for him to get a move on, still listening to the comm.

"Vector nine, I am sending a fire team to your location. Please stand by."

The lift doors started to close, and Thane moved to block them, bracing himself against them.

"Kasumi, where are you?" Shepard hissed into her comm, ducking under Thane's leg and staring down the corridor with her pistol raised.

"I'm outside. They've got guards in place round every exit."

"Not every exit. Kasumi, I'm sending co-ordinates to you – meet us there," Shepard ordered, lowering her gun and checking the map. Once she had the correct co-ordinates she sent them to Kasumi, and then Liara. Her friend owed them a little help.

Garrus made it down and Thane allowed him past, tapping him on the arm as he passed. "Hold the doors, if you would."

Shepard caught the bright blue flash of Thane's biotics, and turned to see him punch neatly through the control panel, disabling the lift.

"That should slow them down," Thane said, exiting the elevator and standing beside Shepard.

She glanced up at him, a smile on her lips, before turning and leading the way, slipping through silent corridors until she found the room she was looking for.

It looked out over Illium, a host of lights sparkling now that night had fallen.

Shepard searched around the window whilst Garrus and Thane waited at the door, listening for any sounds of the fire team. There was an indrawn hush. Shepard felt a breeze on her face, and turned to find Kasumi materialising next to her.

"We've got company," Kasumi whispered rapidly. "Six Asari followed me in. They were heading for the elevator."

A low whine filled the air. Shepard raised her pistol, cracking the glass then punching through with her glowing purple fist just as their lift appeared at the window.

A shout sounded down the corridor but Shepard ignored it, climbing onto the windowsill.

"Kasumi, you first. Garrus, Thane, get over here."

The door of the transport opened, and Kasumi sprang over with Garrus following quickly behind.

Thane remained at her side, his gun trained on the dark corridor that was filled with the sound of running feet.

"Go!" Shepard ordered, feeling her barrier crackle as a bullet found her. Thane nodded then leapt over, keeping his sights on the Asari as they burst into the room. Shepard threw herself over, reaching out to grab Garrus' outstretched hand.

The transport banked sharply, and she found herself thrown against the other side, landing hard on Garrus. Thane remained perfectly balanced, his outline dark against the stars as the transport started to gain height.

The door clicked shut and they started to level out, giving Shepard the chance to untangle herself from Garrus and slump in one of the chairs.

"Yeah, that went well," Garrus grumped, adjusting the visor that Shepard had almost knocked off his face.

She shrugged, allowing herself to believe that it had. Thane had been acquired, and they had made it out alive.

"Shepard, I would like to collect my things if possible. Perhaps we could land here?" Thane asked from behind her, his voice thrumming through the small space of the transport.

"Of course," Shepard replied, scrambling over the seats to sit next to the Asari driver. She barely gave Shepard a glance, her face set in a mask of concentration.

"Look, could you set us down here?" Shepard asked, glancing out of the window. They didn't appear to have company yet.

"Sure, I was told to drop you wherever you wanted," the Asari replied, a hint of resentment in her voice.

The transport started to drop, landing in the midst of a large, open square adorned with lanterns.

"Tonight is the Festival of the Lost," the Asari commented, still not looking at Shepard. "I suggest you become just that. The security force won't be happy that they lost you, and if they find out it was me that picked you up, they'll kick me out."

"Give my thanks to Liara. And thank you," Shepard said, climbing out of the transport and raising her hand to shut the door.

"Ha, don't thank me. I was simply paying a debt," the Asari muttered. The door clicked shut, and they stood back as the transport lifted off, the breeze setting the lanterns dancing all around the square.

"Here I must leave you," Thane bowed, tucking his hands behind his back. "Where will I find your ship?"

"We're at docking bay twelve," Shepard told him, dipping her head in response. "And thank you for accepting my offer."

He said nothing, turning and walking away into the crowds.

Garrus and Kasumi set off, but Shepard kept her eyes on Thane, watching as he stopped by the unlit lanterns in the centre of the square and knelt beside them, light flaring between his fingers.

Two of the darkened lanterns flickered into life, and she found herself watching as they were lifted into the air to be hung next to the others, flickering pale blue and purple against the endless black of the sky.

The afterimage of the two lanterns burnt brightly in her vision, and when she looked back, squinting into the darkness, Thane had gone.


	6. Beneath the waves

Thane drifted, shutting out his unfamiliar room on the Normandy and finding himself alone on the tide of his memories once again.

It was back on Kahje that he had first allowed himself to settle into the sleep that numbed him now, watching the waves where his wife had vanished from him only hours before.

They had lowered her body into the water, and he had forced himself to watch as she slipped silently beneath the waves. He had not allowed himself to cry then, the stark grief of her family forcing him to confront the brutal truth. She had been taken from them because of him, because he had not been there when she needed him, because he had let her into his heart in the first place.

For all his complacency and arrogance, his beautiful Irikah had been swept away beneath the waves, leaving her family and his son behind to pay the price. He could hardly blame them for the way they looked at him now, yet he found he could not bring himself to care for their regard.

It was the sight of his son keening for his lost mother that had finally broken him and severed his tether with that world, for how could he face him with that guilt staining his soul without taking measures to exact revenge?

Raindrops ran down his neck and soaked through his clothes as he stood there with only the wind to hold him, blinded by the sea and the tears he could no longer hold back. The sea beckoned him with its cold embrace, but something still remained to be done before he committed his body to the sea and the inscrutable depths of Kalahira. Arashu demanded her due for the blood that had been spilt, and he intended to give it to her.

A hiss, that of the door opening, snatched Thane back to the present moment, the taste of the sea still vivid on his tongue as he half-turned to see Commander Shepard step into the room.

She hung back ever so slightly, and Thane knew straight away why she was there, why she seemed unwilling to approach him. The taint of death tended to have that effect on people, although given Shepard's own death, it seemed somewhat surprising. Of course she would have concerns for her crew, given her limited knowledge of his illness.

"Have a few minutes to talk?"

"Certainly, we haven't had a chance since I joined."

"When we met you said you were dying," Shepard said, still hanging back.

"Yes, I thought you'd want to know more. You don't have to worry about the rest of the crew. My illness is not communicable, even to other Drell. It's called Kepral's Syndrome."

This seemed to reassure her and she approached the desk, unfolding her arms from her chest then sitting down in the empty chair opposite him.

"Is there anything we can do here?" she asked. "The Normandy has a state of the art medical bay."

The gesture was endearing, if useless.

"No, thank you. It's being attended to. If the finest medical minds in the Hanar Illuminated Primacy can't solve the problem, I doubt the ship's medic could. Thank you for your concern. Trust me, this won't affect my performance."

Shepard looked away and nodded, a delicate blush spreading over the pale skin of her face and down her neck.

"I…of course," she managed after a moment, risking another glance back up at him. "What can you tell me about the Hanar? They aren't the easiest creatures to talk to."

"Yes, they are very formal with those they don't know. This makes them difficult to understand for outsiders. The Drell have lived with them for over a century; we have become integrated into their society, and they into ours. I understand this must be difficult to comprehend, especially for humans."

"Why humans?" Shepard asked, leaning forward.

Thane thought for a moment before replying. "As a species, you prize your independence above all things. This would be unthinkable in our society."

"You have a point there," she said wryly, resting her elbows on the desk. "So I have the Hanar all wrong then, being a human."

"What do you know of the Hanar?" Thane asked, clasping his hands together in front of him. He had yet to meet a human with any real understanding of the secretive Hanar.

"Not very much," Shepard confessed. "I do know they have Soul Names. I admit I've always liked the idea of that."

"If you ever get close enough to a Hanar that they tell you their Soul Name you would find them warm."

"Did you?" she asked abruptly, her green eyes staring at him now. There was a dull red gleam settled deep in them, a fiery reminder of her death. "Get close enough, I mean."

"Most of my commissions were for Hanar. I grew close to my regular contacts. Soul names tend to be poetic. A Hanar known for its cynicism might take a name that means 'Illuminates the Folly of the Dancers'"

"And is it true the Drell have their eyes altered so they can understand the Hanar?"

"Yes, many Drell have had their eyes genetically modified to perceive their higher frequency flashes. I had the treatment. I can't tell the difference between dark red and black, but I can see ultra-violet light as a silver colour," Thane admitted.

Shepard studied him, looking at his eyes intently. He was unused to having anyone interested in him beyond work. Her questions pleased him, though he couldn't say why.

"There was something else I wanted to ask you," she said, her eyes flicking away from him. "When you pray for the wicked, who exactly are you praying to?"

This was a question he had not expected.

"That depends on the circumstance. To find my target, I speak with Amonkira, Lord of Hunters. When I act to defend another, Arashu, Goddess of Motherhood and Protection. And when I have taken my target, I speak with Kalahira, Goddess of Oceans and Afterlife," he said, touching his palms together as he said those names.

Shepard frowned, her forehead wrinkling slightly. "I don't understand, why the oceans?"

"Consider, the ocean is full of life, yet it is not life as you and I know it. To survive there we must release our hold on land, accept a new way to live. So it is with the death. The soul must accept its departure from the body. If it can't, it will be lost."

She sat back, her fingers tracing lightly over the strange scars that twined up her arm. "I see. I didn't know the Drell had gods."

"It's one of our older beliefs. Many embrace the Hanar Enkindlers now, or the Asari philosophies. The old ways are dying. There are so many ways to interpret one's place in the universe. Who needs the wisdom of our ancestors? The younger generations don't believe they can help us fathom genetic engineering, orbital strikes or alien races."

"What gods can?" Shepard mused, staring into the distance. "War has nothing to do with gods; we manage that all on our own."

"Commander?" Joker's voice sounded through the intercom, and Shepard's shoulders drooped.

"Not Commander - Captain. What is it?"

"We've got a message coming in, thought you might want to take a look at it."

"I'll be right there," she replied, moving to get up. "Thank you for talking to me, Thane."

"You are welcome, though if I might ask…why do they continue to call you Commander? You are no longer with the Alliance, and neither are they. The ranks do not apply, am I correct?" Thane asked. He had been curious since that moment back on the bridge, the expression on her face registering something he didn't quite understand.

"Correct. But to them, I'm still Commander Shepard, the one they saw in the vids saving the Citadel. But I'm not. Commander Shepard ceased to exist when the Normandy went down."

"I see. They hold onto the memory of you, the one that gives them comfort during these uncertain times. Perhaps it would be wise to let them cling to that, if it helps."

Shepard rubbed her neck, frowning as she got to her feet. "You're probably right. I'd best go."

After she'd gone, Thane found himself thinking about her, about the Commander that her crew still clung to even if she didn't believe in her anymore.

Whether she knew it or not, he already owed Shepard his life. He had never expected to survive his venture into the Dantius Towers, and had no plans beyond getting in there to dispatch his final target. His debts to Arashu had finally been paid and that, as far as he'd foreseen, would be the last thing he did before crossing the sea to be with Irikah. Yet the Gods had seen fit to hold him back for some purpose he had yet to discern, and Shepard was their messenger.

He slipped easily into the memory of the tower, of Shepard standing there watching him with those small human eyes that shone bright in the midst of her pale face.

From all the sound and fury they had made getting in there, and the ferocious pace they'd set him to, the last thing he had expected to find waiting at the end of his journey had been a ghost. For that's what she was.

Two years ago Shepard had died, and the news had been all over the extranet accompanied by vids of the first human Spectre who had taken on Sovereign and saved the Citadel. Thane had given little thought to it then, beyond what it meant for work on the Citadel, should he wish to conduct any. The images of her, young and very serious-looking, had surfaced in his mind as he looked at her there.

She looked older than in the vids, and her face showed a spider web of scars that reached down beneath her suit and out again onto her slender hands, breaking up the bland uniformity of her human skin. Whatever had occurred to bring her back from the dead had not been gentle. She had crossed the sea and returned.

Huddled in the mess hall, Shepard felt curiously comforted, cradled in the centre of the ship with the crew sleeping somewhere nearby. Every time she laid her head on her pillow, the nightmares crowded in, not helped by the ludicrous addition of a skylight above her bed reminding her of the last thing she'd seen before dying. At some point she was going to have to cover that up.

Instead, she sat surrounded by datapads, none of which were helping. Shepard sighed and rubbed eyes, ignoring the exhaustion that was prickling behind them. When she opened them again, Thane was standing before her.

"Shepard."

"Thane." She blinked at him blearily and cleared her throat. "Hello."

"I was about to prepare some food, would you like anything?" he asked, tucking his hands behind his back and bouncing slightly on the heels of his feet.

"I'm fine, thank you."

Thane gave a slight bow and then strode to his locker, collecting ingredients and taking them back to the kitchen where he very efficiently began to chop things up.

Shepard couldn't help but watch him as he moved, his every movement graceful even whilst performing something as mundane as preparing a meal. She could have sworn he was humming as he worked, a low hum that barely registered in her feeble human hearing range. Everything about him fascinated her, from the way he moved to the texture of his skin.

He turned, and Shepard snatched her gaze away, looking back at the endless lists of data that streamed by on the datapad without telling her anything of use. She still had no idea what Tali was looking for on Haestrom or why her team was failing to respond to any of her messages.

Shepard frowned, threw the datapad to one side and pushed her hand through her hair in irritation. Why were her friends always flinging themselves into harm's way when she wasn't there to look after them?

"You are still awake. Is there something troubling you?"

She looked over to where Thane had settled with his meal and found him watching her intently with those large black eyes of his, his food still untouched. There was something about him that invited her confidences, the rich curl of his voice holding her safe.

"My friend Tali is on some kind of mission on Haestrom and there's been no response from her team. We're on our way there now but it could be hours before we reach them, by which time it may be too late," she said softly, leaning forward on both elbows.

Thane mirrored her gesture, steepling his fingers in front of his face as he answered. "The Quarians are well aware of the threat the Geth present. It is unlikely they would have gone unprepared. It is also likely that their communications would be interrupted by the Geth in an attempt to cut them off."

"That's what I'm worried about. I'm not sure a research team can hold off a full frontal attack if the Geth figure out they're there."

"When was their last transmission?" Thane asked.

Shepard picked up one of the datapads and pushed it across the table to him, trying not to look at the plate of food that sat there reminding her of when she'd last eaten. It felt like hours ago.

"Hmm. I see. And you have tried to make contact with them?"

"Yes."

"Good, that will give the Geth something to think about, assuming they intercepted your message," Thane replied, passing the datapad back to her. "I would be happy to accompany you on this mission, Shepard, if you wish."

"Thank you. I'll let you know as soon as we approach Haestrom. Shouldn't be more than twelve hours."

Thane resumed his meal, and Shepard returned to her datapads, rearranging the weapons load out accordingly. Once finished, she fetched herself a couple of energy bars, and they finished eating in silence. It was then that a thought struck Shepard.

"Thane, I'm sorry for what I said earlier about the medbay. It was… stupid" She didn't quite meet his eyes as she said it, feeling herself blush again. Shepard had felt like an idiot as soon as those words were out of her mouth, and his mild retort had made it worse. Of course the medbay couldn't help if the Hanar couldn't. What had she been thinking?

He blinked at her for a few seconds then said softly, "There is no need to apologise Shepard. I appreciate the gesture."

"So, have you worked as part of a crew before?" Shepard asked him, happy to change the subject.

"I confess I have not. You seem to have an interesting selection. Has Cerberus chosen all of us?"

The word made Shepard wince a little before she could stop herself, her thoughts on the organisation quite clear. "Yes. They left the decisions up to me, for what it's worth. I'm not just going to accept whatever they throw at me, not after everything they've done."

"I'm flattered to have caught the attention of Cerberus," he smiled, rising to clear his plate away.

"You and me both," Shepherd muttered, gathering her things together and getting to her feet as Thane gave what sounded like a low laugh. "Goodnight, Thane. I'll have EDI message you as soon as we're approaching Haestrom."

"I'll be ready. Goodnight, Shepard."

Once back in her quarters Shepard had to admit that she felt less anxious, her worries smoothed by Thane's calm reasoning. She couldn't help wondering if all Drell were like Thane, as she undressed and readied her armour for Haestrom.

From the moment he'd dropped into that sunlit room high in Nassana's tower, she'd found it hard to tear her eyes away from him. At first it had been self-preservation, understandably wary of the alien that had killed Nassana and her guard in a matter of seconds. Now it was something else. She found him interesting, unable to stop herself from wondering about his life as an assassin.

Shepard burrowed beneath her covers and pressed her face deeply into them, trying to blot out the sight of Thane as he turned to face her, his dark eyes drinking her in. She could not allow herself the luxury of feelings for this creature.


	7. Falling Star

The shuttle lurched slightly, its engines screaming, as they came in to land on Haestrom.

"Two minutes to touchdown," the pilot announced, rousing Shepard. She'd been consumed by thoughts of Tali, fear and doubt gnawing at her. She couldn't let Tali down when she needed her.

Shepard checked her gun, tested her biotics for a split second, and then looked over at her squad mates to see if they were ready. Garrus looked as unconcerned as ever, giving her a brief nod. Thane looked lost in thought, gazing across the shuttle with unseeing eyes.

There was a heavy jolt as they touched down, then piercing brightness as the door slid open to reveal a world of destruction and decay, crumbling buildings stretching as far as the eye could see. As soon as Shepard stepped out onto the surface, she felt her worries crowd in on her, creeping into her bones and refusing to let go. The air was stifling with heat and dust, the sun beat down mercilessly. Something was very wrong here.

Shepard licked her dry lips, took one last look at the area scans EDI had provided her with, and then set off towards the entrance to the complex. All she could think about was getting in there to find Tali, her focus slipping as she stepped into a patch of direct sunlight.

The effect was instant. Her hard suit alarm started screaming, a harsh noise that she heard every night as the memories of her death took her in their grip. In that second she could only bend to them, reaching out to brush the flames off with shaking hands before they consumed her again.

"Shepard?" Miranda's voice rang out over the comm, cutting through her panic in an instant. "Is everything all right? Your heart rate's gone off the chart."

"I…I'm fine," Shepard burst out, catching sight of Thane and Garrus watching her. She couldn't fall apart now, not when Tali needed her. They all needed her, relied upon her, and she was finding it harder than ever to keep up the facade.

"Come on," she ordered, wiping sweat from her forehead as she led them towards the gate house. A voice hung in the warm air and Shepard followed it, finding a dead quarian lying beside a console.

"Emergency log entry: The geth are here. I've stayed to buy the others time. Anyone who gets this, find Tali'Zorah. She and the data are all that matters. Keelah se'lai."

Shepard shut the message off and started looking for the gate control panel, doing her best to ignore the corpse that lay splayed on the floor.

Thane showed no such concern, crouching beside the quarian and turning him over to reveal well-targeted gunshot wounds that had punched through his environment suit – definitely the work of the geth.

"He hasn't been dead long. I'd say no more than an hour or two," Thane observed, laying the body back down and murmuring what sounded like another one of his prayers.

"I still don't get why this data is worth dying for," Garrus said, watching them from the doorway.

"I have no idea, but I do know that Tali wouldn't be here if it wasn't important," Shepard muttered, finding what looked like the correct panel and pressing the door release button. The door opened with a metallic screech and the vibration ran through the ground beneath their feet, shaking dust into the air.

Garrus took his gun out. "Was there a doorbell we could ring?"

There was no way they were getting in there unnoticed, and once again Shepard found herself cursing her inability to sneak anywhere, risking a glance at the silent drell who was readying his weapons. At least they could draw fire from Tali, it seemed to be all she was good at now – drawing fire.

Shepard brought her barriers up as she left the room, ducking down into cover next to the open gate. She barely had time to process what she saw before bullets started raining down on their position, forcing them to hide in the shadows.

There were geth everywhere, from the tell-tale shimmer of hunters to the hulking form of the Primes, and they all stood right in their way. Once she would have charged in there, but now she found herself rooted to the spot, fumbling for the courage that seemed to have deserted her.

"There's a drop ship coming in!" Garrus yelled, taking aim and firing.

'She and the data are all that matters,' the quarian had said. He had laid down his life to buy them time.

Shepard sucked in her breath, took her pistol out and glanced over at Garrus and Thane. Neither of them had hesitated for an instant, and no matter what happened, she knew Garrus would be there beside her to back her up, even if he was watching her fail.

Biotics crackling, she threw the geth closest to her and charged across the battlefield, hitting a trooper with Reave then scrambling into cover as a rocket hit her position. She took her sniper rifle out, and then peered carefully around the crate only to see the rocket trooper dispatched in a bright blue flash. Thane.

Taking her chance to move, she sprinted to a shaded platform that offered her some respite from the sun, and a better view of the approaching geth.

Thane was at her side in an instant, covering the area to their right as she and Garrus laid into a Prime that had made the mistake of targeting them. The moment it went down, Shepard popped her heatsink and looked over at Thane, bullets still pelting them from the other side of the rubble-strewn yard. He caught her eye for a split second then they broke cover simultaneously, moving together as they ploughed through the oncoming enemies.

She had to admit that she'd had her reservations about Thane before the mission. He'd been on his own for so long, and it was unlikely that he'd ever served as part of a team such as theirs, that she didn't know how he would react once on the battlefield.

He surpassed her expectations again. Thane fitted in as though he had always fought at her side, allowing her to charge forwards and scatter their enemies before he made short work of finishing them off. Her skill and power were unsurpassed on the field of battle, but he brought something else to it. He lent her a deadly grace, honing her skills to the point of the finest blade.

He anticipated each threat quickly and acted on it even quicker, following Shepard's lead but setting a pace of his own. They acted as one, each covering the other as they laid waste to all before them.

With Garrus covering their back they were unstoppable, and – for the first time since waking, frightened and alone – Shepard felt unalloyed joy surge through her, a lust for battle that had slumbered for too long. There at Thane's side she no longer felt afraid.

Prior to the mission Thane had been unable to avoid his doubts, his reservations, about how he could best aid Shepard. He had accepted her offer, and knew that once he gave his word he would see it through to whatever end.

But he was also realistic enough to know that he had only rarely worked with others, and certainly not in a military setting as Shepard had. She was master of the battlefield and he was master of the kill. Full scale battle was completely different from the silent death he dealt.

His training had taught him one valuable lesson that he could apply here. Adaptability. Circumstances could change within a split second, and he dealt with that instinctively after years of practise. He could surely adapt to Shepard's way of doing things.

He had watched her gather herself under the harsh light of Haestrom, saw her shift from one state of being into another as she threw herself into the fight, and he had acted without thought.

She had used sheer power to decimate her enemies, either through superior tactics or her own strength. When she turned her attention to an enemy, it stood little chance of surviving the onslaught, and he saw clearly where his place was.

Striking where she couldn't reach, finishing those she left behind, and backing her up as she charged onwards.

They ploughed through obstacle after obstacle to reach the bunker overlooking where her friend Tali was, and she never faltered, kept moving forwards even as the odds stacked up against her.

Now they were faced by a Colossus, and as Shepard knelt down beside the quarian captain, a look of concern on her face, he saw exactly why she remained the crew's Commander.

"Kal'Reegar? How are you holding up?" she asked, putting her pistol away and bringing up her omni-tool to scan him.

"One of the bastards punched a hole clean through my suit, my combat seals clamped down to isolate contamination, and I'm swimming in anti-biotics. The geth might get me, but I'm not going to die from an infection in the middle of battle. That's just insulting."

Thane saw Shepard frown slightly at the omni-tool read out, her eyes flickering over the obvious breach in Kal's suit.

"I'm not going to let the geth get you, Captain. Tali would never forgive me." Shepard gave Kal a brief smile, flinching as the Colossus hurled another rocket at them. "And you're sure Tali's safe?"

Kal shifted before speaking again, his discomfort obvious. "She's through that door over there. The geth killed the rest of my squad and they're trying to get to her. Best I've been able to do is draw their attention."

What the quarian lacked in hardiness he made up for with courage. Even injured he had remained in position, fighting to defend Tali even after the rest of his squad had been killed.

"Don't worry, that's what we're here for. Once we go in I need you covering our back. If anything gets in here behind us we don't stand a chance, and we're all Tali's got left."

"Understood. What are you gonna do? That damn repair protocol is making life difficult. Whatever you're gonna do, you need to do it fast."

Shepard frowned, her lips moving as she stared into the distance. She glanced at Garrus then Thane, suddenly clenching her fist in front of her.

"I've got an idea. Garrus, Thane." She scooted over next to them and raised her voice to make herself heard over the cacophony of gunfire that was concentrated on their position. "Take out what you can from here then move up the left side. I need you to draw its fire until I can get there, understood?"

They nodded and Shepard moved back to Kal'Reegar, touching him on the shoulder. "Keelah se'lai, Reegar."

"Keelah se'lai. Say hi to Tali for me."

Shepard took off at full pelt, vanishing across onto the opposite walkway and out of sight in a matter of seconds.

Thane and Garrus turned their attention to the geth, sniping at whatever was visible before starting down the left hand side as ordered. The left path shielded them from the Colossus, but left them at the mercy of the geth, making their progress forwards painfully slow.

Once they managed to reach the stairway leading up to the Colossus, Thane took a forward position, whilst Garrus stayed back to pick off anything following them. This made Thane the target of the Colossus' renewed assault.

He could not help but question Shepard's tactics as he crouched behind the boxes, completely pinned, unable to do anything against the geth that were starting to swarm at them from behind the Colossus. Shepard had given them precious little assistance since leaving them, and the thought that something had happened to her crossed his mind just as something above the Colossus caught his eye.

A moving shadow dropped from the tower on the other side, blazing from blackness to a searing light that streaked down onto the Colossus' head like a falling star, the head exploding in a haze of purple biotics. Shepard. She fell to the ground beside the smoking ruin of the Colossus and lay still.

Thane leapt towards her without hesitation, blasting geth aside as they swarmed towards her. He lifted a trooper and slammed it against the wall, pausing only to execute another geth with a spinning kick. It fell before him and he punched it in the head, his glowing blue fist making short work of its armour.

He caught a glimpse of Shepard moving and saw a rocket trooper lifted above him, giving him a chance to bring it down with a couple of shots.

"Shepard?"

Thane reached her side, crouching beside her.

"I'm fine, just winded," she said quietly, wincing as she tried to sit up.

Thane offered her his hand, lifting her with ease. She was dirty, burnt, bleeding, and wearing a smile that lit up her entire face.

"What the hell did you do to that thing?" Garrus asked as he ambled slowly over to them, kicking a piece of the Colossus a couple of metres across the yard. "Did you just punch it to death?"

"Now you show up. Could have done with you a second ago," Shepard said mockingly, a wry smile on her face. "Lucky for me Thane was here."

"I'm sorry, should I leave you two to it? Seeing as you were managing so well," Garrus said, looking pointedly at Shepard's bleeding face.

Shepard went to wipe it away and grimaced at her hand, examining it for a moment before swopping her pistol to her left hand and moving off. "Let's go get Tali."

"That was impressive," Thane conceded, falling into step beside her.

"Thank you," Shepard croaked. She walked stiffly towards the door, touching her finger to her ear as she used her comm to contact Tali.

"Tali, do you think you could let us in?"

"Of course, Shepard. I'm unlocking the door now."

The door opened in front of them, and Shepard led the way, shuffling slowly into the darkness and up the slope.

"Just let me finish this download," Tali called as they approached, not even turning. "Thank you, Shepard. If not for you, I would never have made it out of this room."

She finished tapping buttons and stepped away from the console, walking slowly up to Shepard. "This whole mission has been a disaster. I wish I'd joined you back on Freedom's Progress, but I couldn't let anyone take my place on something this risky."

"What were you looking for?" Shepard asked. "To come all this way out into geth controlled space, it must have been something worth the risk."

"I'd ask the same of you, but now you're with Cerberus anything can happen. You could have started another war."

"You know I'd start a war for any of you," Shepard said, hugging Tali carefully.

"And you can be damn sure she'd finish it too," Garrus added, stepping forwards.

Thane saw Shepard smile at her friend, the exhaustion vanishing from her face as she looked up at him. They were so obviously a team, forged in the heat of many battles, that it made him feel curiously left out.

"I don't know if it was worth the risk, Shepard," Tali continued, her shoulders slumping. "It wasn't my call. The Admiralty Board believed the information here was worth sacrificing all our lives for. I have to believe they know what's best."

"With all due respect, I don't care what the Admiralty Board believes – I want to know what you think," Shepard asked, flexing her hand in front of her.

"A lot of people died here. Some of them were my friends. All of them were good at their jobs. That damn data better be worth it. The price was too high."

"What exactly were you looking for?"

Tali used her omni-tool to bring up an image, a flickering orange orb that lit the room. "Haestrom's sun is destabilizing. Back when this was a quarian colony, it was a normal star. It shouldn't change that quickly."

"What's destabilizing it?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say that it was dark energy affecting the interior of the star. The effect is similar to when stars blow off mass to enter a red giant phase, but Haestrom's sun is far too young for this to be natural."

"I don't understand why the Admiralty Board would be so interested in this," Shepard murmured. "Look, if you're done here how about joining me on the Normandy? I could use some help."

"Just let me transmit the data from a secure channel. Then I can leave with you. And if the Admirals have a problem with it, they can go to hell. I just watched the rest of my team die."

Thane heard footsteps and turned, pleasantly surprised to see that the quarian captain had survived long enough to join them.

"Maybe not the whole rest of your team, ma'am," he said, limping over. "Your old captain's as good as you said. Damn Colossus never stood a chance."

"How are you holding up?" Shepard asked him. "We can give you a lift if you need it."

"I'm going with Shepard," Tali told him, touching her arm gently to Kal's. "Will you make sure the Admiralty Board gets the information?"

"Sure thing, Ma'am. And Shepard, keep her safe. She's all yours now."

Shepard nodded, stepping outside to contact the _Normandy_. They accompanied Kal back to his transport then waited for the shuttle to arrive, loitering in the shadows around the yard.

It was deathly still, and Thane couldn't help feeling disquieted by the unnatural silence of the dying planet. It felt like a warning, some silent message whose meaning they had yet to grasp.

He was relieved when the shuttle finally arrived and they were able to close the door on the planet, settling himself down next to the Shepard.

Tali, Garrus, and Shepard obviously went back a long way. They sat sharing stories, laughing about things that had happened back on the original Normandy, and he couldn't help feeling like an interloper. Thane folded himself back into the shadows and listened to their tales, lulled by the friendly atmosphere they created. He hadn't had friends in many years.

"I don't mean to be rude, but may I ask who this is?" Tali questioned, turning her mask towards Thane. "If we're going to be serving together I'd like to know who I'm talking to."

"This is Thane Krios," Garrus told her, looking at him. "He's an assassin."

"We're working with assassins now? Things must be worse than I thought," Tali replied, folding her arms and sitting back.

"I wouldn't piss him off if I were you," Shepard said, smiling at Thane. "He's the best assassin in the galaxy, and he saved my life back there. Thank you, Thane."

Thane dipped his head in response.

"First mission out, and he's already had to pull Shepard's ass out of the fire," Garrus said, shaking his head. "Welcome to the crew, Krios."

"I'll bet you haven't heard about what she got into on the Citadel," Tali laughed. "Garrus had to pull a few favours with C-sec to get her out of that one!"

Shepard groaned, looking away from Thane. "Please don't tell him that one," she pleaded, rubbing her right hand gently. "I'm not sure anybody needs to hear this one again."

"I admit I have heard very little about Shepard's exploits. It would be useful to know more about the person sending me into battle," Thane said, leaning forwards to join the conversation at last.

The mess hall was noisier than usual with the addition of Tali, and Shepard couldn't help glancing at the door. She was exhausted and aching, her hand throbbing despite the pain relief that Chakwas had given her.

Thane had excused himself and gone to his room, sensibly avoiding the increasingly raucous meal. Shepard would have done the same, but she had to replace the calories drained by her heavy biotic usage, and that meant sitting in the mess hall with everyone else.

"You know it's all your own fault, showing off like that."

Shepard looked up at Garrus, fumbling noodles into her mouth with her left hand.

"Showing off?" asked Tali, nudging Shepard's leg with hers. "Why, what did she do this time?"

"You should have seen what she did to that Colossus."

Garrus launched into a description of her falling on its head, and she couldn't help noticing the look on Miranda's face, a calculating expression that she usually reserved for Shepard's numerous medical checks.

Shepard remembered the moment she'd jumped onto the Colossus, the air still as she waited for the moment to strike. She'd been able to see almost everything from up there, Garrus picking off stragglers that had followed them up and the cover that was presumably shielding Thane.

She'd got the idea from watching Thane deal with the geth, his blue fist smashing them down. One well-placed punch to the Colossus' control centre and its self-repair system would be disabled. The reality had been rather more spectacular, and her hand was a testament to that.

"Miranda, I think we need a chat about my biotics. First thing tomorrow," Shepard said huskily, getting slowly to her feet.

"Of course, Commander."

Shepard reined in her irritation at the name and started back to her room, opening her hand in front of her. Cerberus had a lot left to explain.


	8. Weightless

Shepard glanced around the office, irritation threatening to sweep her away as she listened to Miranda. She'd gone there hoping for some explanation about her biotics after the events in Haestrom, her bruised hand a painful reminder that something was amiss.

"Look, Shepard. We had no choice but to replace your amp and your implant when we were rebuilding you. You don't honestly think we could reuse the old ones after what they were subjected to, do you?" Miranda asked, leaning back in her chair.

"Replacing them isn't the issue—it's what you replaced them with," Shepard said, taking a deep breath. "How do I know you haven't replaced them with something dangerous?"

"You don't," Miranda said flatly. "But it's hardly likely that we'd do anything that would affect your ability to do your job. That's the whole reason we brought you back."

Back from the dead. She owed them her life, and that knowledge felt like a noose around her neck. "You brought me back for your own reasons. It had nothing to do with me," Shepard muttered, picking at the Cerberus logo on her top.

"Shepard, like it or not, everything you've done has furthered our agenda. Everything Cerberus, and you, have done is for the good of the human race, and you can't deny that. We have a common goal—stopping the Reapers."

"So why won't you show me the schematics? You won't show me what you've done to me?" Shepard said, her fists clenched as she leant towards Miranda.

Miranda stared at her for a moment, considering her carefully. She opened her mouth as if to say something then looked away, staring at her screen. "And why the hell should we do that? You've made no secret of how you feel about Cerberus, and until you trust us, I'm damn well not trusting you. You do your job, and I'll do mine."

"So that's it? I'm supposed to shut up and get on with it? This is exactly what I expected from Cerberus, and from you," Shepard snapped, getting to her feet.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"What does it matter? You do your job and I'll do mine."

Shepard headed straight for the shuttle bay, her biotics charging before she'd even got in the door. Power surged through every nerve, and Shepard threw herself at the nearest stack of boxes, obliterating the first one with her initial charge.

There was a time when her powers had been finely tuned. She had known the limits of what she could do and how far she could go. Now even that had been taken away from her, leaving her with uncertainty and the fear that she had become what she hated.

A puppet of Cerberus, theirs for the bidding.

She lifted another box and threw it across the room, staring down at her hands as the thought struck her.

The implant itself was embedded in her brain. That left the amp connected to it, a hard nodule sitting at the base of her skull. It was easy enough to find.

Shepard took the pen knife from her pocket, used her left hand to locate the small socket, and closed her eyes as she dug the knife tip into her own flesh.

There was a pulling sensation. A buzz in her brain. Then the amp come away.

The difference was immediate. Her power surged through her fingertips unchecked, leaving her lightheaded as she got carefully to her feet and examined the bloody clump of metal. The Cerberus logo was clearly recognizable beneath the gore.

She'd only tried this once, back at the Academy, and that was with supervision. If she could master this now then perhaps she wasn't entirely their creature.

Shepard closed her eyes and felt the power jump up behind her eyelids, purple sparks creeping into the edge of her vision. Without another thought she opened her eyes and jumped, throwing herself across the room at the last stack of boxes.

The noise rang hollow through the air, and Thane immediately identified it as an impact.

There was a short silence then another boom, this one loud enough to shake the floor beneath his feet.

"EDI? Are we under attack?"

"No, Sere Krios. The source of the noise is Commander Shepard. She is still located in the shuttle bay."

Thane quickened his pace, reaching the door and pausing only to bring his barrier up. When the door slid open the scene that greeted him was one of complete devastation. Boxes and equipment lay strewn around the floor, and in the midst of it all stood a flickering purple figure.

She turned, and Thane had to catch his breath.

It was Shepard, ringed in a shifting halo of purple light that twisted out from around her in glittering tendrils. She walked with her arms outstretched, brilliant wings of energy holding her above the dullness of her surroundings.

"Thane…I can't…"

Her voice shimmered with pain, and Thane understood instantly. "EDI, get Garrus down here now," he ordered, walking towards Shepard with his hands outstretched. "Shepard, give me your hands."

She watched him with unseeing eyes, blood trickling from her nose, and he wondered if it had already gone too far.

"Shepard, move!" he ordered, and this time she responded. He closed the distance between them in seconds, reaching out to take her outstretched hands.

Their barriers touched, and the power surged through him, threatening to engulf him. He only had one chance.

He felt the pulse of her power beneath his fingertips, then the answering call of his own. There was a blue flash and Shepard jolted, her body crumpling forwards as the flickering aura of her wings started to collapse over them.

The light streamed downwards, and Thane felt the weight of her folding into his arms. Her biotics guttered out into nothing, leaving him blinking away the bright afterimage of her wings.

"Shepard?"

She groaned and twisted herself away from him, sinking to the floor with her head in her hands.

"Shepard? Spirits..." Garrus ran up, wrenching Thane away from her. He stared at them both, towering over the drell who simply stared back. "What the hell did you do to her?"

"Stop it," Shepard said thickly, looking up at them. Blood was streaming down her face, and her eyes were bloodshot, struggling to focus. "I did this. I took my amp out."

Garrus clicked his mandibles, evidently struggling to understand. "I think we need to get Miranda down here," he muttered, and the effect was instant.

"No," Shepard said, clambering slowly to her feet and wiping the blood ineffectually with the back of her hand. "If you bring Miranda down here, I can guarantee you things will get much worse. Don't you dare, Garrus."

"Perhaps Mordin would be better able to deal with this," Thane suggested, watching the two of them bristle at each other.

Shepard looked at him, swaying slightly on her feet. "Mordin. Okay."

Thane followed her into the elevator, stopping only to scoop up the small tangle of bloody wires from where she'd thrown it.

Nobody spoke as the elevator carried them upwards, and Thane couldn't help noticing the blood that was trickling slowly down the skin of her neck, soaking the back of her white vest.

His own hands bore red smears from the seemingly innocuous object that he carried – the object she had ripped out of her own flesh.

Mordin looked up in confusion as the three of them entered but reacted at speed, drawn by the sight of the stumbling and bloody Shepard.

"Shepard? Here, sit down."

He pulled out a chair and examined her quickly before turning his attention to the object in Thane's hands.

"Ah, removed amp manually. Very dangerous. Can cause brain damage, even death," Mordin said, lifting Shepard's sodden hair to find the source of the bleeding. He examined it for a second then went to fetch a scanner that he started to wave over her head, muttering under his breath at the display.

"Look, Mordin, could you look at it for me? I'd like to know more about it, if possible," Shepard asked blearily, shutting her eyes and slumping forwards in the chair.

"Scans likely to show very little. Would need specialized scanning equipment to check programming. Test parameters. _Normandy_ does not have required equipment. Without it, nothing," Mordin said, turning away to hook the scanner up to his computer. "No long term damage. Should be able to repair what damage you have done."

"Nothing," Shepard repeated. "Damn it."

"There is another way," Thane said, and everyone turned to look at him.

"And what's that?" Garrus asked, standing beside Shepard with his arms crossed.

"During my training I performed a number of tests that explored the limits of my capabilities. It would be easy to replicate them here," Thane explained, watching Shepard as she lifted her head slowly and tried to focus on him. "The amount of power granted by your implant varies greatly from individual to individual. I was taught how to harness that power, but first you have to unleash it, to find the limits of your strength and use it accordingly."

"What would these tests involve?" Shepard asked as Mordin shoved a needle into her arm. She didn't seem to notice.

"The tests vary in difficulty, from lifting boxes to creating large force fields, though I would understand if you wished to leave out the more advanced tests. They would demonstrate exactly what you are capable of."

"Suggest leaving tests for at least four days, given the damage you've sustained. Will look into methods of examining implants. Could always use more test equipment," Mordin said. "Will reattach this for you."

"Thanks," Shepard whispered. "And thank you, Thane. I'd like to do these tests. Oh, you came to see me. Was there something you needed?"

"Yes, Miss Chambers said you wished to speak with me."

She frowned then looked intently at him. "Of course, I wanted to know if there was anything you needed. Ammo, medicines…."

Even bloodied and broken she still showed concern and compassion for her crew members. It made him feel uncomfortable.

"No, thank you, Shepard. If I have need of anything, I will be sure to ask."

"Ah yes, Keprals. Would be happy to talk anything over, if you have concerns," Mordin said, humming quietly to himself as he laid the amp out in a dish and checked the connections. "Have contacts in the Illuminated Primacy involved in the search for effective treatment, should you have any questions."

"I will bear that in mind. Thank you, Doctor," Thane responded smoothly, unwilling to say another word about his illness to a medical professional. He had heard enough on the subject, had dwelt with the knowledge of his impending death for years, and nothing could change the acceptance that he had reached. There would be no cure for him; all that was left was to atone for his sins. He looked back at Shepard, her head starting to sink forwards. "If that is all, Shepard."

She gave the tiniest of nods, her eyes rolling shut.

Thane left the room, his eyes still burning at the sight of her, winged and weightless as some legend of old.

Garrus waited until the door was shut before breaking, his panic getting the better of him. When he'd seen her crouched before the assassin, blood streaming down her face, he had been seized by the urge to kill the drell right there.

Now he was having to reassess the situation, and fast.

"Spirits, Shepard, what is going on with you?" Garrus snapped, unfazed by her pale face and closed eyes. He'd seen her much worse and still picked a fight.

"I don't know. I thought…I thought if I could just… Garrus, what am I doing? If Thane hadn't stopped me..."

He looked at her, battered and bruised. She was lost, and he hadn't even realised.

"This is all about Cerberus isn't it?" Garrus said softly, crouching down next to her. "Whatever they've done to you, Shepard, I know you can still do this. And once we've beaten the Collectors, we take the _Normandy_ and go back to the Alliance. Show them we were right after all."

"I wouldn't say that here," Shepard muttered.

Garrus glanced up at Mordin who was working on the back of Shepard's neck, his hands moving with surprising delicacy. "Have no allegiance to Cerberus," Mordin responded. "Only Shepard."

"I don't mean Mordin. They've got surveillance bugs everywhere, I've been trying to find them all and get rid of them," Shepard whispered, wincing as Mordin clicked the amp back into place. "Fast as I get rid of them they get replaced."

Things weren't going to be as simple as he thought. They never were.

"Then we discuss this off the ship. Where are we next?"

"Omega. Got some engine parts to pick up on the way to Illium."

"Ah, there could be a problem."

"No shit, Archangel."

Beneath the blood Shepard managed a smile, her hand reaching out for his. "We get through this and we'll work the rest out later, okay? Just…don't go anywhere."

"Hell, Shepard, it's not like I've got anywhere else to go. May as well stay here and keep you out of trouble."

"Thanks. You can get right to that as soon as we leave Omega."

Garrus squeezed her hand, looking at the bruised knuckles and the smooth skin that used to be decorated with battle scars. That was until Cerberus had rebuilt her.

"New and improved, huh?" he asked, looking up at Shepard. Her eyes were closed, and he could tell from her breathing that she'd fallen asleep even as Mordin patched her ragged flesh back together.

He kept hold of her hand, and stayed.


	9. Impure Thoughts

The salarian's hands were cool against the warm skin of her neck, lifting her hair and poking gently at the scabs left behind from where she'd ripped her amp out.

"Much improved, would recommend complete rest from biotics," Mordin said, patting her on the shoulder and going back to his work station.

"I can probably manage that. We're only visiting Omega to pick up supplies," Shepard said, getting slowly to her feet and stretching her hands up above her head.

She'd been cooped up for days recovering, and it was making her restless. It turned out that she used her biotics for more than she'd anticipated, and after her second trip to see Mordin in twenty-four hours she'd been confined to med-bay with Chakwas watching over her. All she'd done was try to lift a datapad over to her desk.

"Mordin, I meant to ask if there's anything you need while I'm there?" she queried, rubbing at her hand absentmindedly.

Mordin looked down at his screen then back at her. "Would rather avoid supplies from Omega if possible. Have another question, though. The Krogan."

"The Krogan?" Shepard repeated. "What about it?"

"Wondered why you haven't woken him yet. Could be an interesting addition to your crew. Also interesting from a scientific viewpoint. Pure Krogan, designed specifically to beat the Genophage – the implications are remarkable."

The Krogan had sat unopened since Shepard had collected him, and she had given little thought to it, preoccupied with countless other things. Krogan were volatile at the best of times, though she had worked with them successfully in the past. She tried to imagine what Wrex would say about her keeping one of his own trapped in a glass tank.

"I didn't know you were interested in them," she said, heading towards the door.

"Interested in anything that gives us greater understanding of the Krogan. Fascinating species, would like the opportunity to work with them again," Mordin told her, glancing away.

"I'll think about it. But he wouldn't be a science experiment, he'd be a crew member," Shepard told him, unable to stop herself from thinking about Miranda, and the way she'd treated her. The two of them had steered clear of each other since the incident in the cargo bay, and Shepard had a feeling Miranda had heard every word she'd said about her. "Thanks for patching me up, Mordin. I'll see you when I get back."

The thought of going to Omega filled her with a curious mix of emotions. She was looking forward to getting off the Normandy and back into action, but she was also well aware that Omega was a pit.

She found Garrus waiting for her at the docking bay door, and she couldn't help but notice the tension written in every line of his body. He'd fussed over her constantly while she was resting, to the point where Chakwas had to order him out.

"Damn it, Shepard. I should be going with you."

"You know it isn't a good idea. 'Archangel'… Who the hell came up with that?"

Garrus looked awkward, scuffing at the floor. "Just some of the people on Omega. You know I wouldn't have come up with something like that."

"That I believe," Shepard said irritably, looking at the door. "Where the hell are they?"

"You're taking Thane with you, right?" Garrus asked. "If anyone can deal with Omega, it's him. Not that I don't trust you, of course."

"Of course. And no, Thane didn't want to."

Shepard waited for the question, noticed the disapproving drop of his brow and the twitch of his mandibles. But he said nothing.

"I'm taking Kasumi and Jack instead."

"Jack? You sure that's a good idea?"

"Not really," Shepard admitted, watching the door open to admit Kasumi. "But my biotics are out of action, and she has some skill in that area. Anyway, all we're going in there to do is pick up supplies. Nothing more, nothing less."

Jack finally arrived, ignoring Garrus completely and leaning against the door.

"Right. You do know this is Omega," Garrus muttered.

"I know that," Shepard said, heading out of the door. "But I can hope."

She acted as Krantt for the Patriarch, dealt with Aria, and beat up a couple of mercs. Shepard loved every second of it, glad of the chance to forget everything and lose herself in the thrill of the fight. Her body reacted less kindly.

Even under the hot water of the shower, every inch of her ached from her period of inaction. Shepard had to admit that she needed to get back into training before she injured herself through lack of fitness. The thought of losing a battle due to a torn muscle, or getting out of breath, was embarrassing.

There was also that stupid comment that Aria had made. Shepard quickly shut it down, closing her eyes as the water rolled over her. She was going to have to do some stretches before bed, but first she needed to replenish her energy.

She finished in the shower, decided not to risk touching her hair, then headed down to the mess hall in search of food.

The hall was all but deserted, and the two Cerberus personnel who had been in there left fairly quickly the moment they spotted her. The Great Commander Shepard.

She hadn't bothered to get to know the crew yet, and to be honest she'd had no intention of doing so. They were all Cerberus, but then again so was she.

Shepard took a peppermint tea bag out of her locker and checked the boiler, pressing a few buttons to bring it up to the right temperature.

Everything was sore – her arms and legs, and especially her back. After a quick glance around the room to check that it was still empty, she began to do some stretches; her body leant back in a graceful arc as she heard a door open.

The sound made her snap straight, and in an instant she felt the pain sear through her back. She curled over and leaned against the kitchen top as her back went into a spasm.

"Shepard?"

She heard Thane's voice, but before she could say anything his hands were sweeping the wet hair from her neck and working across the tender muscles of her back, his warm skin moving over hers.

"Don't move," he instructed, hands drifting lower.

His skin was warmer than she'd expected, his callouses rasping against her skin. Those hands guided people out of the world. They were the last sensation before death, and now they were moving back up towards her neck, curving over her flesh to offer her relief.

Aria's comment drifted back into her mind.

_You should find a nice young man to keep you warm at night._

She felt the sweet tug of lust stirring in the body that was still a stranger to her, and couldn't help but lean into his hands.

Nobody had touched her like this in years, not as a science experiment but as a lover. But this was Thane. It had to stop.

"Thane…"

He removed his hands, and Shepard turned to him, his eyes fluttering as he looked at her.

She knew she was blushing, knew she had to find something to say. But standing there so close to Thane with his dark eyes watching her so intently, all sense fled, leaving her stuttering and useless.

"Thane, I…that's…"

She heard the sound of another door opening, and the sharp click of heels told her it was Miranda, the drum of her feet sounding a warning.

Shepard turned to face her, happy to be distracted despite the nagging sense of disappointment that welled in her.

"You had no bloody right to release the Krogan, especially without consulting me or Jacob," Miranda yelled, stopping in front of Shepard and staring her in the face. "Do you have any idea how dangerous Krogan are? And a new born Krogan? What the hell were you thinking?"

"What I was thinking was that Grunt would be a good asset to my team – a team you're supposed to be on. And yes, I know exactly how dangerous Krogan are," Shepard said calmly, rubbing her at neck. She'd expected nothing less than this overprotective bullshit from Miranda.

"Grunt? He has a name now? And I suppose we're going to be playing nursemaid to Grunt. I mean he's, what, a few hours old? This wasn't part of the plan, Shepard."

Shepard leant back against the kitchen top and folded her arms, watching Miranda as she paced angrily in front of them. "If we have to play nursemaid for a while, so be it, though I really doubt we'll need to. Have you actually spoken to him yet?"

Miranda sputtered, enraged now. "No, and that's not the point. You should have consulted me before waking him up. We could at least have been prepared for him in case—"

"In case what, Miranda?" interrupted Shepard, her irritation rushing back. "I handled it fine on my own. Now, do you have any other concerns beyond what didn't happen?"

"Actually yes," Miranda said, gesturing furiously at her. "Do you have any idea of the time and resources Cerberus spent on you only for you to ignore everything I say?"

Shepard looked up at her, deadly calm.

"When Cerberus has something worth paying attention to, I'll listen. Until then, I have no idea what your issue is with me, but let's get something straight right now. This is _my_ mission and we're going to do this _my_ way, is that clear?"

Miranda opened her mouth to argue but Shepard stepped forward, getting as close as she dared. "You do your job, Miranda, and I'll do mine."

Miranda stared back at her for a second then backed off, glancing at Thane. "Fine," she answered stiffly, turning her back on them and striding out of the room.

Shepard waited until the door shut before launching into a litany of curses, slamming her cup down on the top with such force that the handle snapped off.

Thane merely reached into the cupboard and handed her a new one, collecting one for himself at the same time.

"I was unaware we had a Krogan on board," Thane said, breaking the silence. "Though, perhaps I should have guessed."

Shepard plucked at the neck of her top, pulling the loose fabric up over the fresh necklace of bruises that Grunt had left her with. Maybe facing him without biotics had been foolish, but once Mordin had put the idea into her head, she'd found it difficult to think of a reason not to.

"When I found Grunt, he was still in a tank. His creator died back on Korlus and left him for me to protect. I wasn't going to wake him up, but…"

"Something changed your mind?" Thane asked, filling his cup with hot water then watching the steam rise.

"It didn't seem fair to keep him in there any longer. Grunt will be fine," Shepard said, rubbing her collarbone. "And if he isn't, I'll just have to deal with it."

Thane made what sounded like a hum of agreement then dropped the subject, switching his attention to the contents of Shepard's cup. "Your tea smells familiar. What is it?"

"Peppermint. Here." Shepard offered him her cup, and he accepted it. He clasped his green fingers around it then lowered his face to inhale the aroma, his eyes flickering shut for a second.

"It reminds me of a tea I used to drink on Kahje called Sideitira. It is supposed to clear the mind of impure thoughts."

She thought of his hands on her back, of the unexpected warmth of his skin. Thane was the last person she should be thinking of in that way, considering that they were embarking on a suicide mission, and he was…

Her thoughts skittered away from the knowledge that he was dying, as they always did. It was too much to think about – the idea that this beautiful creature was fading away before her eyes.

"Does it work?" she asked hopefully, watching him as he prepared his own tea.

"It doesn't, though that didn't stop me from trying," he admitted, preparing his own tea with his usual careful ritual. "This is the traditional drink of my people, Naraitira. When the drell left Rakhana, they brought it with them in the hope that it would flourish in the fertile soils of Kahje. At first it seemed to thrive, but then the humidity created its own set of problems, as it did for the drell."

He let the tea steep then held it out to Shepard. She put her tea down and accepted it, looking at the pale golden liquid then giving it a tentative sniff. The smell was subtle, reminding her of the scent of grass after a rainstorm somewhere she'd been stationed once.

"There are few of the Naraitira plants left now," Thane continued. "The hanar have helped to cultivate hardier varieties though this one is still one of the most prized. An indulgence, I'll admit, considering its price."

"Have you ever been to Rakhana?" Shepard asked, handing him his tea back and taking a sip of her own.

"Once. It is a mere shadow of what it once was. I doubt I shall return." He drank some of his tea then studied her face carefully. "Your planet has deserts, does it not?"

"Yes, I've never seen them though. I've probably seen more of the rest of the galaxy than I've seen of Earth." She frowned and pressed her cup to her bottom lip. "It didn't feel like home. It still doesn't."

She was unable to keep the look of discomfort off her face, and she found herself fidgeting beneath his steady gaze.

"I'm sorry if I caused you any pain. It was not my intention."

"You didn't. And thank you for before. I might need to work on my fitness," Shepard admitted, rubbing her neck.

"You seem much recovered," Thane said. "When you are well enough, I am happy to commence the tests we spoke of."

"Another twenty-four hours and I should be ready. I should probably check with Mordin first." Shepard took a sip of her tea, glancing up at him. "There was something I wanted to ask you."

Thane hummed in assent, leaning back against the kitchen top.

"Why not Omega?"

He paused, eyes staring into the distance, and the seconds started to crawl by with no response.

Shepard wondered if he'd heard her. She looked away from him then moved to put her empty cup into the dishwasher. She was reaching for a packet in her locker when he finally responded, his voice bleak.

"I…I have something of a reputation on Omega. Something happened. They call it the One-Hour Massacre. You must forgive me for not going into detail," Thane said, staring into his cup.

His expression had darkened considerably, and she felt a stab of guilt for bringing it up. "I'm sorry for asking. I should go."

Thane raised his head slowly, still obviously distracted. "Of course. Goodnight, Shepard."

She nodded, picked up the packet of biscuits, and returned to her room. It was not the answer she'd been expecting, and it couldn't help but pique her curiosity.

Thane was dangerous, that much was obvious, but she was starting to feel safe around him, and that troubled her.

She was barely managing to hold herself together, and the thought of adding any further complication in the form of Thane was unthinkable. She had to focus on the task at hand, on becoming the Commander of the ship and doing the job she'd been made for – destroying the Reapers.

There was no room in her life for anything else.


	10. Guardianship

She looked over the galaxy map, cup of tea firmly in hand, and started running through all of the things that needed ordering. It was unfamiliar, standing there at the start of the day cycle, but she'd decided that things had to change.

Her exercises had been completed, and Mordin had given her the all-clear. She couldn't hide anymore.

Kelly kept glancing up at her, shuffling nervously.

"Morning, Kelly," Shepard said, looking over her datapad.

"Morning, Commander."

Shepard winced, and then remembered what Thane had said. They needed her to be Commander, and she wasn't going to let them down. "Is there anything I should be aware of?"

"Operative Lawson wishes to speak with you. She seems agitated."

Shepard thought back to their skirmish in the mess hall and wondered if that was why she'd used Kelly to approach her instead. There was no avoiding it. If she wished to run this ship properly, she had to make her peace with the crew, and that included Miranda.

"Anything else, Kelly?" she asked, stepping down from the map and adding a few things to her ever-growing list.

"Yes, there's a message from the Illusive Man on your private terminal."

Shepard checked it as she passed, frowning at its contents. He was asking her to rescue a Cerberus Operative being held captive at an Eclipse base in the Fathar system, admittedly a system they were passing on their way out of Omega.

The idea of doing a mission so specifically for Cerberus rankled. There was still so much to get done that it seemed like a waste of valuable time. Then again it could be a good training mission.

Shepard still hadn't made her mind up by the time she strode into Miranda's office, expecting yet another round of her trademark superiority.

What she got was something completely different.

Miranda stood up as she entered, her face set in a frown. "I find myself in the unpleasant position of asking for your help. Please, sit down."

"Okay." Shepard looked round in confusion before sitting down. "What's this about?"

"I don't like discussing personal matters but this is important. You remember when I told you about my genetic modifications?" asked Miranda, looking intently at her.

"Of course," Shepard lied. She'd done her best not to think about Miranda, and that went as far as blocking out any conversations they may have had.

"Well, it was my…father that created me. He's a very influential man, and extremely controlling. He didn't want a daughter… he wanted a dynasty. I ran away as soon as I was old enough and brave enough. I went to Cerberus because I knew he would continue to pursue his investments, and they would protect me. But there was another reason I went to them."

Miranda got out of her chair and went over to the window, staring out into space as she spoke. "I have a sister, a twin, and he's still hunting her. Cerberus has kept her safe. Until now."

"You have a sister?" Shepard repeated. She couldn't imagine Miranda having a family, though she had to admit that she knew shockingly little about the woman that had spent years bringing her back to life. A small flame of guilt lit in Shepard's stomach as she realised her prejudice against Cerberus had become prejudice against Miranda.

"Yes. She's been living a normal life on Illium with her family, until now. Cerberus is going to move her and her family to a secure location, but my sources indicate that my father has sent agents to collect her." Miranda paced back to her desk and sat down, folding her arms. "I'm not going to let that happen."

There was a look of rage in Miranda's eyes and a tone in her voice that Shepard recognised, a fierce urge to protect those that she cared about that went beyond every other duty she had.

Shepard rubbed at her arm where her scar used to be, a scar she'd picked up from protecting her adoptive brother a long time ago back on Earth. The scar had gone now, but the fact that she was still there at all was a testament to this woman in front of her, a woman who hadn't given up despite the odds.

"What exactly do we need to do?"

Miranda almost smiled, but it was gone before Shepard could be sure. "We need to go to Illium and make sure the move goes according to plan."

"All right. We've got one last mission to do in the Fathar system then we'll be underway."

"The Lost Operative? Don't look at me like that. What kind of Operative would I be if I didn't know what was in every communication from the Illusive Man?" Miranda said, actually smiling this time. "I wasn't sure you'd accept the mission."

"Neither was I," Shepard admitted, getting to her feet. "I'll let you know when we're done."

"Thank you, Shepard. I appreciate it."

Shepard gave her a nod and left, heading straight up to the cockpit. She marched up the stairs and past the spot she tried to avoid, holding her breath until she reached the cockpit.

"Hey, Joker."

"Commander. It's nice to have some of the old crew back. And we've got our own mascot now," Joker said, not even bothering to turn around.

"Mascot?"

"You know, the cuddly baby Krogan smashing up the cargo hold. When you're not smashing it up, of course. I thought you might have noticed him, seeing as you got him out of his tank and all."

"I don't think somebody in your condition should be making jokes about the Krogan. Especially when it's my Krogan," Shepard smiled, leaning on the back of the chair and turning Joker's hat the wrong way.

"Hey!" Joker complained, snatching the hat off his head and rearranging it very carefully before continuing. "Anyway, doesn't that make Grunt your baby or something? I mean, you were the first thing he saw when he got out of his tank, shouldn't he be following you around?"

"He is."

Joker scrambled to turn the chair, and Shepard couldn't help bursting out laughing, holding onto her sides to stop her ribs from hurting.

"Very funny, Commander, very funny. I'll be getting you back for that one," grumped Joker, spinning his chair back around. "What are you actually up here for?"

"I need you to take us to Lorek. How long will it take to get us there?" she asked, leaning on the back of the chair again, and watching as Joker worked his way effortlessly through what looked like a mess of screens.

"An hour at the most."

"Perfect, thank you," Shepard said. "EDI, can you ask Garrus and Thane to meet me in the shuttle bay? We've got work to do."

"Of course, Commander."

She felt the rebuke on the tip of her tongue—the correction from Commander to Captain—and she swallowed it before the words could leave her mouth.

If she was going to do this properly then had to start now, or not at all. Going up against Eclipse would give her a chance to stretch her legs before she dealt with Miranda's family matters on Illium. There was also the small matter of the Justicar.

Shepard headed back to her cabin to clean her armour. Maybe she could do this after all.

They clambered back into the shuttle, Shepard's mood silencing them all. The mission on Lorek could hardly have been called a success, and Thane couldn't help noticing the distinct irritation on Shepard's face as she sat down next to him in the dim light of the shuttle.

The Cerberus operative had been dead on arrival, but they had succeeded in recovering the data. From Shepard's reaction this was less than satisfactory. She had, however, taken the data for herself.

Thane had deemed it to be a wise move. It never hurt to have leverage against an organization such as Cerberus.

Shepard let out a sigh, leant her head back against the seat, and – in her customary fashion – fell asleep instantly.

Thane slipped into his usual method of passing the time, sifting through memories until he found one he wished to lose himself in. Yet he found it difficult to concentrate, and when he eventually despaired and returned to the present moment, he discovered why.

Shepard had slumped against him, her head settled gently on his shoulder. Her black hair was feathering his skin, brushing against the delicate folds of his neck.

"She always does that. Just throw her on the floor if she starts drooling," Garrus said from his seat opposite, giving them a cursory glance before going back to inspecting his gun.

Thane laughed softly then took the utmost care not to disturb her. She trusted him enough to fall asleep beside him, and it stirred a curious feeling of guardianship in him. The length of her legs falling against his own and the softness of her hair upon his neck brought unexpected feelings to the surface of his mind.

Something unbidden had stirred in his heart from the very first mission they'd been on together, from the moment he'd seen her unfurl across the battlefield swathed in the luminous purple glow of her biotics.

Shepard was shadow and flame, a dark fire that consumed only what it was directed at without losing control. There was nothing he could do but back her up, find his way next to her and give himself over as her weapon to use. To strike for her when her gaze fell elsewhere, to cover her back as she charged forward.

There at her side, drowsing in the warmth, he found it easy to slip into memories of her.

The moment she had fallen blazing from the sky. The smile on her face when he had lifted her to her feet, and the arching reach of her impossible wings. Somehow he had found himself thinking of her more and more, to the point where he found himself reaching for her glowing hands every night before sleep came to claim him.

A low murmur broke his reverie, jolting him back to her side. At first he thought he had imagined it, some small fragment of a memory creeping into his consciousness. Then he heard it again, and realised at once that it was Shepard.

Hands twitching in her lap, she dreamt, and it was clear from her voice that it was a dream of fear that gripped her, eliciting ragged whispers of terror that made Thane's heart catch.

Taking her hand gently in his, Thane turned his mouth towards her, murmuring her name then squeezing her fingers softly with his own. Her hands were warm, bright against the green of his own.

Her fingers flexed suddenly against his own, and for a long moment Shepard seemed trapped in her nightmare, her breathing still uneven as she leant against him. Her eyes finally flickered open, yet she made no move to take her fingers away from his until her breathing returned to normal, and reality reasserted itself.

Shepard straightened, taking her warmth with her, and placed Thane's hand on his leg with a small pat that felt somehow like a rejection.

He couldn't help but take it as such, wondering if he'd gone too far in touching her again, and a pang of something like regret washed over him. He had only sought to offer her comfort in the midst of her nightmare, but somehow the gesture had been for him as well. He couldn't help but reach out to her, though she was neither his commander nor his friend.

He caught Garrus watching them from across the shuttle, his hand resting lightly on the gun in his lap.

Thane returned his look, and then resumed his slip into the past without Shepard as a distraction. Only the jolt of the shuttle docking disturbed him, and he found himself blinking against the harsh light of the _Normandy_ as the door swung open.

Garrus leapt out first, gun slung over his shoulder, and Thane rose to his feet, waiting for Shepard to leave first.

She moved forwards, then hesitated and turned back to face him.

"Thank you," Shepard said quietly. She held out her hand to him, almost shyly, as though she might snatch it back at any second. "My name's Cora. Cora Shepard."

Thane touched his hand to hers, his fingers brushing hers softly for the briefest of moments. "You are welcome, Cora."

She smiled, her face lighting up, and Thane knew that she had given him something akin to a Soul Name.

When she left the shuttle, he fell into step beside her, stopping as she looked round the shuttle bay with an odd expression.

He still struggled to grasp the emotions that flickered across human faces as quickly as a rainstorm over the sea, their colourless skin so flat and their faces endlessly mobile.

As an assassin, Thane knew fear, regret, and all the emotions that ranged over any being at the end of its life, but for all that, some human expressions remained a mystery. Now he found himself watching her for clues.

He was finding her easier to translate now, and he believed that he detected traces of embarrassment.

"Could we start the tests later?" Shepard asked, and Thane knew exactly what she was thinking. The shuttle bay had looked very different the last time they'd stood there together.

"Of course. Message me as soon as you are ready," Thane said, following her into the elevator.

He left first, turning to bow slightly at her before the doors closed. Thane knew he was being foolish, finding himself looking forward to the company of the very human Commander Shepard. He couldn't think of her as a Captain. He'd seen the woman that they all clung to, and he found himself increasingly powerless to resist.

Shepard may have lost her faith, but he found his restored. The glowing spread of her wings, the brightness of her falling against a dark sky. He knew her for what she was, even if she didn't.

Shepard sat on one of the crates, looking down at her bare feet. Not only was she missing her scars, but her tattoos had gone as well – obviously Cerberus had deemed them unessential.

She couldn't help missing them though, the stars that had twined up her feet to her ankles. Perhaps, if there was time on their next visit to the Citadel, she could get them replaced.

The sound of the door opening broke her thoughts, and she looked up to see Thane entering. He wasn't in his usual outfit, having chosen loose trousers and a black vest that revealed most of his chest.

Once again, Shepard found herself staring and had to look away, reminding herself of the reason they were there. If she could master her biotics once more, then she was master of herself, no longer questioning every move she made on the battlefield.

"Shepard," Thane said, standing in front of her. "Before we start, there are a number of things I need to make clear."

"Okay."

"If we are to train together, I need you to listen to my instructions and respond without question. I believe training in the Alliance is similar."

"Yes," Shepard replied, keeping her eyes fixed on his. "I understand."

"Also—whatever your capabilities—we start at the beginning. If I deem it necessary to stop, then there must be no argument. Mordin has made it clear that we are to progress slowly."

Shepard nodded slowly, standing to attention. "Of course. I have been in training since I was eighteen."

"Eighteen?" Thane raised an eyebrow at her, and Shepard got the impression that she was being mocked. It had been damn hard work qualifying as an N7, and something she was incredibly proud of.

"Can we get started? I have a mission in eight hours, and I still need to get some sleep," she responded.

"I am aware of that. Shall we?"

Thane sat down cross-legged, and Shepard looked down at him for a moment before remembering what he'd said. It was going to take some getting used to following instructions again.

"Before we do anything, you have to learn focus. You have some skill, but you could be better."

"All right. What do I need to do?" Shepard asked, folding herself down in front of him. The floor was cold through the fabric of her trousers.

Thane sat straight, his hands clasped lightly in front of him, and closed his eyes. "We meditate."

Shepard looked at him, her gaze running over the curve of his legs and the emerald of his skin where it vanished beneath his vest.

"Cora," Thane admonished, not even opening his eyes.

The sound of her name from his lips jolted her, and she closed her eyes quickly.

"Listen to what is around you. Tell me what you can hear," Thane instructed, his voice reverberating through the quiet.

Shepard listened carefully. She could hear the ship – the constant soundtrack of her life – and closer by, she thought she could hear the whisper of Thane's breath. There was also the sound of her own heart, increasingly loud in her ears.

"I can hear the ship. The air filter. You."

"Good. What else?"

"I can hear me."

"You are loud, even for a human. Be still. Listen to each breath and let all other thoughts drift away."

He said human as though it was an insult, and Shepard took a moment to regain her focus. She knew that if she opened her eyes she would see Thane smiling.

She attempted to do as he said, but soon found her thoughts trailing into weapons inventories and the dossier still sat uncollected on her desk. There was also the matter of Miranda's sister, and the Justicar still needed collecting.

"What are you thinking about?" Thane asked.

Shepard considered lying. "The Justicar. How much ammo I need to order. Whether or not my custom ammo rail is ready. The rifle mod I asked Garrus to look at."

Thane sighed, and Shepard opened her eyes to look at him. "Thane, you don't seem like an assassin. At least, not how I imagined one."

He opened his eyes to look at her, furrowing his brow. "You've spent too much time fighting thugs who think custom-painted armour makes them professionals. The hanar trained my body for this role since I was six years old."

"Six?" Her earlier boast seemed particularly foolish. "Surely you didn't kill anybody at that age?"

"Of course not. I didn't make my first kill until I was twelve. They were training me. I was not to be used and thrown away. I was an investment."

"I had no idea. How did your parents feel, sending you away so young?"

"It was an agreement made under the Compact. They considered it an honour for our family."

"The Compact," Shepard repeated. "The debt you owe them for the rescue of your species, correct?"

"Correct, in a manner of speaking. I thought you knew little of the hanar and the drell."

"That was until I met you," Shepard said, drawing her knees up to her chest. "What took you away from Kahje? If they trained you, why did you leave?"

Thane looked down at his hands, his fingers still twined together. "I was asleep for a long time, yes. I paid no attention to what my body was asked to do. But then…" He paused, eyes flickering. "_Laser dot trembles on the skull. One finger twitch, he dies. Then the smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset coloured eyes defiant in the scope. The laser dances away_."

He slumped forwards, his head down. "My…apologies. Drell slip into memory so easily."

"Was that one of your assassinations?" Shepard asked.

"Ah... yes. Perhaps we can discuss it later. I believe you have a mission in eight hours."

Shepard resumed her cross-legged position and closed her eyes, trying her best not to think about what he'd just said. She'd never seen anything like Thane's immersion into his memory, and the idea of it intrigued her. There were memories she still relived vividly, and Shepard couldn't help the shiver that ran through her.

_The stars streaking past, the sound of her own heartbeat loud in her ears and getting faster_.

"I can't do this," she said suddenly, scrambling to get up.

Thane caught her wrist, watching her. "What was it? If you are to do this successfully, you must learn to conquer those memories that would defeat you."

Shepard settled back down, and Thane released her, leaning closer.

"I fell. When the _Normandy_ broke apart, I fell through the stars. Everything was on fire. My suit alarm was going off, then I heard something—a hiss. I didn't realise what it was at first. Then I couldn't breathe, but I was still falling." She couldn't help raising her hands to her chest, the ragged race of her heart beneath her fingers. "I die every night, in my dreams."

"I see," Thane said quietly. "This memory makes you what you are. There is no hiding from it, all you can do is try and accept it. You are here now, and your path is set before you. You must walk it without fear, for you have already put the worst behind you. Let it guide you in your future actions, without allowing it to become a stone around your neck."

For a moment she thought he was going to touch her, but instead Thane pulled away. He sat straight-backed, watching her with his usual impossible calm. "This is how we learn. This is what you must live with."

Shepard swallowed, her hands dropping from her chest. She was still there; her heart was beating a reminder in her chest. "I'll try. This was harder than I expected," she said, attempting a smile.

"Facing ourselves is the hardest part. Once you learn focus, the rest will be much easier. I think we have done enough for now."

Shepard agreed, clambering slowly to her feet. She returned to her quarters, changed into her sleep clothes, and lay on the bed staring at the window above her.

Stars sped past, bright in the depths of space. Shepard closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the ship around her. The fish tank bubbled quietly, the air filter clicked gently, and her own pulse beat low in her chest.

Her path was set before her. She just had to find the courage to take it.


	11. For the right reasons

She checked her armour again and again, running her fingertips over the smooth edges and the various fastenings that held it all together.

She was nervous, and it surprised her. This mission should be fairly straightforward, guarding Miranda's sister to make sure she was moved safely, but Shepard knew better than that by now.

She felt as though she were finding her feet again, forcing herself back out into the world, and that meant making her peace with Miranda, and by extension Cerberus.

There was also still the matter of the Justicar. According to her most recent Intel she remained on Illium, and Shepard had every intention of going to find her as soon as Miranda had been dealt with. Once her crew was assembled she could start assessing them ready for their final mission.

Miranda was waiting for her at the airlock, alone.

"Shepard," Miranda acknowledged. "My contact is waiting for us at The Eternity."

Shepard took one last look round. She'd been expecting Garrus to come and see her before they left, but he remained strangely absent. The main gun probably needed calibrating again.

"Let's get this over and done with."

The shuttle swept through the sky, and Shepard looked down at the rows of lights. The journey had been silent. Miranda sat absorbed in thought, and Shepard was content simply to look out at the sunset with its bands of dusky purple clouds. Illium was beautiful.

"Thank you, Shepard."

She looked round at Miranda, unsure of what she'd just heard.

"I know we've had our…disagreements but I appreciate this. I hadn't planned on Eclipse…but they never planned on you."

Shepard was about to reply when she heard the familiar roar of a gunship passing them. "Looks like Eclipse gunships, they'll be dropping troops."

"Damn it!" Miranda said, staring out of the window.

"What did you expect? You're working with me now," Shepard told her, taking her pistol out to make sure it was ready. It was no good wishing she'd brought Garrus now.

"Eclipse will be under orders to take my sister alive. They won't risk anything that might hurt us," Miranda said, lacking her usual conviction.

"Put us down in that cover behind them," Shepard ordered, scanning the area. The shuttle started to dip, and shots started to pepper the transport with high metallic pings.

Alarms started sounding, and Shepard felt her heart rate kick up as they plunged towards the floor at speed. "Brace for impact!" she managed to shout, bringing her barrier up and waiting for the floor to hit them.

They landed with a jolt, screeching to a shuddering halt.

"You were saying?" Shepard muttered, opening the door.

One of the mercs started towards them, and Shepard followed Miranda towards him.

"Since you're not firing yet, I trust you know who I am."

"Yeah," the lead merc sneered. "They said you'd be in the car. You're the bitch that kidnapped our boss' little girl."

"Kidnapped?" Miranda scoffed. "This doesn't involve you. I suggest you take your men and go."

"Think you've got it all lined up, huh? Captain Enyala's already moving on the kid. She knows about Niket. He won't be helping you."

"Miranda, didn't you say she was your twin?" Shepard asked, counting up the number of mercs.

The leader was happy to let his mouth run away with him. "That what she told you? No, this crazy bitch kidnapped our boss' baby daughter. He's been looking for her for over a decade."

"It's complicated," Miranda protested. "We share the same DNA, just not the same birthday."

"Should we be talking about Captain Enyala about this?" Shepard asked, taking her chance to examine the weaponry they were carrying. Thugs with custom painted armour. If they'd been any kind of professionals, she'd have been dead by now.

"You don't want to talk to the Captain. She's not as polite as I am. She's the best commando I've ever seen. I've seen her tear people in half with her biotics, and she's getting paid a lot to stop you. We've been ordered to give you one chance to walk away. Nobody has to get killed, unless you do something stupid."

They obviously didn't know her very well.

They made it into the terminal without using Shepard's biotics. She hadn't dared use them yet despite being given the all clear, though she knew eventually she would have no choice. She should have insisted on bringing someone else with them instead of bowing to Miranda's paranoia.

Miranda led the way into the lift, pacing round the confined space. "Shepard, I think I owe you an explanation. Oriana is my twin, genetically. But my father grew her when I was a teenager. She was meant to replace me. I couldn't let my father do to her what he did to me. So I rescued her. She's almost a woman now."

Shepard looked at her, the 'perfect' woman. Miranda was just as human as Shepard was, screwed up by her background and still fighting for those she loved.

"Miranda, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I'm sure you did it for the right reasons."

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you sooner, Shepard. And thank you. I owe you."

"You're part of my crew. You don't owe me a thing."

"But Shepard," Miranda said, hanging back. "I'm worried by what the merc said. If they've got to Niket this is going to be much harder than we planned."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Shepard said, leaving the elevator. "Now let's go rescue your sister."

They made their way into the cargo processing yard, and Shepard felt her heart sink. There were conveyor belts everywhere, movement in every shadow, and the added bonus of hazardous materials.

She ducked into cover, pulled out her rifle, and smiled when she saw the mod Garrus had calibrated for her. It was just the thing for taking down the mercs on the other side of the conveyor belt.

The mercs were everywhere. A small group of them had decided to try and outflank them, moving round behind their position. There was nothing for it.

Shepard felt the rush of energy as she flared her biotics, gathering her power then unleashing a shockwave on them. It rippled away from her in vivid purple splashes, knocking over a couple of the mercs and sending the rest into cover.

She lifted one of them out then concentrated her fire on whatever was left. Once she was satisfied they were all down, she turned her attention back to the enemies in front.

"How you holding up, Miranda?" Shepard asked, popping the heatsink and reaching for a new one. It was hotter than she'd thought in here, crouching in the stifling shadows in full armour.

"I'm alright, but we need to get past them. I've hacked into their comms, it should give us more of an idea what they're up to."

Shepard nodded, replaced her heatsink, and heard a familiar noise. A merc laid dead, a couple of metres closer from where she'd dropped him, and she knew straight away what that noise was.

She'd recognise the sound of Garrus' gun anywhere, though the gunshot that accompanied it was less familiar. Thane?

When she looked up into the rafters, there was a movement, a shadow that faded into black.

"Son of a bitch," Shepard muttered. She took aim down her scope, and went to work.

Shepard fired, listening carefully for the sound she'd heard earlier. This time there was nothing.

"No… No, that can't be right!"

"What is it?" Shepard asked, surprised by the distress in Miranda's voice.

"They're saying Niket is going to make the switch to their transport. Niket!"

Shepard abandoned her search for ammo and opened the elevator doors, trying to keep her face impassive as Miranda followed her in.

"Maybe the Captain knows we're listening in and she's feeding misinformation about Niket making the switch. Or maybe it means something else," Miranda went on, pacing past Shepard. "Niket wouldn't do that. Damn it, why won't this thing go any faster?"

She made as though to punch the control panel, and Shepard intercepted. "Getting us trapped in here won't help your sister. You need to stay focussed."

"You're right. We'll be at the transport shuttle in a moment, and we'll clear this up."

Shepard looked at her and, for a moment, she felt a spark of pity. Betrayal was never easy to swallow, and she didn't imagine that Miranda would handle it well. She couldn't help thinking of Kaidan, of how he'd spoken to her back on Horizon, and she felt the familiar swoop of disappointment all over again.

The elevator pinged, and the doors opened.

Miranda went first, with Shepard at her side. A man, presumably Niket, stood with two asari. The one in the Eclipse uniform got to her feet, drawing her gun. "This should be fun," she sneered.

The civilian clutching the datapad took the opportunity to run away, and to Shepard's dismay, the merc shot her straight in the back.

Shepard raised her pistol, but Miranda looked at her and gave her the smallest of nods.

"We do this my way, Shepard," she murmured. "Niket. You sold me out. Why? You were my friend; you helped me get away from my father."

"Yes, because you wanted to leave," Niket replied, putting his hands up. "That was your choice! But if I'd known that you'd stolen a baby…"

"I didn't steal her. I rescued her," Miranda insisted.

"From a life of wealth and happiness? You weren't saving her! You were getting back at your Father!"

"How did Miranda's father turn you?" Shepard asked.

"They told me you'd kidnapped your baby sister all those years ago. They said I could help get her back peacefully. No trauma to the family. I told them you'd never do that. That they can go to hell. Then you finally told me what you'd done. I called them back that night."

"Why didn't you call me, Niket?" Miranda burst out. "We've been through a lot. You could've at least let me explain."

"I deserved to know that you'd stolen your sister, Miri. I deserved to know that you were with Cerberus. But I had to hear it from your father first."

The fact that she hadn't told one of her oldest friends surprised Shepard. Perhaps she wasn't the only one who had issues with Cerberus.

"I knew Eclipse was willing to get their hands dirty, but kidnapping a kid?" Shepard said, turning her attention to the merc. If she was with Niket, then that meant she was Captain Enyala. She hoped the merc had been exaggerating her strength.

"I'm not stealing her. I'm rescuing her," Enyala mocked. "Come on, Niket. Let's finish this bitch off and get out of here."

"If you're working for Miranda's father, that means he knows about Oriana. We need to find a new solution," Shepard said.

Niket looked at the floor. "Miranda's father has no information about Oriana. I knew you had spy programmes in your father's system, Miri, so I kept it private. I'm the only one who knows."

"Which means that you're the only loose end. This isn't how I wanted it to end, Niket. I'm going to miss you."

Miranda raised her pistol, and Shepard grabbed her arm before she could fire. "Miranda, you don't want to do this. There has to be another way."

"This has to end here, Shepard. My father will keep trying to find Oriana."

"I know, but you don't want to kill him. Get him to talk to your Father, then hide Oriana away, and never have anything to do with him again," she said, nodding at Niket.

"Hey!" he shouted, stepping forwards as a shot rang out.

"We done here?" Enyala asked. Niket slumped to the floor in front of them. "If you don't mind, I have a shipment to deliver."

There was a flash, and Enyala was thrown across the yard in a glowing blur.

"You'll die for that, bitch!" Miranda shouted, and Shepard scrambled into cover as Enyala's team moved on them.

She tried to count them, then gave up and started blasting them with shockwave. Every use of her biotics made her head thrum, a vibration in the back of her head that grew steadily worse.

She tried to ignore it, moving to get a better view of Enyala. Then she used Reave, and the world flickered for a moment as the pain in her head increased. There was screaming, a burst of gunfire, then a shout from Miranda.

_Focus_, she told herself.

Shepard forced her eyes open, scanned the area, and then broke out of cover. She could see the glow of Enyala's armour as she ran straight for her, smashing her shields down then lifting her high above the ground.

"I said die." Miranda raised her pistol and took the last shot, not even bothering to watch as Enyala's lifeless body crumpled to the ground. "Shepard?"

"What?" She saw concern on Miranda's face, and finally noticed the wetness on her face.

"Your nose is bleeding again. I'm sorry, I forgot about you. I was just so worried about Oriana and—"

"I'm fine," Shepard said flatly, taking her glove off and finding a pack of dressing in one of her pockets. The buzzing in her head had decreased, but the pain remained, a nagging reminder that she was meant to be taking it slowly. "Come on. Let's make sure your sister is safe."

By the time they'd made it to Oriana, Shepard's nose had stopped bleeding. The use of her biotics had cost her, and she couldn't help staring down at the dressing clutched in her hand. This was all her own fault. She'd done it to herself.

"There's no sign of Eclipse," Miranda said, looking round the transport area. "Looks like we're all clear."

Shepard stuffed the dressing back in her pocket, and then turned her attention to Miranda. She was staring at a small group of people, and for the first time since she'd met her, Miranda was smiling. She had a heart after all.

"There she is. She's safe…with her family. Come on, we should go."

"You could talk to her," Shepard said quietly, looking at the dark haired girl a couple of metres away.

"What? No. I can't. It wouldn't be right. She has her family now."

"And so do you. Miranda, we're going through the Omega-Four relay. If you don't speak to her now, you'll regret it. She doesn't have to know everything, but she should know she has a sister who loves her."

"I guess you're right," Miranda said uncertainly.

Shepard gave her a gentle push and went to sit down, opening up her messages and starting to type. _Kaidan_, she started. _I wanted to say: please don't think the worst of me. You know I would only do this for the right reasons. Whatever you hear, whatever you might think of me, I did this to protect those I love. _

Shepard hit delete. There was still time left to prove herself.

She found him where he always was, tinkering with the main guns.

"You know, if we managed to get hold of that Tynix four-fifty we could really make this girl sing," Garrus said cheerfully, glancing up at her.

Shepard folded her arms. "That was you, wasn't it?"

"I don't know what you're—"

"Don't even try, you're a crappy liar. Always have been. What were you doing following me on a mission exactly?"

Garrus shifted his weight from foot to foot before folding his arms in response. "You went on a mission to help Miranda, the same Miranda that, until a few days ago, you despised. You went without backup, you're working for Cerberus, and a couple of days ago you tried to fry your own brain. Have I forgotten anything?"

"Uh-huh. Garrus, much as I appreciate the sentiment, I don't need babysitting," Shepard said, trying to keep her voice light.

"Right, sure you don't. Look, all I'm trying to say is this isn't like you. Working with Cerberus, doing missions for them? I'm not going to sit back and watch you go to hell, not when there's something I can do about it."

"You said you'd walk into hell with me. Well, here we are," Shepard said, whirling round and gesturing at the ship. "I died, and what did the Alliance do? Nothing. Oh, and guess what they're doing about the Collectors? Nothing. I didn't choose this side, Garrus. What choice do I have?"

"So what, we should all suck it up and be happy about working for Cerberus because you say so?"

"No, I'm saying we have a job to do, and I'm damn well going to do it properly."

"And if I say something you don't want to hear, you're going to run along and play with your drell boyfriend instead?" Garrus said, leaning back against the railing. "Maybe it would interest you to know he was with me, and he was a lousy shot."

Shepard frowned, staring at him. He was lying to her, and if she wasn't mistaken there was something else lurking in his sub-harmonics.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who's going crazy," she said, turning her back on him.

"You do anything with him, and you're a bigger fool than I thought."

"I'm leaving the ship now," Shepard said, flipping him her middle finger as she walked away.

"That's right, run away from the argument 'cause you know I'm right. Where the hell are you going anyway?" Garrus yelled after her. There was a clang then a broken off curse.

"I'm off to get the Justicar. I was going to ask you for help, but you've done enough of that already," Shepard yelled, turning to look at him through the frame of the doorway. He was rubbing his head, his back to her.

He'd been with her through thick and thin. He knew her better than anyone else alive. She also knew that he was right.

Shepard sighed and set off to meet Mordin, scrubbing at her face in case some last traces of blood remained. As long as she was careful, there shouldn't be a repeat of her last episode, but she'd rather keep it between her and Miranda.

Once they'd collected the Justicar, the last piece of her team would be in place. She'd found them all, scattered across the galaxy. Now it was up to her to put them together.

Garrus heard his omni-tool ping, pulled himself out from under the gun, and checked the message.

_Meet me at the bar._

He found her sitting alone in one of the side rooms of The Eternity, two drinks in front of her. One looked distinctly like his favourite drink, a strong Turian brew with a shimmering froth on top. The other looked unfamiliar, decorated with paper parasols and fruit.

"Shepard," he said, sitting down next to her.

She pushed his drink over to him, folding her arms in front of her. "Peace offering," she said, running a finger round the sugar crusted edge of her glass.

"Look, Shepard. I know I was out of line, following you like that. And it won't happen again. It's just… well, you haven't been the same since…" Since she'd found him, those red eyes burning as she looked him over. They had dimmed now, but he still caught a glimpse every now and then, reminding him that everything had changed.

"No…you're right," Shepard said, fishing fruit out of her drink and examining it. "I need to listen to you. You're the only one I can trust to be honest with me. But I need you to understand that we're only working _with_ Cerberus, we're not them. I don't like it either, but this is the way things are. If we're going to stop the Collectors, then we take whatever they give us and we do it. And once we're done, we go back to the Alliance."

"Something tells me Cerberus won't be too happy about that," Garrus said, taking a sip from the specially shaped glass.

"They won't be," Shepard said, taking a data stick out of her top. "But I've got this. It should make our lives a little easier."

"Compromising data. How could I resist?"

"I was going to use it to trade for information about my biotics, but something tells me we're going to need it."

"You really think we can do this? Stop the Collectors?" Garrus asked, keeping his eyes on his drink. Shepard still hadn't touched hers, other than to eat the fruit that floated in it.

"If we can get through the relay, yes. But come back again? That I'm not so sure about," she said quietly.

"It's a long shot, but we've dealt with those before."

Shepard smiled at him, a quick grin that melted in seconds. "So," she said. "A lousy shot, huh? You're the worst liar I know. What did he do? Beat you at your own game?"

"Oh no. He lost. Something tells me his head wasn't really in the game," Garrus replied, scanning the bar. "I thought it would be a close run thing, but at the final tally, well, it was two to one in my favour."

Shepard hummed, eating the last bit of fruit from her drink. "Garrus, I'm not an idiot. I know he's dying."

She paused, rubbing at the fine silver scars on the back of her hand. They had already faded, only becoming visible at certain angles. "We're heading out on a suicide mission. I just wish…" She clenched her fists, and looked up at him before continuing. "I wish it didn't have to be like this. There's no one else I'd rather have at my side. But, Garrus, I don't want you to die because of me. There's still so much for you to do, you haven't had your own command yet and your family—"

"You are family. Do you honestly think I could go home, knowing you were out there still fighting? I'm not going to lose you again. And if this mission does go sideways, and we don't make it back, then you can be damn sure you won't be alone."

Her hand crept into his, squeezing his fingers gently. "Thank you," she said. "For believing in me. And for watching my back."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd been drinking," Garrus joked, taking his hand carefully from hers and downing the last of his drink. It had been too long since they'd had the opportunity to talk like this, without the gnawing worry that every word they said was being sent back to Cerberus. "So, we've got a full crew now. Are we ready to kick some Collector ass?"

"You know, Cerberus might be completely crazy, but they know how to pick a good team. You should have seen Samara…"

"Who?"

"The Justicar. I've never seen anything like it. She swore an oath to me, and it was…" Shepard sat back, gazing into the distance with a half-smile on her face.

"You've always been a sucker for a little theatricality," Garrus said, leaning back in his chair. "Can I get you anything else? Another drink maybe? Easy on the drink, heavy on the fruit?"

"No. We need to get back. I want to get to the Citadel and resupply," Shepard said, pushing her glass away with a frown.

"So we go shopping. Then what? We sit around waiting for Cerberus to tell us what to do?"

"Looks like it," Shepard said wearily, getting slowly to her feet. "You know, seeing as we're shopping, I don't see a reason why I couldn't stretch to a Tynix four-fifty. Cerberus is footing the bill after all, and I know they want us to do the best job we possibly can."

"Wasn't there some new armour you needed? You know, now that I think about it, I could use a few extra rifle mods, just to be on the safe side. "

"I think you're right. Maybe I should go ask everyone if there's anything they need in order to do their job properly. We wouldn't want to let Cerberus down."

"We should definitely treat Gardner to a new recipe book," Garrus said, falling into step with Shepard.

"I was thinking maybe we should just buy a new chef."

He looked at her face as they walked back to the ship, the quick gestures of her hands as she talked about all the stuff they could buy. He wasn't easily distracted, even by talk of a Tynix four-fifty. It had taken her less time than expected to ask about Thane.

He wasn't the only terrible liar aboard the ship after all.


	12. Tests

The boxes tumbled to the floor for the fifth time, and Shepard let out a groan of frustration. She seemed to be getting worse, not better, and they'd been trying for over an hour now.

She'd been keen to fill in the long hours of waiting, and attempting another of Thane's tests seemed like a good use of her time. Until she'd started.

"Again," Thane said from behind her. He hadn't moved from his perch since they'd begun. He seemed distracted. Eyes closed, barely speaking to her.

That made two of them.

Shepard turned to glance at him, found his eyes still shut, and then resumed her task of lifting the boxes neatly into place. Thane had made it look easy, stacking them neatly into a tower. He didn't have a new amp or implant to contend with.

The bottom three had stayed in place, so Shepard set to rearranging the three that had fallen. She managed the first one without a problem, and then attempted the second one. It landed at an angle, and she spent some time trying to turn it so that it sat in line with the others.

Every nudge of her biotics set the box too far one way or the other, every rush of power only served to show the lack of control that she felt her irritation burst full bloom before she could stop herself.

The box tipped gently backwards off the pile. Shepard closed her eyes, and ground her teeth together. There was no point to all of this. They were no closer to getting through the Omega-Four relay, and whilst she might have a team to lead into battle, the battle itself was hidden beyond the relay.

_Focus_, she told herself. _Inhale. Exhale_.

"We could resume our meditations if you'd prefer, S… Shepard," Thane said, and she couldn't help turning to look at him. He looked away from her, the frown on his face remaining.

"No. I'm not going backwards. I can do this."

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck, then turned back to the boxes and closed her eyes again. Shutting out distractions was proving difficult. On the battlefield there would be hundreds of things to think about – possible outcomes, courses of actions, and her companions.

If she couldn't do this here with Thane, then she would have no chance out there. She didn't want to think about him. He was a distraction when she could least afford it. If she allowed herself to think about him then there was no telling where it would lead her.

Shepard lifted the boxes again, concentrating on restraining the rush of power at her fingertips that threatened to sweep her away. It was so easy to unleash it, to give herself over to the exhilaration it offered her. Perhaps it was in the restraint that she was losing her way.

She lifted the first three boxes, then the second three, until they were all floating before her.

It felt easy, watching each one of them spin until they were in position, then with a smile, she withdrew her energy, feeling it pulse through every nerve as the blocks dropped into place.

They weren't neat, but they stayed up.

"That was impressive," Thane said, finally getting up to stand next to her. "It was also incorrect."

"Why? I made the tower."

"Building the tower wasn't the point of the exercise," Thane told her serenely, disassembling the tower one block at a time.

"So, what was the point then?" Shepard asked, putting her hands on her hips. She never seemed able to please him. He watched her, infuriatingly unflappable, regarding her with those black eyes of his and giving nothing away.

"Patience," he said softly, drawing closer. "Tenacity."

"Of which I have neither," Shepard said, rubbing her face.

"That is doubtful. You defeated Saren. You came back from the dead, and here you are, still fighting even when the Alliance has given in."

She couldn't help looking at him. There was conviction in his words. Belief.

"Shepard." EDI's voice sounded over the comm. Shepard swallowed, looking away from Thane.

"Yes, EDI?"

"The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you in the briefing room. He says it is urgent."

"Tell him I'll be right there," Shepard said, her thoughts jumping straight to whatever he might have to say. The Omega-Four relay. Another Collector target. Whatever it was, it had to be better than waiting.

The room dipped into darkness as the image of the Illusive Man died, leaving her alone in the shadows. This was exactly what she had been hoping for, a chance to gather some scrap of information and claw back their advantage.

"EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Tell Joker to head for the new co-ordinates. And get everyone in here. We need to talk."

"Right away, Shepard."

She sat down on the edge of the table with her back to the door, thinking over everything the Illusive Man had told her. The last time she'd seen a Collector vessel had been back on Horizon, and the memory wasn't a pleasant one. They'd gotten away with half the colonists, and she hadn't been able to do a damn thing about it.

"Shepard," Miranda said as she entered. Jacob followed quickly behind. Everyone else arrived soon after, with Jack last.

"Cerberus has managed to track down a Collector ship for us. A Turian patrol found it out near the Korlus system. They managed to disable it but reports indicate they didn't come out well."

Garrus shifted slightly beside her.

"We're going to board the Collector ship and see what we can find."

"And the turians?" Garrus asked, looking at her intently. "Are we going to help them too?"

"They managed to get a distress call off, and the turians have a recon team on route," Shepard lied smoothly, hating herself for it. "We need information. Without it we're stuck on the wrong side of the Omega-Four relay."

"You could say the right side," Garrus muttered.

Shepard ignored him, looking round the room at her crew mates. "Thane, Garrus, I want you with me. Miranda, Mordin, Tali, I want you looking over every scrap of data I send back. Jacob, Samara and Jack, I want you on standby. Same goes for you, Grunt and Kasumi."

"With all due respect, Commander, you're taking the assassin?" Jacob asked, leaning on the table. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"I've accepted a contract," Thane replied. "My arm is Shepard's."

"Uh-huh. Don't know about you, but I'm loyal to more than my next paycheck."

"Which is why you left the Alliance for Cerberus I'm sure," Shepard said mildly, looking over at Jacob. "Look, he's doing this mission gratis. What's your concern?"

Jacob folded his arms and stepped back from the table. "I don't like mercenaries. An assassin is just a precise mercenary."

"An assassin is a weapon. A weapon doesn't choose to kill. The one who wields it does," Thane said.

"I trust Thane. He's coming with me. Now, do I need to say anything else or shall I let you piss off the precise mercenary some more?" Shepard asked, eager to get the meeting over with. "No? Good."

"There is one other thing," Garrus said. "Are you sure you should be leading the first team in there? I mean, it's you they're looking for. You're just going to hand yourself over?"

Everyone looked at her, and Shepard made a mental note to yell at him later. It wasn't common knowledge that they were after her specifically, and she'd been happy to keep it that way.

"That's exactly why I need to go in. I need to know why," Shepard asserted, standing straight. "You're dismissed."

She let them leave without her, glad of the peace when the doors shut behind them. She needed to know why they were targeting humans specifically, where they were based, and the one thing she'd been trying not to think about – why they were so interested in her.

The Collector ship hung amidst the stars, unmoving. Its stillness was unnatural. Shepard was seized by the urge to tell Joker to turn the ship around and get as far away as possible.

"Very low emissions," EDI told them as they swooped closer. "Passive infrared temperatures suggest most systems are offline. Thrusters are cold."

Joker stared up at it, lifting his cap. "That thing is massive. How the hell did the turians take it out?"

"Lucky shot maybe?" Shepard suggested, trying to figure the same thing out herself. It was heavily armoured and relatively undamaged as far as she could tell.

"Ladar scans do not detect any hull breaches on the side facing us. I detect no mass effect field distortions. It appears the drive core is offline," EDI said, confirming her assessment. There was no telling where the ship was damaged from here, and with their limited knowledge of Collector ships, there was no reliable way of knowing even with a full scan.

"Rendezvous in thirty seconds, Commander. Good luck."

Shepard patted him gently on the shoulder, and set off to the shuttle bay where Garrus and Thane were waiting. This was it. She was finally going into the belly of the beast.


	13. Keeping Faith

She sat, turning her helmet over in her hands, as the shuttle approached the Collector Vessel. She hadn't slept well.

In her dreams she'd been falling, helmet filling with flames until all she could see was the fire consuming her, rushing into her lungs and stealing her breath. She'd woken, shaking and alone, and gone straight to the mirror to check her face.

The scars were fading, but the red of her eyes had burnt brightly back at her.

"Ten seconds," the pilot prompted. Shepard looked over at Garrus and Thane.

"Garrus?" Shepard thrust the helmet at him. "Could you help me with this?"

"Sure," Garrus responded, as though this was something they did every mission. He watched her face carefully as he lowered the helmet over her pale face. Her gaze never left his as the helmet clicked into place. "You're good to go."

She gave a nod, fought the urge to fumble at the back of her neck and got to her feet as the shuttle came to a stop, the doors sliding open to show the darkened interior of the Collector vessel.

She couldn't help wondering what had become of the Collectors once their ship had been crippled. In emergencies, all remaining power was usually directed into the vital systems, and that meant there was every possibility that some of them had survived.

"Shepard, the Collector ship should have a command module that will enable you to access the data. I have sent the co-ordinates for its probable location," EDI informed them, her voice small in Shepard's ear.

Shepard took a deep breath then jumped down onto the vessel. She stared round as they wound their way through the empty corridors towards the location EDI had supplied for them.

It was unlike anything she'd ever seen, twisting and organic with roughhewn corridors that led onto cavernous spaces. They were climbing one of the uneven slopes when EDI messaged them again, stopping Shepard in her tracks.

"Shepard, I have compared the ship's EM signature to known Collector profiles. It is the vessel you encountered on Horizon."

The same ship. She deliberately avoided looking at Garrus, instead choosing to stare down the deserted corridor.

"Maybe the defence towers softened it for the turians," she suggested, glancing round at what looked like the undamaged interior and discounting the idea instantly. There was something else afoot here.

Her sense of unease grew as they found an empty pod in one of the adjoining corridors, and next to it a pile of what appeared to be discarded human bodies, their limbs softened by decomposition. Their clothes marked them as some of the missing colonists, though from the state of them there was no way of knowing which colony they'd come from.

She crouched beside them, and forced herself to look at them. "What the hell are they doing? Are you getting this, Mordin?"

"Would guess they were discarded test subjects, unsure of reason behind it," Mordin replied.

Garrus circled the pile, examining them. "I'd say these subjects didn't pass."

Thane stood beside the bodies and clasped his hands together, his voice lifting in prayer. "Kalahira, Mistress of the Sea, soothe the pain of their passing with your endless mercy. May their passage over the sea be swift."

The words settled somewhere in Shepard's chest as she looked over the bodies. She placed little stock in such things, preferring the harsh reality of a gun and her fist, but this prayer was the only thing they could offer them now. Thane had granted them peace where she could not; he had found the words she could not say.

"We have to stop them before they do this again," Shepard said. She turned quickly away from the bodies and led Garrus and Thane further into the ship. Another pod caught her eye. This one was different, and when she looked into it she saw why. This one contained, of all things, a Collector.

"Why choose to experiment on one of their own?" asked Thane, looking intently at the Collector's corpse.

Shepard glanced at the body, fighting the rising sense of disquiet that engulfed her at the sight of it. "EDI, I'm uploading the data from this terminal. Can you tell us what they're doing?"

"Received, analysing. The Collectors were running baseline genetic comparisons between their species and humanity."

"Are they looking for similarities?"

"I have no hypothesis on their motivations. All I have is their preliminary results. They reveal something remarkable. A quad strand genetic structure, identical to traces collected at ancient ruins. Only one race is known to have this structure: The Protheans."

The word sent a shockwave down Shepard's spine. It was a word she'd heard bandied around by Liara in relation to a long gone civilisation. They seemed to her almost a myth, not the abomination lying in the pod beside her.

"So, the Protheans didn't vanish." Shepard frowned, running through the implications. "They're just working for the Reapers."

"These are no longer Protheans, Shepard. Their genes show distinct signs of extensive genetic rewrite. The Reapers have repurposed them to suit their needs."

Shepard couldn't help staring at the corpse. Was this the fate that awaited humans? To be repurposed and redesigned, to have all traces of defiance and individuality ruthlessly exterminated?

There were no easy answers.

Shepard took her gun out and set off, trying to put as much distance as she could between her and the Collectors' experiments. They wound through the corridors and into the next room, stopping to examine the sight of thousands more pods.

They covered the high ceiling, filling the entire room from top to bottom. The colonists from Horizon would have filled but a fraction of them.

"There must be hundreds of those damn things. Think anyone's alive in there?" Garrus asked, aiming his gun at one of them and squinting along the sights.

"I detect no signs of life in the pods, Shepard. It's probable the victims inside died when the ship lost primary power," EDI told them. Her words offered little comfort to those standing there and staring at the vast chamber.

"Well, that or whatever was inside already got out," Garrus said, shouldering his gun and moving off.

"That's right, always looking on the bright side, Garrus. Thanks for that."

"Always happy to help, Shepard."

They left the room, all of them on guard for the slightest movement as they weaved slowly through the corridors and up another steep slope, the darkness closing in all around them.

"Commander, you've got to hear this," Joker announced, and Shepard came to a halt, staring through the impenetrable darkness.

"On a hunch I asked EDI to run an analysis on this ship. I compared the EM profile against data recorded by the original _Normandy_ two years ago. They're an exact match."

This ship had been the author of her destruction. It had killed her and destroyed her ship; it had cast her crew to the corners of the galaxy and put an end to her pursuit of the Reapers. For a while at least.

It had come looking for her at Horizon, and it had found her now.

"Something doesn't add up, Commander," Joker said, rousing her from the slow dawning realisation that she was in more trouble than she could have imagined. "Watch your back."

Shepard forced herself into a run. She wanted to be done and out of there as fast as possible. The fate of her species was starting to look darker and darker, and their chances of survival remote. She was the only one standing against the Reapers. If she could show this to the Alliance, perhaps they would believe her at last.

She was still deep in thought when they surfaced from the darkness into the biggest chamber she'd ever seen, and the realisation finally hit her, rendering her speechless.

"This is unbelievable!" Garrus called out, staring up at the pods that seemed to go on forever.

Thane came to stand beside her, touching his shoulder to hers as he said quietly, "They could take every human in the Terminus Systems and still have room to spare."

Shepard nodded dumbly, unable to force the words from her throat. She knew what these pods were for.

Garrus stared at them, dropping his head slowly to focus on Shepard. "They're going to target Earth. The Colonists are just the start."

Shepard called her omni-tool up with shaking hands, glancing at the schematic EDI had created. "Let's find the command module and get out of here."

She couldn't help but run the rest of the way. She sprinted out onto the platform that held the module and tried to ignore the open space that yawned before them as she created the data bridge for EDI.

"You got that, EDI?"

"Data mine in progress, Shepard."

There was a sudden noise, and the green screen of the command module flickered off, followed by the deep rumble of something moving around the sides of the room.

"What the hell just happened?" Shepard asked. She peered into the dimly lit chamber for the source of the noise then looked at her companions.

"Major power surge. Everything went dark but we're back up now," Joker replied after an uneasy silence.

"I managed to divert the majority of the overload to non-critical systems," EDI told them calmly. "Shepard, this was not a malfunction. This was a trap."

"A trap?" Shepard repeated blankly, unwilling to believe those words.

There was a quiver of vibration in her feet then the platform lifted and started carrying them away into the dimly lit space before them. It glided through the darkness of the chamber, leaving them struggling to keep their footing on its smooth metallic surface.

"We need a little help here EDI," Shepard yelled, teetering forwards as the platform rolled beneath their feet.

EDI's infuriatingly calm voice responded. "I am having trouble maintaining the connection. There's someone else in the system."

Somebody else in the system. Shepard cursed out loud. The platform lurched, throwing them violently to one side and threatening to tip them all off. Her hand was in Thane's. She didn't remember reaching for him, but there they stood, hands clasped tightly as the platform came to a sudden halt. Garrus hadn't been so lucky.

He got slowly up off the floor, accepting a hand up from Shepard.

There was a whirring noise in the air behind them, and Shepard closed her eyes for a moment as the sound washed over her. She had walked straight into a trap with the only people she trusted. Now they were going to pay the price for her foolishness.

"Collectors incoming," Garrus warned, and she turned to look out through the gloom at the platforms moving towards them. Every one of them carried a handful of Collectors, and Shepard raised her sights to start counting.

"Connection re-established. I need to finish the download before I can override any systems."

"Whatever you're doing, do it fast, EDI," Shepard ordered, diving into cover. She brought her barrier up, and then threw a Shockwave at the nearest platform before flinging herself closer.

They worked fluidly together. Garrus chose a spot carefully and started picking targets off methodically, whilst Shepard and Thane got in close. They took turns using their biotics to lift collectors whilst the other fired, and Shepard found that she could choose her targets with more precision, throwing one off the side then ducking to reload.

At first she thought she'd imagined it over the noise of the fighting, the rasping words that crept into her head.

"Can you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Garrus replied over the comm, dropping a drone to her left as another platform floated in.

One of the Collectors burst into light, its body covered with crackling bright edges as if struggling to contain the energy that brimmed within it.

"That voice," Shepard muttered, lifting her sniper rifle to target the glowing collector.

"There is no voice."

"What? You can't…" Shepard tailed off, concentrating on the Collector and trying to ignore the insidious voice.

Thane followed suit, and with all three of them firing, it went down quickly. Another platform came in, and more Collectors started to swarm towards them, threatening to push them back.

"EDI, get a move on!" Shepard urged, reloading her gun as Thane leapt over the barrier and knocked one of the Collectors to the ground with a glowing swipe of his fist. She followed him over, swopping to her sub-machine gun and concentrating her fire on the new platform.

After a moment there was a heavy silence, unnatural after the violence that had ensued, and heavy with expectation.

"Shepard, you must manually re-establish my link to the command console," EDI prompted.

Shepard glanced around her then sprinted for the console, patching EDI back through as Garrus and Thane returned to her side.

"I have regained control of the platform, Shepard."

"Good work, EDI," Shepard said, holding onto the console as the platform drifted up into the air and headed back towards where they'd come in. "Did you get what we needed?"

"I found data that could help us successfully navigate the Omega-Four relay. I also found the turian distress call that served as a lure for this trap. The Collectors were the source. It is unusual."

"Why unusual?"

EDI's flickering cipher appeared on the console as she spoke to them. It was a reassuring sight in the unfamiliar surroundings of the Collector ship. "Turian emergency channels have secondary encryption. It is present but corrupted in the message. It is not possible that the Illusive Man would believe the distress call was genuine."

"You're sure about this?"

"I found the anomaly with Cerberus detection protocols. He wrote them."

There was no doubting it. He had lied to them, and she had lied to Garrus. She'd been willing to give Cerberus the benefit of the doubt, considering the fact that their goals seemed to be the same. Now Shepard saw the flaw in her plan that she had been trying to ignore all along.

Their methods were unacceptable. They had risked her life withholding information, and in turn she had risked the lives of those she cared about, leading them straight into a trap.

She'd made her peace with Cerberus, and this was what they had done to her in return.

"Cerberus is not known for keeping faith," Thane said. Garrus didn't speak, stepping off the platform back onto the solid ground of the ship and popping his heatsink.

"Uh, Commander."

"What is it, Joker?"

"We've got another problem. The Collector ship is powering up. You need to get out of there before their weapons come online. I'm not losing another _Normandy_."

Disappointment and guilt welled up into a blinding rage that consumed her. She was running before Joker had even finished speaking, following EDI's directions.

They hurtled back through the ship, Thane keeping pace at her side and Garrus just behind.

If they didn't make it back, it was all her fault. Dying there with her friends would be her punishment, and Shepard felt a clutch of despair at the thought of watching them die.

"Shepard!"

Thane knocked her to one side, and she landed heavily on her knees in time to see a blast pass close by her, followed closely by a swarm of Collectors.

Shepard stumbled to her feet and threw herself at the nearest creature, unloading her pistol into its head before knocking another one down with her biotics and stamping brutally on its skull.

A shot got through her barrier, knocking her backwards, and she lost it. Shepard charged across the room towards her assailant with a dagger in her hand. There was nothing but blood and fury as she laid into them, her lungs burning as she sought to destroy all before her. Nothing was going to keep her from the _Normandy_.

She dispatched the last one with help from Garrus, and then started running again.

"I'm opening a door on the far side of the room," EDI said as they emerged into another chamber. Shepard saw the door open and set off down the stairs towards it, catching a glimpse of movement in the air.

A Praetorian came gliding towards them, and Shepard skittered backwards into cover, too breathless even to swear.

She'd dealt with one back on Horizon, but it had been a drawn out battle. They could not afford that now.

"Joker," Shepard said, taking her rocket launcher out and snapping the ammo in with practised movements. "If we don't make it back, I want you to take the ship straight back to the Alliance and tell them everything."

"I'm not going anywhere without you, Shepard. We did that once before, remember?"

"That isn't a request. It's an order. Garrus, keep at the Praetorian. Thane, kill anything that moves."

Shepard fired her first rocket then followed it up with Reave, hoping to destroy its barriers before she had to get any closer. She fired again and again, darting down the stairs and scouting for cover whilst Garrus drew its fire.

She had to get closer. Shepard used Reave again, feeling the warning buzz in her head as she pushed her biotics, the low tingle of pain registering in her brain. She couldn't afford failure now. There had to be another way.

Taking her Tempest out, Shepard ran closer, spraying the Praetorian with machine gun fire as she rolled straight into cover behind it. The creature was starting to struggle now, no longer floating but scrambling over the ground towards her like a massive spider.

Shepard dived straight between its ungainly limbs, snatched a sticky grenade from her suit and stuck it on the exposed underbelly before diving for cover, flinging herself untidily over a barrier and landing face down.

There was pop followed by a strange fizzing noise. Finally there was silence.

Every part of her body was hurting but she forced herself up, stumbling over the barrier to see the remains of the Praetorian breaking down into poisonous dust.

Garrus and Thane sprinted down the slope towards her, and she took off without waiting for them, unwilling to waste another second of precious time. The corridors were starting to look familiar now, and she recognised where they were at last.

The realisation gave her impetus. She threw herself down the slope, finding herself confronted by a slew of oncoming husks. There were at least twenty, with more swarming up behind.

Shepard took her dagger out and threw herself into them, beheading one with a vicious twist of her blade before using Shockwave to clear their path. They made easy targets, their intelligence dimmed by whatever process had changed them, and Shepard dispatched two more with easy strokes of her blade.

As the second one fell she saw it, the scrap of uniform clinging to the corrupted flesh. On it was the logo that the colonists had worn on Horizon. These were the very people she had failed to rescue. They were like this because of her.

"No…"

Something hit her back, twisting her arm violently, and Shepard fell to the ground. It was then that she heard it, the sound that plagued her every nightmare. The warning scream of her hard suit. The inexorable hiss of escaping air.


	14. Waiting Arms

Shepard was fast, bounding ahead in her haste to reach the Normandy. She ploughed down the slope without waiting, and Thane caught sight of her blade glinting as she ran straight into the oncoming husks.

There were swarms of them. One affixed itself to Shepard's back, and he saw her crumple, the blade tumbling from her fingers.

Thane threw himself at the husk, driving his fist clean through its head. He expected Shepard to rise, to scramble to her feet with a curse or a thank you. Instead he heard her scream, her hands scrabbling at the back of her suit.

"She's losing pressure," Garrus spat, knocking two of the husks aside with a sweep of his gun. He grabbed Shepard round the middle, and started to pull her down the slope, leaving Thane to clear a path.

He could hear her through his comm, tearing gasps that he tried to shut out. He knew her lungs would be burning as the oxygen left her suit, remembered the pain it brought, and the pervading panic with a clarity that he sometimes wished he could forget.

He had to focus if they were going to make it to the shuttle alive. Thane set himself to his task, ploughing through the husks and hurtling down the slope to cover Garrus as he followed at a slower pace.

Thane picked off two husks then turned his attention back to Garrus. He had slowed down, and Thane saw immediately why. Shepard was writhing in his arms, her back arched and her limbs splayed as she flung her head back and fought uselessly against the oxygen deprivation, and the iron grasp of her nightmares.

She had been afraid of this choking death, and Thane remembered what she had said to him. _I die every night, in my dreams._

He could hear Garrus talking to her, trying to reassure her even as she weighed him down like an anchor. She was beyond even his reach now.

Thane hurried onwards, rounded the corner and found the shuttle waiting, bright in the darkness of the corridor and barely twenty feet away.

There was no time to lose. Thane turned back to Garrus, took hold of Shepard's legs, and between them they carried her into the shuttle, collapsing down onto the floor as the door shut slowly behind them. There was the reassuring hiss of air filling the chamber, and Thane turned his attention to the figure struggling against him.

"Hold her arms," Thane ordered, straddling Shepard's legs and tearing his breather off. Blood ran down her suit in dark ribbons, and Thane cast his memory back to the moment he'd seen her knocked backwards on board the Collector ship. He'd assumed that her armour had taken the worst of it, but from the amount of blood, it looked like his assumption had been wrong.

He reached out, her struggles weakening beneath him, and undid the seals of her helmet. There was no hiss of trapped air. The instant he took the helmet off he saw the desperate panic on her face, her eyes rolling wildly in their sockets.

"Shepard, look at me."

She lolled her head to one side and Thane grabbed her chin, leaning close to blow gently across her face.

Shepard took a shuddering gasp, closed her eyes and sagged forwards against him as she fought to get her breath back. For long seconds she didn't move. Her breath was hot against his skin.

Thane looked past her at the turian still holding her arms, and nodded. There was no way of seeing his expression with the helmet still on, but from the way Garrus released her and slumped backwards, Thane thought he detected relief.

The shuttle lurched, beginning the usual docking routine, and reminded them all that they weren't out of danger yet.

Shepard sprang to her feet. She stared resolutely at the door, poised ready to fly, and threw herself through before it was fully open, leaving smears of blood on the door seal.

"Go after her," Garrus said, walking past Thane. "We both know you're faster than me, and she sure as hell won't be on her feet long."

Thane acknowledged him without a word and took off after her, guessing correctly that she would make straight for the cockpit to make sure they were safe before allowing herself to feel anything.

The ship bucked wildly beneath his feet, and he saw a bright flash through the windows of the cockpit as he fought his way up the corridor.

Shepard was dark against the stars, one arm wrapped around her side and the other clinging onto Joker's chair as explosions rocked the ship.

"I can't dodge this guy forever, EDI. Get us the hell out of here!" Joker shouted, screens lighting up all around him.

"Specify a destination, Mister Moreau."

"Anywhere that's not here!" Joker yelled.

"Very well. Engaging mass effect core."

The ship gave a jump. Stars started to streak past them as EDI finally fired the mass effect core and sent them hurtling, out into the waiting arms of space.

-0-

They'd made it. They'd escaped the ship that was determined to haunt her footsteps, having already killed her once. This time they had survived, along with the data that she hoped would be the Collectors' undoing.

Shepard let go of Joker's seat, her head swimming as relief and pain flooded through her. Her side was starting to ache, and when she touched her hand to it the glove came away red.

"We made it," she muttered, wincing as she turned to limp out of the cockpit. "We made it. I don't believe it."

Joker adjusted his cap and looked up at her. "No thanks to the bastard that sent us in there. 'It's disabled,' he said, 'why not pop on board and get your ass handed to you on a plate.' I hope you're gonna be having words with him, Commander, and two of those words better be Off and Fuck."

Right now she couldn't think of a single thing she wanted to say to the Illusive Man. All she wanted to do was put her fist through his smug face for the risk he'd made them take. The pain in her side wasn't helping.

She watched Thane step slowly into the cockpit, his eyes never once leaving hers.

"Hey, Commander, I know this ship is Cerberus and all, but do you think you could stop bleeding all over it?" Joker said, and Shepard looked down at herself. There was blood on Joker's seat, and some on the floor.

"Sure. Well done, Joker, and EDI," Shepard said faintly, reaching out for Thane as her legs threatened to give way. He slipped his arm around her waist, supporting her as she dragged her unwilling body towards the elevator. Colours were starting to run into each other. Her heart was throbbing in her ears.

She laid her head on the cool wall of the elevator, only to jerk herself awake as though she'd started falling again.

"Cora?" His voice reached through the haze of pain as nothing else could, and Shepard allowed Thane to swing her into his arms for the last few metres, no longer trusting her legs.

They had a familiar ritual, Doctor Chakwas and Shepard, from the innumerable times Shepard found herself in there getting patched up. Chakwas had the pain relief ready and she injected Shepard almost the second the door opened, assessing her with a practised eye.

"Ah, no time to use medi-gel I presume. Well, let's get you on here and see what you've done to yourself this time," Chakwas said briskly, motioning towards the nearest bed.

Thane helped Shepard to the bed, setting her down carefully. She closed her eyes, swayed slightly for a moment, then started wrenching her weapons off and thrusting them at him, filling his arms with guns.

"Take these," she muttered, pulling another dagger out of a pocket on her leg and adding it to the pile.

Shepard let herself rest for a moment, then started removing her armour. She stripped right down to her skin tight under-suit then started examining the wound.

The gash in her side was a pulpy streak of flesh and bone against the darkness of her suit. Shepard guessed that at least one of her ribs had been hit when the shot got through her barrier.

When she looked up, Thane was still standing over her, blinking rapidly before looking away.

"You were wrong," Shepard rasped, sinking back against the bed as the painkillers started to thrum through her system.

"Wrong?" Thane asked, frowning at her. "I do not understand."

"The worst isn't behind me. The worst is if the Collectors get to Earth, and I can't stop them."

"We're going to need that suit off," Chakwas instructed. Shepard didn't need telling twice. She sat up and grabbed the fabric at either side of the wound, ripping it clean through to expose her belly and lower ribcage. The fresh wave of pain made the room spin, and she sucked her breath in as the clotted fabric dragged at the wound and set it bleeding anew.

Shepard looked up at Doctor Chakwas, her hands still holding onto the fabric of her suit. Her eyes flicked to Thane for just a second.

"Thank you for all your help, Sere Krios. I'm sure the Commander would appreciate it if you dropped those off for her," Chakwas said, guiding Thane smoothly out the door.

"Right, where were we?"

Thane stood holding the armful of weapons, unable to banish the image of what he'd just seen. He'd seen injuries before, having inflicted them himself and suffered through similar wounds, but the sight of Shepard pale and shivering broke through his defences.

He heard heavy footsteps approaching. Garrus.

"How is she? Ah, I was just coming to get those," he said, holding out his arms for the guns.

Thane was slow to respond, and the turian looked at him carefully, glancing at the closed door. "Did she strip off? You hang around with Shepard long enough you eventually get to see her naked."

"Ah."

_The fabric torn, the light flesh emerging from beneath the blood stained suit, and the wound blooming like a rose on her side. _

"No."

Garrus clicked his mandibles, his arms tightening round the guns. "You got that other dagger?"

Garrus noticed everything. He always noticed everything, from the way Thane found himself looking at Shepard to the simple act of collecting the dagger she'd dropped. Thane was under no illusion that he had done something to offend Garrus. That something related to Shepard.

"Here," Thane said, handing the dagger over to Garrus. "I am sure she would appreciate a visit."

"I've seen Shepard bleed enough for one day. There was something I wanted to ask you."

Thane straightened, loosening his hands behind his back and making note of the closest weapon.

"Did you hear that voice she mentioned?"

There had been no voice that Thane had heard, but he had seen the strange form of the glowing Collector, and the way it seemed to focus on Shepard, always turning in her direction.

"I confess I did not. I was unaware that the Collectors are targeting Shepard specifically. Perhaps this is linked, as unlikely as it seems."

Garrus nodded, looking distracted as he cradled the weapons in his arms. He was obviously worried about her, and given the fact that the Collectors seemed intent upon Shepard, Thane couldn't help sharing the sentiment.

"Maybe," Garrus replied. "Once she's patched up, I'll ask if EDI has any more information, see if she found anything. This whole thing seems too much like coincidence—the same ship, and now this…"

"Agreed, although there is a logical explanation," Thane told him. "If you are looking to break any enemy, it makes sense to destroy their strongest point. The rest will fall accordingly."

"So you're saying Shepard is their greatest threat. Makes sense. Hell, they killed her and all it did was piss her off. Anyway, I'd better get these seen to," Garrus said, finally turning his attention back to Thane.

Thane expected Garrus to leave. Instead the turian hesitated, gathering the weapons close as he spoke.

"There is one other thing. If you hurt her, we're going to have a problem."

"I shall bear that in mind," Thane responded politely, dipping his head and walking away.

He deserved Garrus' anger, for what did he have to offer Shepard beyond his gift for taking life? He had no future, and no reason to hope that she wished to share anything of his life before he crossed the sea.

Her burden was already too great to ask her to carry the heart of a dying man. His feelings for her, and the foolish desire that she had kindled in him, must remain buried deep in the heart that she had awoken.


	15. Unfinished Business

Shepard sat down carefully at her desk, closing her eyes in a bid to calm the dizziness that her painkillers inflicted upon her. The pain still burnt low in her side, flaring up whenever she moved.

"EDI?" Shepard asked, opening her eyes. "Can you get everyone up here?"

"Of course, Commander."

She needed to speak with them about everything that the Illusive Man had just told her. Through the haze of painkillers she'd heard some surprises, but nothing to assuage the feeling of betrayal that had taken root deep within her. She had made her attempt at trusting Cerberus, and it had nearly cost the life of her friends. There was no going back from this.

The door opened, and Shepard looked up as Miranda arrived. She paced, glancing at Shepard then back at the door as Garrus filed in.

Shepard had chosen her room for a number of reasons. She needed to be off her feet. And it was the only room without any surveillance bugs. Tali had made sure of that. The Illusive Man was getting nothing from her without a fight.

Thane arrived last, his face expressionless as he took his place at the back.

"I've spoken to the Illusive Man about the Collector ship. He's admitted that he sent us into a trap, and that he knew about it," she told them, noting Miranda's agitation and Garrus' malevolent stare directed at the Cerberus personnel. "He was the only one aware of this. Am I right, Miranda?"

Miranda looked almost hurt. "Of course, I wouldn't…I mean…"

"You can speak freely in here. Cerberus can't hear us, I made sure of that."

"I had no idea, Shepard. You don't have to believe me," she said, glancing at Garrus.

"I believe you. Regardless of the trap, it looks like we got what we went in for," Shepard said, wincing as she reached out to tap her terminal. The screen above her desk lit up to show a large map. "EDI, would you care to explain?"

"Certainly, Shepard. The Reapers and the Collector ships use an advanced identity Friend/Foe system that enables them to navigate the Omega-Four relay safely. I have also determined the approximate location of the Collector home world based on navigational data from their vessel."

The map zoomed in and pinpointed the location right in the heart of the galaxy.

Miranda frowned and leant forwards to look closer. "That can't be right."

"EDI hasn't been wrong yet. Their home world is somewhere in the galactic core," Shepard said.

"Can't be," Jacob announced. "The core is just black holes and exploding suns, there are no habitable planets there."

"Where's the best place to hide?" Kasumi piped up. "The last place anyone would look? Through a relay no one else can get through? Sounds like the perfect place if you ask me."

Shepard nodded. "Exactly. We've seen what the Reapers can do, and the Collectors are working for them. There's no reason why they couldn't do something like this."

"Of course," Miranda said. "Who's to say it's a planet? Why not something artificial built by the Reapers? With strong enough mass effect fields they can put whatever the hell they wanted in there. The Reapers did create the mass relays after all."

Garrus ignored the map, turning his attention to Shepard. "So all we need is the device that will get us through the relay? I hate to break it to you, Shepard, but we were just on a Collector vessel, and I don't remember picking one up on my way out."

"Could make one," Mordin said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Though without more information, process could take time."

"There's no need. Cerberus has found a derelict Reaper orbiting a brown dwarf near Klendagon. They sent a team, but lost contact not long after they boarded," Shepard told them, waving her hand vaguely at the screen as it showed a map of the Reapers location. "I'll let you make of that what you will."

"What was the word they used last time?" Garrus said. "Disabled? Derelict doesn't sound a whole lot more reassuring. We're not making the same mistake again. Last time we listened to Cerberus we almost ended up dead."

"Cerberus got us this far, but I agree, and that is why I called you all here. We can't rely on Cerberus. I need to be able to rely on all of you if we're going to do this. I want you all ready, no distractions, no petty arguments," she said, letting her eyes linger on Garrus. "If you have any unfinished business that needs taking care of before we commit to this, then you need to let me know. I want your head in the game. That goes for all of you, is that clear?"

There was a mutter, the shuffling of feet, and – from what Shepard could gather – a sense of agreement. "Good, now if you'll excuse me, I need to get some rest. Kasumi, Garrus, could you wait?"

Shepard got slowly to her feet and limped to her sofa. She sat down heavily and grabbed one of the emergency food bars she kept there.

"Kasumi, I believe Cerberus owes you a debt. What did they promise you?"

Kasumi sat down next to her, ignoring Garrus who paced on the other side of the room.

"There's something I need to retrieve. An item of personal value. It's being held by a man named Donovan Hock. I have a plan for getting it back, but I'll need your help."

"You can have it. Give me the destination, and I'll get us there as soon as I can. Was there anything else?" Shepard asked.

"No, this will be enough. Once I have that I'm all yours, Shep. You rest up. You're going to need it."

She left, and Shepard turned her attention back to Garrus. He was examining the dagger he'd returned earlier.

"You're lucky I'm in this state, otherwise I'd be attempting to hit you right about now," she said weakly, laying her head back on the sofa. "Why did you have to tell everyone that the Collectors are looking for me?"

"I figured it was kind of important," he said, leaning against the desk. "Did EDI find anything? Or are we still in the dark, waiting for Cerberus to jerk us around some more?"

"We've got a way of getting through the relay, all we need to do is go and get it, and we don't need Cerberus for that. What I need you to do is stop acting like an arse and knuckle down."

"Avoiding the question again?"

"No. There is nothing to tell. They found no information about me. EDI has her own theory on the matter."

"Which is?"

"The Collectors are controlled by the Reapers. It's the Reapers that are looking for me; the Collectors are just doing what they're told. EDI thinks the derelict could offer more clues," she admitted, stifling a yawn. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm about to pass out."

Garrus lingered, and Shepard suspected he wanted to say something else, but whatever it was, it would have to wait. She could feel sleep dragging her down. Exhaustion had pushed her body to the brink.

He left without another word, and Shepard tumbled into bed fully clothed. The covers were cool against her skin, and for a second she wished there was someone warm against her. Another breath, and she fell into sweet oblivion. Her unfinished business would have to wait.

-0-0-0-

Thane knew she was there the moment he opened the door, from the scent of her usual tea and the soft singing. She was exactly the person that he had been wishing to avoid, but something about the sound of her voice drew him in.

Shepard was bent over the table, her head resting on her hands. She was singing quietly to herself - an unfamiliar song with words he couldn't quite catch. There was a steaming cup of tea at one elbow and an open packet of food at the other.

He deliberately made his steps heavier so as not to startle her, then made his way over to the table. "Shepard?"

She turned and winced, rubbing at her side. "Thane. Hello. Why don't you join me? I am currently under the influence of painkillers and open to suggestions. I might even share my biscuits with you."

She looked sleepy. Her cheeks were flushed. The black of her hair was messier than usual. Thane knew that he ought to go back to bed, but the welcoming smile on her face and the mischievous twinkle in her eye were hard to resist.

"I had assumed you'd be asleep," Thane said, making himself a pot of tea that he brought over to the table and set beside Shepard. "Are your nightmares troubling you?"

She looked at him keenly. They both knew what her nightmares were made of. Considering the incident aboard the Collector ship, it was a logical conclusion.

"Yes," Shepard replied, sadness in her voice. She turned back to her work and sipped her tea. "Those, and my unfinished business. There are things I need to take care of, in case we don't come back."

"I see." Thane sat down beside her. He regretted taking the smile from her face. "What were you singing?"

"A folk song somebody taught me. It's about a lover that goes to war and never comes home."

"Is there…somebody you are leaving behind?" Thane asked.

"A lover? Ha, no. Not for a long time," Shepard said, her hands stilling on the datapad she clutched. "There are things I will regret leaving though, people I should have made peace with. If there's anything all of this has taught me, it is not to waste second chances – time is so short, and you never know when the end is coming." She rubbed the back of her neck, sighing deeply. " '_Then on the shore of the wide world I stand alone, and think, til love and fame to nothingness do sink_.' "

Thane looked at her, hesitating over the urge to touch her. "I do not recognise your words."

"It's nothing, just… something an old friend taught me. When I was dying, when I knew that was it… I was so afraid. There were so many things I hadn't said and…"

Shepard stared across the room, lost in thought.

"Today, when I thought it was going to happen again, just like last time, and somewhere, in the fear, I couldn't help thinking of all the things I wished I'd done. All the words I hadn't said," Shepard said quietly, lapsing into silence.

After a moment, she roused herself and turned to look at him. "Thane, when you found out about Kepral's, you can't have been as accepting as you are now."

He had been accepting, but now nothing seemed as clear as it had been. He had always believed that he would pass over the sea to be with Irikah, but now he felt something calling him back to life with a painful longing he could barely contain.

"I wasn't at first. That was a difficult time, learning of my fate and realising there was no escape. I buried myself in memories in a bid to forget, to numb the pain of my diagnosis, yet the one thing we cannot hide from is the truth," Thane admitted, knitting his fingers together.

"What do you mean, hid in your memories?" Shepard asked gently.

"Drell have perfect memories. It can be difficult to control at times. Some of us disappear into… let's call it solipsism. Our memories can feel as real as life, as valid as life."

Thane let his thoughts drift for a moment before collecting himself.

"Thinking about a moment brings back the smell of cut grass, the warmth of another's hand on yours, the taste of another's tongue in your mouth. It is easier to lose yourself in these memories. It is the only form of forgetting a drell can ever hope to find."

"I had no idea," Shepard murmured, cupping her tea to her face. Thane could not help but watch her, the steam rising into her hair, eyelashes fluttering against her cheek.

"So many things to remember. I think I'd rather forget," she said, putting her cup down. "That memory you had, the one about the sunset coloured eyes – was that a good memory or a bad one?"

"Ah, that time. A bystander noticed my spotting laser and threw herself between me and the target. She couldn't see me, but she stared me down."

"Did you take the shot?"

"Not that day. To answer your question, that memory is a little of both. She was… a vivid person." He stopped, unwilling to pursue that memory any further. "It seems that as humans you remember the bad memories more clearly than the good."

"I suppose they help us learn. There are good things I remember." Shepard screwed up her face as she thought, staring into her empty cup.

"Allow me," Thane said, pouring her another drink.

"The first time I ate biscuits," she said suddenly, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I never knew my parents. I spent years dodging the authorities, fending for myself on the streets. One day I met a little boy called Simon, and he took me home to his family."

She leant back, her expression faraway. It was as close as he had seen a human get to losing themselves in a memory.

"It was warm, and they had pictures on the walls and furniture. His mother, his adoptive mother as it turned out, sat me down and gave me a plate of biscuits. They smelt so good. I ate them all. They still make me think of home."

Shepard shook herself and gave a small smile.

"I see now, why you do not think of Earth as your home. It is hard to think of anywhere as home without those that make it so." He thought of his own home, long gone now, and what had been waiting for him behind the door.

"I used to think of the _Normandy_ as home. I suppose I still do. The people I care about are here," Shepard said, tucking her hair behind her ear and biting into a biscuit. "Would you like one?"

Thane accepted her offer. He had eaten human food before, but not these. They were crunchy yet sweet, peppered with bursts of chocolate that melted on his tongue.

Shepard yawned, tried to stifle it behind her hand, and failed.

"I am sure this unfinished business can wait a little longer."

"It can, but I'm not going back in there yet. I might take a few more painkillers first, see if I can get any higher," she replied, laying her head down on the table and shutting her eyes. "Thank you, though. You don't have to stay up."

Both of them were broken, but somewhere at the ends of the galaxy they had found each other when all seemed lost. He would gladly have stayed with her, but the temptation to do something rash was too strong.

"Goodnight, Cora. I…appreciate these chats we have," he said, getting to his feet.

She stirred, her eyes opening slowly. "You've been alone for so long, it can't have been easy."

"Work fulfilled me. Reading. I barely spoke to anyone outside my family. It seems there will be no one to mourn me when I die. You're the only friend I've made in ten years," Thane admitted.

"Friend? Huh." Shepard sat up, rubbed her eyes and sifted restlessly through her datapads. "That's… a start."

"A start?" Thane repeated, watching her as she fidgeted with a datapad. "That's intriguing. You know where I am, if you need me."

She made a noise, and Thane saw her hunch over the table as a pink flush crept across her skin.

He walked reluctantly back to his room and got into bed. Once there, he searched for the source of her words on his omni-tool. It was from an old English poem. As he read the words, they sank into his memory, her voice threading through his thoughts.

In amongst all the endings of his life, and the endings that were sure to come, she was offering him a start. Something to hold onto. Something to guide him back from the darkness and back into the light he had closed his eyes to so long ago.


	16. Thread of sound

The dress was too tight, her side was itching and the knife was digging into her thigh, but all Shepard could think about was those words. _A start._ She knew that she shouldn't have said them, shouldn't have offered Thane hope of a future they couldn't possibly have.

One of the crew members sidled over to her. "Uh, Commander?"

"What?" Shepard heard the snarl in her voice and checked herself, knowing it was no use taking her irritation out on everyone else. She could do that once she had a gun in her hand.

"You asked for a copy of the inventory." The crew member looked nervous, and Shepard tried to remember his name as she checked over the list that Kasumi had assembled.

So far, Shepard knew little about the mission, beyond the fact that she was attending a party and that she was supposed to arrive in style. That explained swopping from the shuttle to a hired transport once they reached Bekenstein, and the awful dress Kasumi had tried to foist onto her.

She'd managed to get out of wearing it solely on the fact that it revealed the medi-gel weave on her ribs. The replacement was an inky black dress that draped loose over her front, disguising her injury, and offering more in the way of stretch should she have to fight.

Shepard let her eyes scan over the gleaming statue of Saren, then handed the inventory back. "That's all, Parker."

"Commander." He took off across the loading bay, and Shepard stalked back into the corner. She was annoyed and, above all, miserable. She'd barely slept the night before, tormented by nightmares of the Collector ship. Every time she closed her eyes there was nothing but endless pods waiting to be filled, and the harsh scream of her suit alarm.

Lying awake gave her no relief either. Instead she'd thought of Thane, iridescent beneath the buttery yellow light of the mess hall, and the way her traitorous mouth had run away with her.

_A start._

Thane was dying. She had to stop the Collectors before they reached Earth. If she allowed herself to lose focus, even for a second, then the consequences were dire. That left her with one option – to put a stop to their relationship before it even got started.

Shepard patted her leg, felt the comforting outline of the knife strapped to her thigh, and turned back to look for Kasumi. Someone was walking towards her, and it was not the thief. It was Thane.

Shepard shuffled her feet, uncomfortable in the ridiculous shoes she'd chosen, and tried to meet his gaze.

"Kasumi informed me that you are attending a party, and that the host is a Mister Donavan Hock."

"Then you know more than I do," Shepard said, attempting a smile. Thane frowned slightly in response, and she let the smile slip away. "What is it?"

"Hock has something of a reputation. I could go with you, if you wished."

"You'd have to ask Kasumi. This is her mission, and she's told me next to nothing. I can't make the decision for her."

"You could, but you won't," Thane replied, a hint of resignation in his voice.

She reached for him, snagging his hand in her own as she searched for all the things she wanted to say. Thane raised his dark eyes to her, and all her words fell away as she saw the expression of hope kindled there.

"Aren't you going somewhere?"

Shepard felt Thane withdraw his hand from hers, and the irritation she'd been holding back flooded through her at the sound of Garrus' voice. She was in front of him before she could stop herself.

"Do not start with me, Vakarian. You have no idea what you're talking about."

Garrus drew back slightly and Shepard felt her anger drain away.

She grabbed his arm, and marched him out of the loading bay, down the corridor and into the cramped supply room.

Once in, she let the door shut and turned to face him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone off at you like that. It's just…"

Garrus leant back, folded his arms, and waited.

"I might have said something to give Thane the wrong idea, but I'm going to sort it out as soon as we get back."

"So Alenko follows you around mooning over you with those big brown eyes of his, and you don't even notice. But you meet an assassin, the most deadly assassin in the galaxy who also happens to be an entirely different species from you, and you 'give him the wrong idea'?" Garrus sat down on a crate, his armoured knees brushing her bare legs. "Are you sure this is something you want to get into?"

"I don't know. But, for the record, I did notice Kaidan, but he's…he was my friend and that's it. He did try and take things further—"

"The night before Ilos," Garrus said. "And you turned him down."

"I know what's at stake here. When we get back I'll talk to him. I know he'll understand." She felt the sting of disappointment, and shut it down quickly.

"Look, Shepard, this isn't about the Reapers or Cerberus, this is about you." Garrus took the uncharacteristic step of initiating contact, getting to his feet and putting his hand awkwardly on her shoulder. "You don't do things by halves. When you set yourself to something, you give it everything you've got. But nothing, not even you, can change the fact that he's dying. You give your heart to Thane, and he's taking it with him."

She knew Garrus was right, but she couldn't help the small traitorous thought that crossed her mind. _You've built a career on performing the impossible_. Thane believed in her. He had placed his faith in her, and she was backing away.

"I can't believe I'm taking advice on my love life from a turian," Shepard said, raising her chin. "Does your species even have this problem? I thought it was all arranged marriages?"

"I wouldn't believe everything you hear. And I'm not a very good turian," Garrus grumped, allowing Shepard to remove his hand and open the door.

"No, I'd noticed," she said, setting off back towards the loading bay. "I seem to be a crappy excuse for a human being. I mean I'm, what, at least fifty percent Cerberus tech now? We'll have to muddle through, being terrible representations of our species."

She heard Garrus laugh, saw the scars on the side of his face, and remembered the rush of terror she'd felt at the idea of losing him. Shepard came to an abrupt halt. "Garrus?"

He stopped in the doorway and looked back at her. "What?"

"If…when I do this. Will you, I mean, you'll still be—"

"I'm not going anywhere."

Shepard nodded. She could do this. "Then it's deal. I'll talk to Thane when I get back."

"Okay. At least we can be bitter and lonely together."

"I can't wait," Shepard said with a smile. She entered the loading bay and scanned around to find Kasumi waiting. "What a future we have planned."

"It's not all bad. At least you'll have the pleasure of my company until you kill us both with one of your insane plans."

"That is true. When you put it like that, I can't wait to get us both killed."

Garrus laughed, and gave her a gentle nudge towards Kasumi. "Go have fun at your party, and this time make sure you kill the mercs instead of just maiming them."

Shepard rolled her eyes at him then clambered into the shuttle beside the thief. The lights died down. The engines roared to life. In the dark, the statue of Saren gleamed.

If this was Kasumi's idea of a party gift, she had her doubts about the host.

-0-0-0-0-

The numbers didn't make any sense. Garrus had calibrated that unit a couple of hours ago, only for it to go straight back to the same mess.

"Damn Cerberus tech."

Joker's voice sounded over the comm. "Hey Garrus, I hate to interrupt your fun, but you have to hear this."

"What?"

Sound blared through the comm system, a rapid stutter of shots followed by what sounded like an explosion. Then Garrus heard Shepard's voice, almost lost amidst the chaos. "Kasumi? Kasumi, what the hell are you playing at?"

That didn't sound much like any party he'd ever been to, apart from that one time with Shepard, and neither of them liked to talk about that one.

"She just requested an emergency evac," Joker said.

"Patch me through."

"Sure. There you go."

Garrus listened for a second, gauging the sounds that filled his head. "Shepard?"

There was a scream, a heavy thud then another round of gunfire. "What? Shit, you didn't tell me….Damn it, Garrus, I could do with a—"

Her voice was cut off, and Garrus started towards the shuttle bay, grabbing his gun from his bunk and checking the mods as he walked. The transmission resumed, and he heard Shepard muttering curses. At least she was all right.

"Shepard, I was thinking about crashing your party. Think you can hang on until we get there?"

"I'll do my best."

Garrus cut the transmission. "EDI, can you get Thane down here? And Samara. If you could ask Miranda for a pilot—"

"Already on it," Miranda interrupted. "The shuttle will be ready to go in two. I've had some ammo loaded to be on the safe side."

Garrus couldn't help feeling a grudging sense of gratitude.

Thane was waiting for him by the shuttle. His guns were already neatly stowed.

Garrus had thought of Thane before he'd even really considered what he was doing. Even if he didn't trust Thane as Shepard did, he trusted him enough to look out for her. Right now that was what mattered.

Garrus got in, watched Thane sit down opposite, and thought over what Shepard had said. He almost felt sorry for the guy. Kaidan had been bad but this was worse. At least Shepard hadn't led Kaidan on.

He thought back to their conversation in the tiny supply room, to the defeated slump of her shoulders as she talked about Thane. Stripped of its protective carapace of armour, her long human body seemed more fragile than usual, and Garrus couldn't stop the sudden doubt from creeping into his mind.

She'd been happy for a long time, but hooking up with a dying assassin wasn't going to help. Surely she was better off staying clear.

Samara arrived, and the door closed behind her as the engines started. "What are we dealing with?" she asked calmly. Garrus realized he didn't have a clue, beyond jumping to the conclusion that Shepard was in too deep as usual.

"Their attempt at stealing has not gone unnoticed. Given Hock's reputation I am unsurprised," Thane said calmly.

"You know about this Hock guy?"

"Of course. One of my contacts was most illuminating on the subject, though I admit they made no mention of a private army."

"What?" Garrus no longer felt surprised by the fact that Shepard got herself into dangerous situations on a regular basis. He saved that for every time they made it out alive.

"Shepard may have mentioned it. I assumed you were listening in."

At least one of them had their head in the game.

"Shepard is a capable warrior. She is more than able to hold her own until we arrive," Samara said. She closed her eyes and gathered a bright ball of energy between her hands.

Garrus opened up the transmission again. "Hey Shepard, mind if I bring a few guests? I know one of them is dying to see you."

-0-0-0-0-

Garrus' voice was small in her ear over the sound of gunfire, a thread of sound that she held onto.

"Garrus, I'm going to kill you. If he doesn't kill you first."

Shepard rolled out of cover and shot the merc to her left, watching another merc step up to take his place. She had already resorted to scavenging ammo, and her last missile had been used long ago. With a heavy mech incoming, the situation looked even worse than usual.

"Tell me you're bringing more ammo," Shepard asked, getting back into cover and reloading.

"Wouldn't be a party without gifts."

"Two minutes to arrival," she heard the shuttle pilot announce, and Shepard decided to turn her attention to the remaining mech.

"Kasumi?"

"Still here, Shep."

"We need to take that YMIR down before the shuttle comes in. Think you can help?"

"Sure, I'll be right there."

Shepard dodged her way towards the mech, taking care to avoid the rockets it spewed at her. It was sure to run out eventually, but she couldn't take the chance it would hit the shuttle first.

"What did you have in mind?" Kasumi asked, materialising next to her.

"I'll hold its attention. You sneak up behind and give it this," Shepard said, pressing a sticky grenade into Kasumi's hand. "Make sure you place it next to the connector on the back."

"I know where to put it," Kasumi admonished, vanishing again.

Shepard swopped to her submachine gun, brought her biotics to life and peeked around the rail at the mech. It started towards her, and she used her Tempest to keep it occupied.

There was a faint crackle. Shepard caught sight of a distortion in the air just behind the mech. It swung instantly, and Shepard placed herself in full sight.

"This way, you bastard!"

It stepped towards her, guns readying, and with a hiss of hydraulics it started a step it would never finish. The grenade went off, a cloud of heat and debris washing over her as she flung her arms up instinctively. Her barrier held the damage off, and when the smoke cleared she saw the mech in a twisted pile on the floor.

"Ten seconds to arrival."

Shepard couldn't help smiling. It didn't look like there would be much of a party after all.

Then she heard it. A whine that filled the air and took her straight back to that day on Omega.

"Garrus, there's a—"

The gunship opened fire, and Shepard threw herself at the ground as the air shimmered with bullets. Somewhere in the distance she heard the sound of the shuttle's engines approaching.

"Wait! Damn it, Garrus! There's a gunship, don't—"

She rolled upright, just in time to catch a glimpse of the shuttle taking evasive manoeuvres. It wouldn't be enough. Shepard leapt towards the gunship, her biotics flaring into life, and reached for it.

The gunship was beyond her powers, but she managed to jink it slightly to the left as it fired, sending the rocket off course by a fraction.

That fraction was enough. The rocket hit one of the engines at the back, and smoke streamed from the shuttle as it passed overhead on a downward trajectory. She'd managed to prevent a direct hit, but it hadn't been enough to keep the shuttle airborne.

"Garrus?" Shepard yelled, pivoting to keep the shuttle in sight. "Garrus?"

Bullets slammed into her barrier and Shepard hit the floor, the breath knocked out of her. She could no longer hear the shuttle's last engine over the whine of the approaching gunship. As she pressed her face to the floor, she felt the vibration of a far off impact travel through her skull.

The shuttle was down.


	17. Bruises

Thane moved quickly, the dim emergency lights no obstacle.

"Samara, take Garrus," he ordered, yanking the emergency door release then pushing the cockpit door open.

The pilot didn't look up, her knuckles white as she gripped the steering column. "If I can just—."

"There's no time," Thane said, dragging her from the seat and out of the cockpit. Samara and Garrus had already left, and the world outside was a blur as the shuttle plunged downwards.

Thane put his arms tightly round the unresisting pilot, and with a last glance he kicked off the side of the shuttle. It took a split second to align himself with the ground, then he brought his biotics to life just in time to cushion their impact.

The human in his arms gave a shriek, tensing as they landed gracefully in the undergrowth.

The gunship was still firing. Thane released the pilot and listened intently to the sounds of battle drifting towards them from the platform.

"This wasn't exactly what I had in mind," Garrus said, sprinting through the trees with Samara at his side. He took a pistol from his side, handed it to the pilot, and then turned to Thane.

"You got any heavy weapons ammo?"

Before Thane could respond, Garrus took his supply and pressed it into Thane's hands.

"Take this to her. It sounds like she needs it. We'll make our own way up," Garrus said, his gaze flicking over the pilot.

Thane took off, moving silently through the undergrowth towards the pipes that would give him easy access to the landing pad. He could hear Shepard's gun, answered by assault rifle fire and the constant whine of the gunship.

Once up on the platform, it was easy to spot her. The mercs swarmed towards her position, and the gunship appeared to have her in its sights. There was no sign of Kasumi – not that he had expected any.

Thane gravitated towards Shepard, dispatching any mercs that had the misfortune of stumbling across his path. There were few of them left now, and he caught a glimpse of Kasumi materialising as she punched a merc, crumpling him to the floor before vanishing again.

The gunship would present the biggest problem. The team's resupply of heavy weapons ammo had gone down with the shuttle, leaving them with only their personal supplies. The sound of Shepard's pistol told him all he needed to know. If she had any heavy weapons ammo she wouldn't have hesitated to use it.

He caught sight of her, exposed by the lack of cover. She'd been driven backwards beneath the onslaught, pinned at the broken railings by the unending stream of bullets from the gunship. On the other side of the railings was a sheer drop.

Shepard tried to break cover. Her barriers glowed purple beneath the gunfire, and she was forced to retreat back behind a small stack of boxes that could offer her little protection against a rocket.

The gunship wheeled to one side as it sought a better position. Thane propelled himself forwards.

He crossed the space in seconds, threw his arms around her waist, and pulled her close. The gunship fired. Thane stepped neatly off the side.

-0-0-0-0-

Shepard saw the familiar blue blur. A second later, she was plummeting towards the ground some twenty metres below. Thane held her in his arms, and she felt his biotics burst into life as the ground rushed up to greet them.

Of course. Shepard copied him, feeling the ground against the edges of the mass effect field she'd created. It was enough to stop them crashing to their deaths, but it wasn't enough to absorb the impact entirely.

They hit the ground, rolled down the slope in a bright tangle of limbs, and crashed to a halt.

She lay stunned, staring up at the blue fingers of sky that reached between the trees. Above them, she could hear the gunship and, somewhere closer, the soft call of birds.

"I thought you were dead," Shepard said, turning her head to look at Thane. He was on his feet already, half-hidden by the shadows of the trees. "Is Garrus with you?"

Thane offered her his hand, and she reached for it, scrambling upright. Nothing felt broken, though she would be wearing her usual bruises afterwards. She could only imagine how Thane felt without armour.

Her pulse leapt with pleasure at seeing him again, fear releasing its grip on her. His mere presence gave her hope that all was not lost.

"He was alive when I left him," Thane said. "I presumed he would have made contact."

There was a stutter of gunfire, and Shepard recognized it at once. She would have known it anywhere, could have picked out Garrus in the midst of a full on fire-fight, as indeed she had in the past.

"We'd better get up there. Can we get up the same way?" she asked, searching around in the undergrowth for the pistol that had bounced clear of her hand.

Thane found it first and offered it to her. "I thought the Alliance would have taught you how to move using biotics," he said, stepping closer.

"I have tried to learn, more than once. I didn't really see the point," Shepard admitted. She had always preferred the straight application of power to plough through things and get her out of trouble.

"Ah, then allow me."

Thane reached for her in the darkness, and she caught her breath as he slipped his arms around her waist. His biotics tingled over her skin, and she felt the rush of power as Thane jumped them further up the slope in a single glowing bound.

This was what Kaidan had tried to teach her, and now she could see why. It was like flying.

They leapt back up the slope towards the platform, and Shepard let out a laugh of joy. She could have done that forever, suspended weightless in Thane's arms with nothing to hold them back.

He released her as they neared the ledge at the top of the slope, and they clambered on, scattering the roosting birds before them.

"That was…" Shepard trailed off, grinning broadly at the drell crouched next to her. "How do you do that?"

"Simple manipulation of barrier boundaries. I could show you properly, under more agreeable circumstances," Thane said, and Shepard's smile faded.

There could be no such thing as agreeable circumstances for them anymore. Even if he did consent to continue their tests, she knew it would do nothing more than rake up feelings she had to keep under control.

She turned her attention to the battlefield. Thane took his gaze from her and started scanning the platform with his sniper rifle.

They had the perfect vantage point from up there. She could see where Garrus was, picking at the gunship, and occasionally she could make out Kasumi taking care of the remaining mercs. That left the gunship.

She clicked her tongue in frustration, then felt Thane nudge her gently. In his hands was a small supply of heavy weapons ammo, and whilst it might not be enough to take the gunship down outright, it would certainly tip the odds in their favour.

Shepard snapped it into her missile launcher, shouldered it easily, and let a missile fly at the gunship.

It wheeled to face the new threat, and Shepard moved instinctively, grabbing Thane roughly round the middle as her biotics bloomed into life. A split second later they were hurtling to an untidy stop a couple of metres away, a missile striking the ledge where they'd just been.

Thane grunted, and Shepard withdrew her arms from him quickly. "I'm sorry," she murmured, clenching her fists. "I didn't mean to hurt you." She allowed herself one last glance at him before flinging herself away towards Garrus' last known position.

"If we don't get those shields down we're going to be here all night," Garrus said, not looking up from his scope as she arrived. "Got any insane plans you'd care to share?"

"I'll take care of the shields," Kasumi announced.

"What?" Shepard craned her head out of cover just enough to catch a glimpse of Kasumi climbing nimbly up the pipes that lined one side of the platform, then sprint headlong towards the gunship.

Shepard moved to duck out of cover, unwilling to let Kasumi go alone, and felt someone grab her arm. When she turned, Thane was holding onto her. Garrus ignored them completely.

"Watch," Thane said simply, releasing her, and Shepard did so.

She'd never seen a gunship dealt with in such a way, and despite her worry it was clear that Kasumi had the situation under control.

The thief landed on the canopy of the gunship with the utmost precision, her omni-tool glinting as she positioned herself carefully.

Hock tried to shake her off, but her work was already done. The shields were down. Kasumi leapt lithely from the gunship, landing in the darkness somewhere beneath it, and Shepard broke cover. Her missiles streaked through the night air, and the gunship started to drop.

It lit the sky for a moment, sparks drifting to the ground from its crippled engines. After a second of concentrated fire from all of them, it dropped to the ground with a roar.

Shepard examined the burning wreck for signs of life, then glanced back up at the complex behind her. She didn't want to catch the attention of Hock's party guests if possible. "_Normandy_, we are clear for extraction. Kasumi?"

"Here." She materialised next to them, her face hidden.

"Did you get what you came for?" Garrus asked, and Shepard shot him a frown.

Kasumi looked at the smoking remains of Donovan Hock and his gunship, her hand drifting over the utility belt where she'd stashed the grey box. "I did. Shall we?"

Shepard didn't wait for Thane, choosing instead to fall into step beside Garrus. She was happy to match his stride. She'd made a deal. It was up to her to stick to it.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Shepard stared unblinkingly at the stars above her. She was exhausted, but still her mind wandered restlessly, keeping her awake even as her eyes prickled with exhaustion.

Her unfinished business seemed to be looming large over her life. There hadn't been time to speak with Thane after they got back.

She couldn't help remembering the rush of being in Thane's arms, weightless and lifting into the air. Shepard screwed her fists into her eyes and sighed.

"Shepard?"

"Yes, EDI?"

"Sere Krios is requesting entry to your quarters."

Shepard stared up at the stars passing by outside. "Give me a minute, then let him in."

She had scrambled into her trousers, and was looking round the room for her hoodie when Thane strode in, closing the distance in long, precise, strides.

"Shepard, I…I apologise for waking you. There is something I must discuss with you."

He paced restlessly, his eyes flickering, and Shepard froze.

"Thane? What is it? Are you okay? I could get Chakwas if you…"

"No," Thane said, sitting down on the edge of the sofa and knitting his hands together. "No. I am fine, though I suppose that is a part of it. My mortality has me dwelling on things."

Shepard sat down on the bed opposite him. "What's wrong?"

He glanced up at her, and she thought she saw something flicker across his face, something raw and unguarded that she'd never seen before. Thane was afraid.

"I had a family once. I still have a son. His name is Kolyat. I haven't seen him for a very long time."

A family. A son. Fragments of his life that she had known nothing about, until now.

"Once? Did something happen to them?"

"I abandoned them. Not all at once. Nothing so dramatic. No sneaking out in the middle of the night. No final argument or slamming door. I just did my job," Thane said. He looked away from her as he spoke, head dipped, shoulders hunched. "I hunted and killed across the galaxy. 'Away on business,' my wife would tell people."

Thane raised his head. "I was always away on business."

Shepard turned the information over in her mind before speaking. "And your son? Kolyat?"

"When my wife departed from her body I decided it would be best if I left him in the care of his aunts and uncles. I could not risk him walking the same path as I did. It was not what…" Thane stopped and seemed to gather himself. "I have not seen my son since I left him there ten years ago."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I received a message from one of my old contacts informing me that Kolyat has gone to the Citadel. He has taken a job as a hit man. I would like your help to stop him. He is—this is not a path he should walk."

A path littered with corpses. She knew it well enough, as well as she knew the need for people like Thane. And like her. Their hands were bloodied in the hope that others could live a different life. Shepard had given up on her own innocence long ago, but she still believed in protecting that of others.

"I understand." She examined Thane intently. "But why the Citadel? And why now?"

"Years ago, I prepared a package for him. A relic of my ill-spent life. I had volus bankers store it, and arranged for delivery when I died. He acquired it early. I don't really know how." Thane brows furrowed. "I did wetwork on the Citadel around the time his mother died. That may be why he went there."

He got to his feet and prowled round the room, and Shepard took the opportunity to gather her hoodie up from the floor under the sofa. She was shivering now, in her thin vest and bare feet.

It must have taken something more than bravery to betray a man like Thane Krios. If the package had found its way to his son then there was bound to be something else going on. Perhaps Liara could help.

Thane had come to a halt before the fish tank and he stared blindly at its depths, his face devoid of expression.

Shepard thought back to the first time she'd met him, to the lanterns dancing in the breeze as Thane melted away into darkness. He had believed his son was lost to him. This was a chance to put past mistakes right.

"We're on our way to the Citadel now. I'll have one of my friends see if we can find out how he got the package," Shepard said, pulling her hoodie on and padding over to him. "But Thane, I don't have your contacts, and I don't have your tracking skills. Why do you need my help for this?"

"I don't need your help, I want it," Thane growled. "The last time I saw my son…"

She recognised the fluttering grasp of his memory, saw him vanish inside the moment as his words tumbled out, harsh and discordant.

"_They've wrapped her body in sea-vines. Weighted it with stones. He tries to pull from me. Calls for her. The hanar lift her off the platform. They sing like bells. 'The fire has gone to be kindled anew'. He begs them not to take her away. They let her body slide into the water. He hits me. 'Don't let them. Stop them! Why weren't you?_' It rains. It always rains on Kahje. Warm water pours down his face."

The pain of the memory shook her, the sorrow in his voice, and she felt shame at having conjured it.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you relive that," Shepard murmured.

"Perfect memory. It is sometimes a burden." He looked up at her, and she moved just close enough for their shoulders to make contact.

"Don't worry. We'll find him," she said.

Thane looked at her, and Shepard raised her chin. She'd be damned if she was going to fail at this.

"Thank you, Cora. I will leave you to your sleep." He straightened, the brief point of contact broken.

"I'll let you know as soon as we reach the Citadel."

Thane bowed, and left her.

Shepard climbed back into bed, keeping her hoodie and trousers on, and curled into a tight ball beneath the covers.

It did not surprise her to hear that Thane had a child, or that in some point in his past he had been married. Thane had his past, just as she had hers. She had made her offer of help now, had taken Thane's pain on as her own, and therein lay the problem.

If she failed, it would cost her Thane's fragile trust, his belief in her and all that she was. It was not a failure she was sure she could stand.


	18. Out of the darkness

When the summons from Shepard finally arrived, Thane not at peace as he had hoped. He was frayed, anxiety eating away at him. With every passing moment his son could be slipping further into darkness, and his failure of Irikah would be complete.

If his wife and his son were lost to him, then what little light he had kept burning in his heart would be extinguished. The only thing that sustained him was Shepard. She would not let him fall.

He didn't wait for the allotted time, heading down to the docking bay door the moment the message came through. When he arrived, he saw a hooded figure waiting by the door. Kasumi.

Then she turned, and the way she moved told him everything. It was not the thief, but Shepard dressed in what looked like an outfit borrowed from Kasumi, hooded and dark. Balanced between her hands was a glowing ball of energy that Thane recognised as one of the five Asari meditation techniques.

It faded as he approached her, and the light left her face.

"You're early," she said, rubbing her hands together.

"I saw no need to wait. Are we stealing Kolyat?" Thane asked, and Shepard pushed her hood back.

"You never know. I thought that Commander Shepard might draw attention, and that's exactly what we don't need."

Thane nodded. The sight of a previously dead, heavily armoured, Spectre running around the Citadel asking questions about his son could only cause problems.

"I asked my friend if she could look into how Kolyat got the package," Shepard said, glancing up at him. "She's found nothing yet, but it could take some time. "

He'd expected as much. Thane had wondered about the same thing himself once he heard what had happened. If he were not pledged to Shepard's cause, he would have had no reservations in pursuing the matter himself. As it stood, he was grateful to Shepard, and to her friend, for attending to it in his stead. "Volus bankers are not known for breaking bonds."

"That's what Liara said," Shepard frowned, checking her omni-tool. "Joker?"

"Just docking now," Joker responded. "Give me a second to get the doors open and you're good to go."

"Thanks, Joker. EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI answered.

"I want everyone confined to ship until I return, is that understood?"

"Understood."

The seals on the door hissed, and Shepard turned to Thane. "Are you ready?" she asked, pulling her hood up.

He was unsure, and his hesitation must have shown.

"We can do this, Thane. Trust me," Shepard reassured him, turning away and striding out of the door. She moved through without fear, lending him her strength.

Shepard led them straight to C-Sec, stopping at the desk of a weathered looking officer. He sat back in his chair and gave Shepard a long, hard, stare. "It's you again. What can I do for you this time?"

"Captain Bailey, I was hoping you could help us. My associate here is looking for his son. We think a local criminal may have hired him," Shepard said, keeping her head down.

"That should be easy, we don't see many drell here," Bailey said, checking through his reports. "There we go. One of my men reported a drell recently. And he was talking to Mouse. Interesting."

"Mouse?" He knew the name, and hoped futilely that it was a coincidence.

"Yeah, a petty criminal, probably not the guy who hired your boy, but he's a messenger. He's a former duct rat, runs errands for anyone who'll pay," Bailey replied, leaning back on his chair. "Mouse survived long enough that he can't fit in the ducts anymore. He was one of the smarter ones. Or the luckier ones."

Shepard recoiled, a small movement, but one he had grown to recognise. Something about Bailey's words was bothering her, and she shifted one of her feet back as though readying to leave.

"He's been getting himself into trouble though. Odd jobs for shifty people. Duct rats take whatever's available to get by. Data running, fencing stolen goods, selling illegal VI personalities. Actually he was selling one of you."

"Me?" Shepard repeated blankly.

"Yeah, it's buggy though. Crashes every half hour. The error message was something about how the galaxy was at stake and you should fix the problem yourself."

"Yeah, thanks for that. Where can we find Mouse?"

"He's upstairs outside the Dark Star. He works out of a public comm terminal." Bailey switched his attention to Thane. "Looks like your boy's running with the wrong crowd."

Thane nodded. "Yes, I agree."

"If Mouse can't get you in touch with your son directly, he'll know who can. I'll help you if you need it."

"Bailey, not that I mean to say anything about C-Sec, but you're not usually so quick to help," Shepard said. "Why are you doing this? Why would you help us?"

"I've worked Zakera for two years. Every day kids turn to crime because they've got no other choice. Because their parents don't care." Bailey frowned and looked up at Thane, examining him for a moment. "You're trying to save yours."

"He faces a dark path."

"Thank you, Captain," Shepard responded, already moving towards the exit. "Let's go find Mouse."

She strode ahead, and Thane matched her stride easily. They found Mouse exactly where Bailey had said he would be, his back to them as he chatted on a comm.

Though he had grown, there was no mistaking him, the scabby-kneed child now a man. Thane hung back deliberately, allowing Shepard to make the first move. To his surprise, she took her hood down before approaching the young man, tapping him gently on the arm.

"Mouse?"

"What do you…Oh shit." Mouse turned pale with shock at the sight of them, backing away with a datapad clutched tightly to his chest. "Krios? I thought you retired? Commander Shepard, I thought you died. What do you want with me?"

"Be still, Mouse. You can change your pants in a moment," Thane said, patting his arm.

"How do you know Thane?" Shepard asked. She gave him the briefest of glances.

Mouse looked uncomfortable. "Krios, I, he didn't, uh. If he didn't say nothing, I ain't either."

"When we heard the name I didn't think it could be the same Mouse," Thane answered. "He was a contact on the Citadel when I was active. He and some other children would gather information on my targets."

"You used children?" There was the slightest trace of shock in Shepard's voice. He had disappointed her.

Whatever her response, Thane remained unperturbed. He no longer felt any squeamishness about using these people for his work, having seen the difference his offerings made to those who would otherwise have nothing. It was not a perfect solution, but this was not a perfect galaxy.

"Children, the poor," Thane said. "My people's word for their kind is 'drala'fa': the Ignored. They're everywhere, see everything, yet they are never seen." The Ignored. Kolyat.

Rage surfaced, and Thane took hold of Mouse's collar, twisting it between his fingers. There was no time for pleasantries. "You gave another drell instructions for an assassination. Who's the target?"

"I don't know!" Mouse squeaked. "I didn't ask, why would I? You start asking questions and you disappear. I'd like to help you, Krios. You've always done right by us. But I ain't gonna die for you."

Shepard prised Thane's hands loose, placing herself between the two of them. "Mouse, you know Thane wouldn't ask unless it was important," she said, her voice even. "Please, do it for him."

Mouse slumped, keeping his eyes on Shepard. "I want to, he was always nice to us. But these people ain't nice, Krios."

"Nobody's going to know you talked to us, and if they find out, well." She shrugged, and looked over her shoulder at Thane. "I'm sure we could figure something out."

"I swear you won't be named," Thane promised solemnly.

"All right, all right." Mouse gave in, stepping closer and whispering rapidly. "He came with that holo you took of me. Said he wanted a job. I ran through your old contacts to see who might give him a shot. The guy who offered was Elias Kelham. He was little people when you were here, Krios."

"Let's get back to Bailey, see what he knows about Kelham," Shepard said. "And Mouse? About those VI's you're selling." All her softness had fled.

Mouse had the good grace to look guilty, holding his hands up in defeat. "Oh shit, you heard about those? Look, you were dead. It was totally legal to make a VI of you."

"How about I take one, and we call it even?"

"Oh, uh, okay. Sure."

Mouse gave her the VI and left, not looking back.

Shepard pulled up her hood and set off back to the C-Sec office, glancing at the flickering image of the VI that appeared on her omni-tool. Thane gave her a questioning look, and she shrugged.

"I thought it might give Garrus something to laugh about," she said, her face hardening when she mentioned the name of her friend. It passed in an instant, to be replaced by a look of concern. Her pace down the corridors did not slow. "How are you holding up? That can't have been easy, seeing him again after all that time."

"Mouse knew more about my life than Kolyat ever did," Thane said softly, giving himself over to another memory. "_He smiles up at me, broken teeth and scabby knees, bare feet black. A dead end future looking back up me. Worshipping the petty gifts I offer._ I was the only good thing he had back then. But I left him, as I left Kolyat."

"You can't blame yourself for that. We do what we have to."

"If I don't, who will?" Thane said, pausing as they reached the office. "We must carry the weight of our decisions, Shepard. You, of all people, know this."

She stared back at him. Thane knew that she wasn't seeing him, but something else akin to his flashes of memory, something far in her past.

"Come on, let's talk to Bailey."

Bailey knew Kelham a little too well for Thane's liking. He confessed the nature of their relationship, and offered to bring Kelham in. Shepard remained calm and steady, her gaze fluttering to Thane frequently.

Time was ticking by, and he still had no idea where his son was. Once they had Kelham, Thane would have his chance. The last thread of his self-control threatened to unravel. If it did, if he finally gave in to the rage that had consumed Irikah's killers, then he would have unmasked himself for what he was. A killer, a creature undeserving of love, and he expected Shepard to see as much.

"He's here," Shepard muttered, and Thane roused himself long enough to make note of the man's face as Kelham was dragged past him. The human in the cheap suit was unremarkable, another face to add to his list of victims.

Bailey followed at a discreet distance, waiting until the door was shut before speaking. "He'll expect me to get him out of this."

"Not today I think," Thane said, letting his memories linger over the various techniques he had been taught.

Bailey's comm buzzed into life. "Captain, his lawyer's here."

"Great. I'll stall him. Get in there and work fast," Bailey snapped, heading back towards the entrance.

"We should question him together. Keep the pressure on. Any thoughts on how we approach it?" Thane asked Shepard politely.

She scrutinised him for a long moment. When her response came, it was grim, all comfort bleached from it.

"You appeal to his self-interest. I'll do the rest."

"Very well. I'll pretend to be on his side. But if we waste too much time negotiating Bailey won't be able to stall Kelham's advocate."

They stepped into the room, and Thane took up station at the foot of Kelham's chair, standing over him in the dusted light. Shepard melted into the shadows.

"Who the hell are you two?" Kelham yelled, giving his arm restraints an exploratory pull. "When Bailey hears—"

"Bailey has got nothing to do with this. We just want a few answers. Off the record," Shepard said. Her voice was cold.

"Off the record in a C-Sec interrogation room? Sure."

Shepard emerged from the shadows, her eyes smouldering red.

Kelham ignored her, struggled at his restraints. "I want to see my advocate."

"Your advocate hasn't arrived, we're trying to find him," Thane lied smoothly, watching Shepard. She was utterly still, her eyes glinting red in the dark. Thane felt a thrill of something akin to fear.

"I'm not saying a damn word," Kelham snarled.

Shepard hit him, a glancing blow that knocked Kelham's head back.

"Pay attention, Mister Kelham. I'm getting bored," she said, leaning menacingly over his chair. "Now where were we?"

"That wasn't a good idea, kid. That is gonna cost you."

"Kid?" Shepard half snarled, her hands twitching at her sides, and Thane felt the situation sliding away from him. He'd assumed he was the only one that was angry. He'd been wrong.

He caught her eye and gave her the smallest of nods. "Control your temper. We want him to talk."

She stepped backwards, and all but vanished.

"Sorry," Thane said, smoothing the worry from his voice. "My associate gets a little… excited during interrogations."

Kelham was obviously a fool. He believed himself protected by Bailey, to the point where he seemed willfully blind to the consequences of resisting. Instead he sneered, glaring up at Thane with an expression that tested his patience.

"Hit me again, asshole. Every punch is another credit in my pocket."

"Works for me," Shepard murmured, and she hit Kelham again, harder this time.

She was obviously no stranger to calculated violence. He'd seen her throw herself at deserving foes, and blaze across battlefields decimating all before her. But he'd never seen this quiet violence, the cold rage beneath the surface. He realised that he wasn't the only one with secrets.

"Do you know what I'll do to you when I get out of here?" Kelham managed to splutter, blood trickling from one side of his mouth.

"Shouldn't that be _if_ you get out of here?" Shepard said, looming over his chair and raising one glowing fist. "It looks like you're going to be a very rich corpse."

"Go to hell!"

Thane crossed to Shepard's side, taking her arm and guiding her into the darkness at the side of the room. They stood in the shadows together, her face hidden.

"Ease up. He's no use to us dead." Thane hissed.

She finally looked at him, and he caught a glimpse of her expression. She looked unfamiliar, a hostile stranger staring back at him. Of all the things he had learnt about her, her tenderness and mercy, her ferocity in defending her friends, this intrigued him the most, this shadow to the brightness that she kept from everyone else.

"You're right. Let's try something else," Shepard murmured.

She approached Kelham again, her movements languid and inviting. She leant over his chair, straightened the mussed collar of his suit, and caressed his face tenderly.

"I have a better idea, Mister Kelham. How about we sweeten the pot? You tell us the target, and Bailey drops his prices fifty percent. We all walk out of here happy and you never have to see us again." She sounded lazy, inviting almost.

Kelham watched her suspiciously for a moment. Shepard pulled back, letting her hands trace lightly across his chest. The difference in her manner was disconcerting at best.

"Can I get that in writing?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," she said, turning away.

"Damn it. It's Joram Talid. He's a Turian running for intendant of Zakera ward. His apartment's in the 800 blocks, but you'd better hurry."

-0-0-0-0-

There was a moment, as Kolyat broke cover, where Thane saw him not as an adult grown, but as a small child pushing at his tears, desperate to stop the one constant in his life from being taken away.

But in the flash of gunfire it had gone, and Thane found himself pulled inexorably towards his reckoning. He had tried to cut his ties with the past and instead he had found himself bound by them even after all these years, his memories of Kolyat blurring painfully before his eyes.

Shepard raced at his side, standing close as they entered the room to face Kolyat.

"Kolyat." His chest tightened as he said it, and he studied the changed form of his son before him with a rising tide of regret. The child he had left, supposedly safe, had washed up here on the Citadel because of him.

If he failed now then he had failed Irikah once and for all. The person she had believed him to be would not exist, as he had always suspected.

"This—this is a joke. Now? Now you show up?" The bitterness and incredulity in Kolyat's voice stung, though it was no less than he deserved.

"Help me, drell," Talid begged. "I'll do whatever you want."

The door opened behind them, and he heard Bailey's voice echo through the shadows. Now that the authorities were involved, there was no going back.

"Get out of my way. I'm walking out. He's coming with me," Kolyat snarled, his hands shaking as he clutched the gun. The sight of his son, so obviously unused to the weapon, threatened to break Thane's heart. He had to put a stop to this.

Thane closed the distance between them, barely able to catch his breath. "They'll have snipers outside," he tried to reason. Fear had turned his blood to ice. _Please Arashu, not my son._

"I don't need your help."

A shot rang out in the quiet, and in his chilled state he could only watch as the lamp next to Kolyat shattered, and Shepard stepped forward. She hit Kolyat across the face, a gentle blow compared to the ones she had levelled at Kelham. With a deft twist, the gun was out of Kolyat's hand.

"Talid, get the hell out of here," she ordered.

"Yeah, yeah, I will," Talid said weakly, staggering out.

"Take the boy into custody," Bailey said, and Kolyat started yelling. Thane could barely make them out. His heart was loud in his ears as he saw Shepard stand guard over his son, the pistol armed and ready in her hands.

She looked over at Thane, then at the approaching officers, her face bright in the flashing lights. Thane felt his body go numb. His vision narrowed to darkness, and the one bright point left within it. His Siha.

"Your Father doesn't have much time left, Kolyat. He's trying to make up for his mistakes," she said, her voice ringing through the quiet.

Kolyat dismissed her, and turned towards Thane with a look of hatred on his face. "What, so you came to get my forgiveness? So you can die in peace or something?"

Thane found his voice at last. "I came to grant you peace. You're angry because I wasn't there when your mother died."

"You weren't there when she was alive. Why should you be there when she died?"

It was at last time for the truth.

"Your mother—they killed her to get to me. It was my fault."

The shock was evident on Kolyat's face. "What?"

"After her body was given to the deep, I went to find them. The trigger men. The ringleaders. I hurt them. Eventually I killed them. When I went back to see you, you were… older. I should have stayed with you."

He should have, he saw that now. All those moments that had been lost, all the memories he should have had. He'd given them up through his own cowardice, and left them for others to take.

"I guess it's too bad for me you waited so long, huh?"

"Kolyat. I've taken many bad things out of the world," Thane said, his voice heavy. "You're the only good thing I ever added to it."

Tears started to trail down Kolyat's face. Thane reached for the son he hadn't held in years, the little boy he used to dance with now a man grown, and a stranger.

Thane remembered the weight of Kolyat's body, heavy with sleep as he carried him through the dusk to bed. The tiny tangle of Kolyat's limbs when Irikah had given birth to him. Now he was broad, solid and warm in Thane's arms.

"This isn't a conversation you should have in front of strangers," Bailey said, looking over at his officers. "Boys, take Kolyat and his father back to the precinct. Give them a room and as much time as they need."

Thane walked out of the darkness, the cold leaving his limbs as he stood at his son's side. Arashu had seen fit to grace him with another chance, and he intended to take it.


End file.
